shame. - billy hargrove

eight.

I sit at home alone, Mum is away for the next few days and Dustin is at one of his friend's houses. I flick through the few channels we have before my phone rings. An unknown worried voice calls through the phone, "Is this- Is this Kinsley?" I answer quickly as they continue talking I become worried, "It's Nancy, she told me you would know what to do but she is really drunk so I don't know-" They gave me the address I got changed into a quick outfit and saw Billy's jacket sitting on the chair, it stops me from moving as I think back to the last three days of sad stares across the room. It was now Friday and so, of course, there was a party on, Nancy had invited me to go but I declined thinking that a certain someone else would probably be there. I put my hair into a ponytail, pick up my keys and drive towards the address. I arrive at the flashing house with teenagers spilling out of it as I get inside the door there's a pile of shoes and jackets, must be a 'shoes off' household on all occasions, I slip my shoes off and place my jacket down, grabbing my keys out of the pocket first. I look for Nancy but instead, I find Billy almost immediately, spotting him across the room before turning and walking in the opposite direction.

To my surprise, I find Nancy and a boy with her, "Hi." I smile, yelling over the loud music. Nancy looks at with a big smile, "You need... you- you need to have a chit-chat with Billy O'Bobby. He is sad." She pouts and looks up at the boy who is holding her up, "Jonathan! It's you!" She smiles excited and wraps her arms around his waist. "I would take her home but she drove me and lost her keys somewhere," He smiles also shouting over the music. I dangle my keys in front of him as he takes them, I speak, "It's the little black one on the corner, I'll pick it up from where-ever tomorrow." As they leave, I move towards the punch bowl knowing I'll have to either walk home or ask someone for a ride. I take a sip of the red substance and the atmosphere gets lighter by the time I've finished my drink the house is almost empty and I decide it's probably also my time to leave. I walk over to the pile of shoes and jacket seeing that both have gone. I have no car, no shoes and no jacket. A guy walks up to me, "Hey! You leaving or what!?" He speaks rudely, pushing me back a little bit and I stumble, trip on something and fall backwards. When I hit the ground a little squeak escapes my lips. A hand appears on the boy's shoulder and he gets turned around, a low voice speaks, "Did you seriously just push her?" Before the other boy replies a fist collides with his nose and he is on the ground next to me. I look up and see Billy standing over me with his hand out to help me up. I stand without using his hand and brush off my skirt. His eyes linger on me and he curses under his breath. I suck in a breath starting to feel hot and walk outside into the cold air. I hear Billy close the door behind me, I turn to look at him standing in front of the door, stuttering, "Uhm, thank you, for that." I gesture back towards the house. He nods and speaks carefully, "That's fine, are you okay?"

I sigh and bring my hand up to my head in frustration, "Well, I gave my car to Nancy's friends and I've somehow lost my shoes and my jacket." He closes the distance between us as he walks up to me. His face is a picture of confusion, sadness and conflict. He brings up a hand to my face and places a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes flicker across my face. Taking a step back, he takes off his denim jacket and hands it to me. "I'm house-sitting down the street, it's only a walking distance away. I can carry you there, stay with me." His eyes plead slightly, I sigh, smile and nod, "Okay."

He turns around and I jump up on his back, sliding off. I start giggling and look up to see him with a beautiful smile on his face, I try again and he links his arm under my legs. I wrap my arms loosely around his neck and shoulders as he starts walking down the street. He stops outside an elegant house and I hop down, we walk inside. He sits down on the couch as I walk around the connected living and dining room. His sad eyes follow me around the room as I notice a guitar sitting against the wall. I point to it, smiling, "Do you think it's real?" He smiles, I pluck at two of the strings and sound emerges. I pick up the guitar and sit on the couch across from him, he turns towards me and leans back in his chair. I start strumming a tune and start singing slowly, I look up at Billy with his small smile, I start singing, "Ain't no sunshine when he's gone, it's not warm when he's away. Ain't no sunshine when he's gone and he's always gone too long, anytime he goes away. Anytime he goes away, anytime he goes away," I look down at the guitar before strumming the last chords, "Anytime he goes away."

I look back up at Billy as he stands up, "You are very talented but I think it's time we go to bed." I follow him through to the bedroom, he pulls back the cover and places pillows down the centre of the bed as a barrier. I pull my hair out of the ponytail it was in and my straightened dark hair falls down my back. I look down at what I'm wearing and look up at Billy, he is standing shirtless with the tank top he was just wearing in his hand. He walks towards a bag sitting on top of the set of drawers. He looks around in it and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants. He turns around passing me the t-shirt, "I'm assuming you don't want to sleep in that pretty little getup." He gestures towards my outfit and I take the top from him, saying a small thank you. I turn to face the wall and stretch my arm back to try and reach the back of my dress so I can unzip it. As I struggle to reach it, a small grunt escapes my lips and I feel two strong hands hovering over either side of my waist. I crank my neck to see Billy standing directly behind and move my hair to one side. "Here."

He raises one off his hands and pulls down the zipper revealing the white top underneath my dress. I turn around and without realising how close Billy was, I stumble slightly, placing my hand on his bare chest. He looks down at me, chuckle lightly and placing a hand under my chin lifting it to look up at him. His cheeky smile returns to his face, "You do like me Henderson, under that facade. You like me." I wrap my fingers around his wrist and bring his hand away from my chin, returning his cheeky smile, "No, Hargrove. You wish." He steps backwards, shaking his head. He picks up the grey sweatpants and points towards me, "You have no idea how much I do." He turns around and starts taking off his jeans slowly exposing his boxers, he calls out without turning around or glancing over, "Enjoying the view?"

I scoff, turning around and slipping my dress off. Pulling my shirt over my head I begin to feel over-exposed in my black lace bra and underwear set and quickly grab the tank top, slipping it over my head. It falls to my mid-thighs. I turn around to see Billy already eyeing me and I smirk, crossing my arms, "Enjoying the view?" He breathes out and his smile widens as he walks around to his side of the bed. I slip in my side and look up at the ceiling, sighing, "I'm sorry if I've intruded in any way." He turns his head to look at me, rolls his eyes and then looks back to the ceiling, "Don't apologise when you don't need to." I perk myself up on my arm and look over at him, smiling slightly, he moves his head connecting our eyes, "I just- It's just I don't want to, you know, ruffle your feathers." He chuckles and shakes his head, bringing a hand down over his face. His leg is wrapped around the duvet, his bare chest is peaking out from behind the duvet, the soft light of the bedside lamp contouring his abdomen. He then folds his arms and his biceps become prominent. He smirks and looks over at me cheekily, "You like me." I huff and fall back onto my pillow with my hair flying in the air. I turn on my side facing away from him, struggling to keep a straight face, I lie through gritted teeth, "No." I lean over to the bedside table to turn off the lamp and the room goes black. I close my eyes and hear a soft, "Sleep well, lovely."

"Sweet dreams, Billy," I mumble as I drift off.