My Life Without You

Chapter 3: That Night

August 14, 2019

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone... Or something like that— If you knew my
story you wouldn't judge me. Whether I turn out to be a Victim or if I turn out to be a survivor, that won't define who I am— For I am neither.

—-Val

Valerie fills the pages of her journal up with words she has not said or written since her wedding day. Seeing Romelle sent shock waves down her spine. She feels overwhelmed and confused. Why did she have to see him last week? Why did he have to look and smell so damn good? That cool, strong smell of sexy— she was paralyzed the moment she caught a whiff. Cool Water Cologne—a scent that always peeks her arousal. It smells clean, refreshingly light with a hint of strength that she'll never forget. That's Ro's scent and she will  forever be emotionally cuffed to.

I'm married, she thought to herself. But who am I kidding? I'll always love him...

Seeing Romelle was a surprise. She had always had thoughts of him, wondering where he was at? And what he was doing? Thoughts of him never went away. After having Nairobi, thinking of him was overwhelming. Thoughts of him lingering in her mind, seemingly like forever, as she thought of his scent, the way he always comforted her when she was sad, his funny way of making her laugh through difficult moments, the way his gentle hands caressed her body, and the way they use to kiss so passionately.

Too much came rushing back in all at once. How can I tell him about our daughter? How would he feel knowing that I didn't get an abortion? I never could go through with it... Her head feels like heavy bricks. The pounding headache won't go away. Too many thoughts—too many emotions. She shares something special with Romelle.

The afternoon feels hot and muggy. The sun gleams upon the tall apple tree she has in her back yard that stands adjacent to her flower bed. The flower bed is full of rose pink tulips that are fully blossomed—yellow and white gardenias, and red roses make her yard colorful. The hunter-green grass and flowers have just been sprinkled with water earlier before the sun rose, to ensure that the grass would not burn from the blazing heat. Valerie takes pride in her yard. She has a lawn company come once a month to manicure it and pull the weeds up. She gazes at the purple, and yellow-tinged butterfly as it lands on her rose-pink tulips. The strong-fragrant scent of tulips and gardenias always attracts such beautiful butterflies.

Val sits on her patio deck, staring at her kids playing in the swimming pool with their dad. Rick is splashing Noah and Nairobi with the water as they swim with their inflatable swim ring, tossing their beach ball back and forth across the water.

"Throw me the ball dad," Noah yells out.

Throwing the beach ball at Noah, Rick sends a wave of splashing water with it.

"Daddy, stop! Why you do that?" Noah cries.

"Do what?" Rick begins laughing at his son.

"Splash me with so much water daddy. Now I can't see! You got water in my eyes," Noah
says whimpering.

"Ohhh, poor baby, Nairobi remarks laughing at her brother."

"Shut up daddy's girl!" Noah snaps with a thrust of water towards his sister.

"You shut up. You cry baby!" With a wave of water, they both begin to have a water fight. "Noah's a cry baby!" Nairobi say, teasing him over and over.

Tossing the beach ball back and forth, splashing water at each other, and paddling from one part of the four foot deep pool to another, gives way to the sounds of summer-time fun.