Never Leave Me Alone

Chapter 24

Katniss

I sign the final decree and fold my hands. "There, your parcells for your dedication of loyalties have been signed and distributed. What next?" They look from one to another. 

"Will you be returning to continue progress on the continent?" one asks uncomfortably and I shake my head.

"No, My Lords," I say standing. "I have decided to place my embassador, Plutarch Heavensbee, in charge as prime minister to carry out these two death warrants and carry out day to day runnings of the country. I intend to remain here with my king as he is crown prince and we do intend to move forward with joining Seam to the rest of Panem. And especially as there will still be quite a bit of unrest as my kingdom rebuilds, we will be safest here as we make preparations for his coronation, which I intend to begin carrying out by winter."

"As King of Panem, Your Majesty?" they ask, sounding concerned. I shake my head.

"Of course not," I say. "His Majesty, my father under God's law, is in the most glowing health. I am of course talking about giving my husband his rightful title."

"The Crown Matrimonial?" one asks and I nod. 

"It is only fair, seeing as he used his forces to aid me in this success, long before we married," I say. "He considers my people his own. He deserves to be named their king."

"I suppose," Lord Abernathy says sourly and I strike my hand on the table.

"He is my husband and deserves the honor of that title. I will not be questioned in this mater, as if anything were to happen to me, He is the one I trust to ensure the care of you all! Now go, set forth your death warrants and send word when it is done. I will not hear more from you on this issue. You are dismissed from my service until I care to call on you again." They all stand and bow as I walk from the room.My ladies follow as I come into my private chambers. I fall over the wash basin, vomiting my stomach contents violently.  Lady Latimer rushes forward and pulls my braid away. the others gasp as I cough and one wipes my mouth. 

"Lay down, please, Your Majesty," she says softly. I shake my head. 

"I am fine," I say," I need to look into getting the funds to rebuild the homes in the Capital." 

"You could be with child," One says. "You should rest for the baby's sake." I shake my head. 

"One missed bleeding due to the stress of all these meetings does not mean that I am pregnant," I say. "I'll hear nothing of the sort until I suggest it. And none of you will speak of this to anyone. Not a soul. You understand, My ladies?" they nod reluctantly and I go to my chair and sit down. I have felt a little shaky lately, but I work to keep myself sane by saying I won't let it happen. It couldn't have happened yet. Not when my life is just taken this turn, when I finally find myself happy with Peeta after having held out on letting myself love him for so long.  

I run my hand across my forehead and sigh. So what if I am? I won't let it stop me. I will rest, but I refuse to be rushed away, locked in my chambers until my screams of agony bring a child into the world. I have already decided that I will remain in my bed, next to my husband, until that time comes for me. And I most certainly will not abandon my kingdom, who are all my children, for the one I might carry in my womb. 

"Katie?" I hear faintly, drawing me from my zoned out state. I look over at him and smile. He reaches forward and  touches my cheek.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asks. "You look so pale?" I shake my head. 

"I'm fine," I say. "Just a little tired and stressed. They didn't want to give you the crown, but I shut that down, immediately." He sighs, coming to sit beside me. 

"I don't need it Katniss," He says. "You shouldn't have to stress over it, fight so hard for something when you just need to keep yourself well." I lay my hand on his and shake my head. 

"I only want to do what is right," I say softly. "Just let me do something for you for once." I lay my head back and rest it on his shoulder. He raises his hand to my cheek and sighs. 

"You have a fever," he says. "You need to get to bed. He gets up and lifts me and I groan. 

"Don't treat me like a child," I say and he chuckles as he lays me down and starts untying my corset. I breathe easier as he does and I feel him start to pull my skirt away. He gasps and I faintly hear him yell for one of my maids who says something about getting the physician. My world goes fuzzy and dark.

When I can feel the waking world again, Peeta's head is laying on the bed next to my arm, his hand gripping mine. I look up at him and squeeze his hand. He lifts his head and grabs my hands. His eyes are puffy and red from crying. 

"What happened?" I ask wearily and he shakes his head. 

"Spanish Flu, from some of your council," he says. "You've been so ill for days. And after the bloodloss, they thought you'd be gone too." I look down and feel my middle, where a thick bandage sits, like one they use for monthly bleedings.

"What bloodloss?" I ask. "Even if I was bled, I don't understand how that would make me sicker. He shakes his head."

"They didn't bleed you, katie," He says, his voice breaking. I realize what he's saying and what really happened. I look down at our joined hands and feel a tear run down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," I say. "I know how much you wanted me to be pregnant. I failed you." He shakes his head and kisses my hand. 

"This all isn't your fault," he says. "You were sick and you didn't want this right now anyway." I look down, still disappointed in myself. "We'll have more chances. You just need to keep that strong will of yours. I'll be fine. It wasn't my tragedy and near death that just happened." I lean forward and kiss him gently and he cups my cheek, whipping away my tears.  

"I'm still sorry, Peeta," I say. "Ready for it or not, it was our baby. A baby I know you were excited for if I'd of known and told you. " He shakes his head. 

"You should rest," He says trying to stand but U pull him back. 

"Please, don't leave, " I say. "I, I don't want to be alone with this." H enods and kisses my head before walking around and lays down next to me. I curl up into his side, and he strokes my hair gently kissing me. 

"This could happen a hundred times and as long as you are here in the aftermath, I would only thank God for your life and not scorn him for the loss of another." 

"And you'll stay with me?" I ask wearily. He smiles sadly and kisses me gently, brushing my hair from my face.

"Always Katniss," He whispers. "Always."