My Life Without You

Chapter 16: Self-Care

March 8, 2020

"My stomach is huge honestly. I have to sleep sitting up now, cause I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I try to lie on my back or my sides. I can't zip my coat. I can't even see my feet, not to mention tie my shoes. It's like I have 10 basketballs in my stomach. I was not this big with Nairobi," Valerie explains to Romelle over the phone.

Romelle is in Georgia. This time for four weeks. He had told Valerie as soon as he found out he would have to go in for an assigned mission in the field. He would be out by the time she had her next appointment with the doctor. "You can't be that much bigger, I just saw you not that long ago."

"That was three weeks ago. Trust me, I'm much bigger now. I look like a whale," she added.

"I wish I could face-time you. But right now, you know how it is. I'm barely getting a signal out here. Every time I try, it says reconnecting."

"It's fine," Val replies.

"Well, you're thirty weeks now," Ro said. His voice full of joy. "How have you been feeling? How's the heartburn?"

"It's getting worse. I literally take Pepcid tablets all day everyday. And my stomach feels so tight and itchy."

"Why is that?" Ro asked.

"My doctor said it's because my stomach is so really big and stretched out. So it's normal to feel tightness and she gave me a script I had to fill for the itchiness." The clock chimes seven o'clock.

"I just love that sound. Every time I hear your clock, it reminds me of church bells," Romelle said.

"It does?" Val replies as she straightens her back some on the couch.

"Of course it does. Remember when mom used to take us to church when we was teenagers?"

"Yeah, I do," Val replies. She twirls her hair with her finger with her finger.

"We use to every time they had a service..." He trails off.

"Who would've..."

"What?" Romelle asked. "Who would've what?"

"Nothing." Valerie just stared at her daughter on the couch as she watched her cartoons.

"Who would've thought we would have had children together?" Romelle said softly.

"Yeah," Val replied in a whisper.

"My mom," Romelle answers. "My mom knew we would. She use to always say we were perfect together."

Val brows fringed together. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"And what did you say when she said that?" Val questioned. She had stopped twirling her hair. He had her full attention. She waits for him to answer. The silence on the phone made her feel anxious. "Ro, what did you say?"

"I agreed with her."

Valerie had no idea he felt that way about her when they were teenagers. She knew he was her best friend, but so many girls liked him back then and he was popular on the basketball and football team. She was shocked when he asked her out on a real date when they were seniors. She always felt like she wasn't good enough for him--That he could do better.

"Hey, where's my little girl at?"

Val knew that Ro wanted to change the subject. Ever since she told him she was married, he tries his best to respect her boundaries. She knows he's still hurt, angry even. He tries to keep their conversation about their daughter. Anytime it looks like they are about to reminisce about the past, he shuts down and changes the topic. "She's right here, watching cartoons on the floor," she finally said.