My Life Without You

Chapter 15: My Whole Heart {Continued}

Valerie has enjoyed a long-hot shower. She has already slipped into her nightgown and is done with her body lotion. Walking down the hallway,  Valerie looks in on Nairobi one last time. As she begins to close her bed room door, she blows a goodnight kiss. The bed is turned down and she grabs her journal and pen off of her night stand to write her thoughts down.

Dear Diary,

Today was a good day. I actually loved spending time with Nairobi and Ro. They way Nairobi smiled as she opened each present from us, and the way Ro gleamed with so much love, just melted my heart. It was truly an endearing sight. I know that he is thankful for her, and I know he is also thankful for being a father. It shows every time he ask me how we are doing. Not a day goes by that he is not calling me. Checking on me, our daughter and the baby. He is actual so full of excitement. He keeps saying how he is ready for the baby to come. He of course don't want me to have the baby earlier. But he is eager to get this part over with so he can hold his baby. He says he don't care what the sex is, as long as the baby is healthy. But when he said that earlier today, I just looked at him without saying a word. I know all men want little boys to raise. I know that he has a girl already, so I know he secretively wants a boy now.

Speaking of earlier today. Why the heck did Rick just show up without calling? What makes it so suspecious, he came late and he didn't have Noah. Now granted this is his house, and he can come if he please. But he usually calls, and he always come so we can see Noah. Now the day I tell him that Romelle would be over to spend time with Nairobi because I didn't want to split our time on Christmas, he decides to show up. I think it was just to see Ro. Like what the heck he wanna see him for? We weren't doing anything and matter fact, Ro was loading the dishes when Rick came over. Ro asked to speak with me, talking about we need to talk. He could've called me. Anyway, Ro told me goodnight and then left to give me and Rick some privacy.

Rick asked me why was Ro still here. I told him that Ro was helping me clean the kitchen as he could see. I told him he sweep the kitchen floor, wiped down the counters and stove, and then he loaded the dishwasher. It seemed like he only came over to see what I was doing, asking me a million questions like, was Ro here when Nairobi woke up, what time did he come over, what did we talk about, what did we do, what was his plans concerning the baby? As if he don't already know. I told him that Ro knows I'm keeping the baby and that he wants to be in his child's life. Then he asked was him and I getting back together. I just felt bombarded my too many questions at that point. That was not the right time to talk about us nor about any future plans that I have. So, he basically told me he will give me more time to think but that I needed to let him know soon. Well... That's like him trying to control me. I already know what I want to do, but today was not the time to address it.

Anyways, I'm exhausted. The main thing is my daughter was happy. She had a time today with her dad.

~Val

Val rubs her stomach as she says a prayer over her baby, before she drifts off to sleep.

********

January had come and gone fast. Michigan was experiencing snow storms after snow storms. The weather reports had predicted this though, saying this will be one of the ugliest winters that Michigan has seen in a long time. Schools have been closed off and on due to the bad weather. Valerie has been very cautious on taking her daughter to school. She doesn't want to get into an accident--the anxiety and pictures of the mother of two who lost her life during a car accident still haunts her every time she has to drive. Romelle has been working as a recruiter since he's been home and because he is in the reserves, he leaves out for Washington once a month to report in.