Never Leave Me Alone

Chapter 11

Peeta

"My Lord Abernathy," Katniss says as we meet with her advisors. "You will lead the third and fourth units through the 6th district and March north on the Pinefields. And Sir Odair, I wish for you to come up from the south." She stands up and traces her finger across the map in front of us, showing the precious lumber resources. She moves her horses representing her army to show the flow she envisions as the two armies meet. "You will meet here and cut off the lumber supply so that further construction in the Capital might be halted. The Chancellor will be unable to raise a navy against the Panem Isle without it. Once I am reported to on your progress, I will send further instructions. Is that understood?" The two men nod.

"Yes, Your Majesty," they say.

"You are dismissed," she says, her stormy eyes downcast. They bow and Katniss sits back down after they leave. Her hands rubber face and she sighs. "I haven't the faintest idea of how to raise an army. I just, I wasn't prepared for this. I have never seen war before."

"I can help," I offer. "I could go over with them." She looks at me and shakes her head.

"No," She says. "Absolutely not. They just beheaded my mother, their queen. They wouldn't hesitate to kill you too now that Panem has given me an army. I would never risk that."

"I would, for you," I say.

"You will not!" She says. "I will not have another person I care about die in this war because I was born a woman. You will not go and fight for me. Not in what will be a very bloody war. Panem needs you. You are his Majesty's only son. And seeing as I have been determined, our marriage is the only way I will ever be able to get my country the freedom it needs. It deserves a better leader than the Chancellor. And I am the closest claim to the throne. So it is my duty to fight this battle. Not yours."

"I'm sorry if I overstepped," I say and she shakes her head, getting up.

"No, you haven't," she says walking around to the side of the table, rolling the map up. She lays it on a shelf and looks over at me. "I do need your help. But I will not condone you to die. You will serve as my advisor. We will make the decisions upon Seam as equals. As though we were married already. You will not enter the campaign."

"Why are you so concerned for my life?" I ask. "I mean nothing to you." She looks at me and shakes her head.

"Peeta, you do mean a great deal to me. I do care for you. You're not only my betrothed and connection to forces I couldn't imagine raising on my own, you are my friend. My only friend. The only one that I can trust. I can't loose you. I couldn't take it after loosing my mother the way I did." I walk up to her and hold her arms gently.

"I will be loyal and faithful to you," I say. "Always. You are my heart. My only concern in the world." She looks at me fiercely.

"How are you a leader who could help me when you're more concerned with me than your duty to your country?" She says. "Peeta, I need you to be the leader I know you can be. That I can put my trust in. If I am to love you, I need to respect you. Which I can't do when you act this lovesick fool?" I stare at her a moment and she turns to look out the window.

"I," I look down. "I don't understand what you are saying."

"You need to do what you know is right!" She says, turning to me. "Not bend to my every whim. You need to make decisions on your own, not over whether I will appreciate them or not. Be the King I know that you can be. Despite what you think would please me. At the very least, grant me the respect of another leader, Your Highness!" I look her over, noticing how strong and fierce she looks, her long hair done into tight braids intricately woven together behind her head. Her dark lashes frame her intense stormcloud grey eyes and her plump lips are pursed. She wears a dress of crimson velvet and her stance is firm and strong. Her jewels of her stature only add to the intimidating state she holds over me at the moment.

"I'm sorry," I say. "You're right. I need to  be an ally in this. What do you have planned?" Her stance falls and she shrugs.

"What do you think about the plan to isolate them from naval influence?" She asks.

"It's wise," I say. "I would have intervined if it wasn't. You only need to go and be sure to keep meeting with your generals repersentitives and I will guide you from there."

"You're sure?" She says.

"For now, it's all you can do," I say. She looks down and I grab her hands. "You are a good Queen, Katniss. You just need to have the confidence to believe it."

"Am I though?" She says.

"Yes," I say. "I believe in you. You are a the best queen Seam could ask for. The best queen Panem could ask for." I look down. "The best queen I think I could ever ask for Katie. I've never in all my life known someone as clever and brave as you." She states at me a moment and then stands up on her toes to kiss me.

It's soft and gentle and...

Different. More intense. Like she needs to prove something. Not to me. I've done nothing but put her on a pedestal and she's done nothing but deny it. This is her trying to...

Is she trying to figure out what she's feeling?