Never Leave Me Alone

Chapter 20

Katniss

I sit in the front room of the Prince's quarters, carefully stitching up the sleeves of the shirt Peeta will be wearing to the wedding. I hear the doctors and gentlemen of the privy chamber talking with Peeta, having figured out a substitute until the wooden leg can be finished. He wanted to find something, anything to be able to get around for the time being and be able to stand beside me at the wedding.

I told him that there was absolutely no reason to rush it. It isn't as though I am avoiding the marriage. Infact, I find myself quite taken and satisfied with the idea of becoming the wife of a man with such a beautiful heart. And even the others, his brother Gale for one, feel that he needs to allow time for more recovery prior to rushing to marry.

But Peeta has insisted that we will marry by week's end. He claims that after this scare on his life, he wishes to not only secure the line and family we might someday have, but to ensure that despite my stumbling, seemingly crumbling kingdom, I should not be charged to fall to the wolves as it were should something happen to him again.

A dowager princess of Merchan would be ensured the greatest respect and care upon her husband's death and up unto hers. I refuse to even think about it. I don't imagine the option as even being, seeing as I would not like to loose the last person I truly care for and cares for me.

"Katie?" I hear from the back bedroom. "Can you come here please?" I set down the bundle of white cloth and carefully make my way to the bedchamber. I bow slightly as the gentlemen bow low to me with mutters of acknowledgment. Peeta smiles and gestures to the chair by his bed. I walk across the floor and sit down neatly.

"Your Highness, is there a reason you called me to this meeting of the privy chamber?" I ask.

"Because, we are discussing what will be carried out in the event of my death," he says. "And seeing as it involves the future of you and the family we would have, and the fact that you are of higher regard than I, you deserve to be involved in such decision." I look at him sternly.

"You are sixteen going on seventeen," I say. "Why must you plan as though you will not wake tomorrow? Can't we just let it be for just a short time?" Peeta reaches out and takes my hand from my lap, kissing my knuckles.

"I do not intend to leave you, Katniss," he says. "Not anytime soon. But I do wish that I could ensure that you and my children would be taken care of. We should set such measures in motion now and not later so it could be forgotten about." I nod and look at his secretary.

"What has so far been decided?" I ask.

"Well obviously, the eldest son will inherit his father's claim to the throne, and a sufficient dowry of 100,000 crowns to be given to each daughter. The titles to be given to the sons are in order, Merchan, Ryeland, Ashford, and -

"The Pinelands," I say. "As upon the death of my king, I shall abdecate to the next king in line." Peeta looks at me. "Ashes too, will be given to the children I would have with my husband and Lord, as I intend to retreat from public affairs should His Highness die before I."

"Katniss, you must be sure," he says and I nod.

"I don't want to be implicated by anyone for an ambition I neither have nor for power I never wanted," I say. "And if I would loose you, my one true friend, I will not be sullied and corrupted by this work." Peeta watches me a moment more before nodding in agreement.

"Let it be as Her Majesty wishes," he says. "As none of us can blame her for these requests." I dip my head to hem and fold my hands again. "And until I have children to be willed my estates, they will be put into the trust of Queen Katniss Everdeen. And in the event of my untimely death prior to any revisions that may be made to this will, she shall be charged with the even distribution as I believe there to be no fairer person to be charged with such a task." I reluctantly nod.

"Let us pray that day would never come," I say softly. There are murmers of agreement as it is all written and presented to Peeta. He signs the will and it is sealed. The council leaves not long after and I remain in my seat.

Peeta reaches out to tuck a loose hair behind my ear. His hand lingers a moment and I take a deep breath.

"You are so beautiful," he says. I feel his lips grazing my ear as he speaks and I shiver. I sigh and look down.

"You shouldn't speak so softly in my ear," I say.

"Why not?" He asks.

"We aren't married," I state.

"We marry tomorrow," he says. I look down.

"We could marry five minutes from now and I still wouldn't have you speaking to me that way," I say standing. "You won't beacon me to you like this. I am a woman of virtue." He smirks and allows me to stand there a moment.

"Of that I do not have a doubt," he says, reaching out his hand to me. I walk over to him, taking it. "Will I be invited to your chambers tomorrow?" I look at our joined hands, feeling myself shake. His hand guides me to sit next to him, this time on the edge of the bed. "I do not expect you to. I was just wondering."

"I'll admit, I, I think I would. Though I cannot say how comfortable I would be tomorrow," I say.

"Do you love me?" He asks quietly. I look up at him and then at the wounded leg. He tips my chin up to look at him. "Katie, you don't have to. But I will not be sent to your bed for appearences. I would not like to see you in a position of discomfort as my wife when you do not want to be with someone who you don't love." I keep my eyes on him and nod.

"I understand," I say. "And I respect you for that. And We,"I stop shaking my head to correct myself. I would still desire you to come to my bedchamber upon our wedding night. For I have never felt the trust nor care I have for you and if that not be a great love for you, I haven't the foggiest idea what love would be." He smiles and cups my cheek.

"You love me?" He asks, looking as though he may cry. "Real or Not?" I lean my forehead against his, closing my eyes.

"Real"