abandoned | pjm

nine.

park jimin's pov

Another late night. I yawned, grabbing another cup of coffee. I looked down at my watch, seeing that it was already one in the morning. Namjoon was also stuck with a late night shift-entering the staff room.

"Jimin-ah, you look tired." He mentioned as he grabbed a cup of coffee as well.

"You look just as tired as I am." I admitted, giving him a tight lipped smile. He nodded, also admitting to how exhausted he was.

"You know, I got to do a craniotomy today." He smiled as if it was his first surgery he's ever done.

I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky. I had to do a suppository today, I had to try five times before the guy really let me examine him." I crossed my arms and huffed.

"Relax, Jimin. It's only been a week or two since you got here. Eventually you'll get up there. It took me two years to finally become who I am today." He ticked his tongue. I knew he was right. I might've gotten into this hospital somewhat easily and land an amazing job, but I still have a long way to go. Currently, I'm just going around and checking clipboards to see how well my patients are doing. I also try my best to connect with them so they would feel comfortable around me.

Namjoon patted my back, taking a sip of his coffee before leaving the room as quickly as he had entered. I, myself, also left the room-finding something to do. I could take a nap, but knowing that I couldn't sleep through a possible emergency, I decided against taking a nap.

I leaned against the counter. It was pretty quiet today, no crash carts or any misconducts. In fact, it was so quiet that I could hear sniffling. It was barely audible, but it was there. I'm not crazy, either. Instead of ignoring it, my footsteps followed the constant sniffling.

I tilted my head as I reached Miss Ahn's room. The sniffling was a bit louder now since I was near it. I made sure to hide my appearance-I didn't want her to just automatically put on a facade. While I was talking to her this morning, it seemed... fake. Her smiles were tighter, her eyes were obviously puffy and she continuously fidgeted with her fingers. She put on a mask just so she could hide her own feelings.

I never realized how much this affected her. The guilt that had left me earlier has came back hitting me like a truck. It might've been better to tell her the whole thing, maybe that would've been better. Would it?

"Damn it!" I whisper yelled, stopping myself before I slammed my fist against the wall. The sniffling immediately stopped-probably heading my incoherent words.

"H-hello?" Miss Ahn whispered. "Is anybody out there?" She asked, a little louder this time. I held my breath in, not wanting for her to know that I was here.

"God, I must be going crazy," she whispered. "I lose my memory, some stranger tells me that... and now I'm going crazy. I'm also talking to myself-pretty goddamn pathetic." Miss Ahn sounded frustrated as she whispered to herself.

I didn't find that not being able remember the event was pathetic. I also didn't find that crying over someone that just left was pathetic. I find that I-myself, not being able to tell her the truth about how he cheated on her, is indeed very pathetic. I could've helped her avoid all of this, yet I decided to make it worst for her.

I slid down against the floor, hugging my legs to my chest. At least she couldn't see me. I stroked my hand through my hair in frustration. If I don't fix this now, it's going to bite me in my ass sooner or later. I'll fix this soon. I have to. Just not now.

Her sniffles continued. I sat there in silence, with no thoughts traveling through my mind. All I could do was just sit there and listen.

-

your pov

Why did this hurt me so much? I was both confused and saddened about this. I cried in frustration and sadness. I wasn't able to get much sleep within the past two days. Too much had happened, and too many thoughts roamed in my mind. Many of the thoughts were questions that only he has answers to.

I wondered if our two year relationship was one-sided. I wondered if our two year relationship was just thrown away, into the trash. I wondered why he decided to leave in the first place. Where did he go?

I wanted to bang my one working fist onto the bed rest, so I did. "God," I whisper yelled. "Why the hell does it have to be me?" I sighed, tears pooling my eyes once more. This time, they weren't of sadness-they were of frustration. I was so so upset.

"Miss Ahn?" Dr. Park appeared out of nowhere. His hair was all messy, like he was stroking his hand through his hair hundreds of times. He tilted his head, "Are you okay?"

Honestly? I knew that I wasn't, but I put a barrier around myself. I sighed before putting on a smile that seemed all too fake. "I am perfect. I just couldn't seem to sleep, so I was planning on watching a movie." I smiled.

"A movie that made you so mad that you banged your fist against the bed?" Dr. Park asked. I bit the inside of my lip, getting caught.

"Romantic movies frustrate me. The girl falls in love with the guy, she learns that he's telling a lie-the audience knows throughout the whole movie but the female lead doesn't find out until the last 15 minutes. It's just all a mess-and it made me angry. So yes, a movie that made me so mad that I banged my fist." I rambled. I noticed that I usually ramble when I'm telling lies, and it's pretty obvious as well.

Dr. Park doesn't seem to be convinced, but he nods his head-frowning. "Just don't do anything stupid, you need at least one good arm."

I smiled softly at him before nodding at him in understanding. "It's like, two in the morning-why are you still working?" I asked as he sat down in a chair.

"I have late night shifts, I usually get off around four or five in the morning. I'm just here just incase an emergency rolls through." I nodded my head.

"How do you know if something happens?" I asked curiously. Dr. Park doesn't seem bothered as he answers the question.

"We all have these pagers that are quite loud, so we'll know when something happens." There was a moment of silence before he asks me a question. "Do you remember anything at all now? It's been a week."

I tried answering his innocent question with my barriers up, "N-no, not really. There's just flashes that come slowly, but it doesn't help me remember anything." Dr. Park nodded his head slowly-yawning.

I don't recall Dr. Park leaving the room, but I did fall asleep in the peaceful moment we had.

[UNEDITED]