Everything is Shitty

Chapter Eight - First Date [Part One]

Stan
    It's been a few days since the initial night, so I think I can ask him on that date now. Since we're both working it'll be easy. Craig has been acting strange since that night, so I hope he agrees to go with me.
    I knock on his office door, which is open. He just looks back and sighs.
    "Yes, Marsh?" He asks, I can tell he's not meaning to be that harsh.
   "Hey, uh... I was just.. wondering... would you maybe want to go on a date with me?" I ask, he sits there for a moment, contemplating it, the longer he waits the more anxious I get, and the more vomit-y I feel.
   He actually smiles at me, and it's one that's maintained. "I'd like that." He turns back to his work. That's it? No proper planning?
    "So... eight-thirty work for you?" I ask
   "I'm not off till nine." He answers
   "Nine-thirty?" I re-suggest, and I just see a nod from him. "Alright. I'll see you then." I smile lightly and go back to doing my job. Which, it's dead. There's nothing for me to do. That was such a casual asking... Jesus Christ...
When I get off, I go home and instantly start preparing, and planning. I suppose that's what he wants me to do. I don't know how casual this should be, I just know it shouldn't be way too formal, or way too causal. Dinner and a- fuck it'll be nine thirty... we'll get something if he's hungry. Maybe just go for ice cream and sit at Stark's pond again? Or a movie? What's playing- does he even like movies? Why am I putting so much thought into this? It's Craig Tucker. I doubt he'll give a shit... but what if he does? Ugh.

Craig
I've gotta move on from Tweek... he made it obvious he doesn't want me, and doesn't feel the same way anymore, and I shouldn't give up love because some spaz doesn't want me... I've gotta go on this date. I'll open my heart to him... to another man. Tweek doesn't deserve to know, about any of this. About any of me. Stan is my chance to get over Tweek.
    Once I get off work I hurry home to change into some decent clothes. I then get my phone out and text Stan.

[Craig Tucker]
>Where should I meet you?

He responds almost instantly

[Stan Marsh]
>Nowhere, I'm coming to get you.

I sigh and sit on the couch. God this couch is disgusting. I swear Clyde never leaves it. He looks at me and smiles
"What are you all dressed for this late?" He asks
"I'm going on a date." I answer.
"With Stan?!" He exclaims with a smile that just keeps getting wider
"Yeah." I answer
"Oh my god! Are you finally gonna fuck him?!" Clyde exclaims.
"No." I state "who fucks on the first date?" I ask, and Clyde raises his hand
   "Of course you do." I add as I get up. Hearing a knock on the door as I do. I get it and see Stan there with a bouquet of flowers. I feel my heart begin pumping faster, and I put my hand over it
"Hey, I got you a little something." He says, I can't tear my eyes from them. Eventually, I realize I've been staring too long, so I carefully reach my hand out to take them. I never knew how much flowers could mean to someone. These are blue and red. I give him a soft smile and motion for him to come inside. Clyde looks at us and notices the flowers.
"Aww Stan that's so sweet!" He exclaims, but we both ignore him. I take the flowers and put them in a tall water glass. I then look at him and give him another one of my smiles as I hug him. I really feel like crying. It's the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. Well, the nicest because I allowed it to be.
"You ready to go?" Stan asks as he hugs me back. I nod against him, but I don't wanna let go yet. He's comfortable and I never thought I would've gotten this comfort back... and I don't want him to leave the moment I let go.
    "Alright, let go..." He says softly "We can hug some more later." He messes with my hair and I pull away. I smile lightly and follow him out to his car. He opens my door for me and I get in. I don't know why I'm so... like this with him...
    "Where are we going?" I ask
    He smiles in return "You'll see." I stay silent and take that as an answer. He's got soft music playing on the stereo. Probably to set some sort of mood.
When we get there. He gets my door for me again. I kinda hate when people open doors for me, but I won't mind it. Stan is just being a gentleman. When we get out, I notice a forest ahead of us. I look at it, then at him.
"We aren't going in there, are we?" I ask
He nods in response and holds his hand out. "I'll guide you."
I nod and take his hand. I'll trust him. He leads up to a little secluded part of the forest. There's a blanket on the ground, another folded up on bedside it along with a picnic basket. It's a beautiful looking area. Fairy lights connected to a power generator to give it some light. I look around, taking it all in, it's wonderful... he sits on the blanket and motions for me to come join him, so I do. He takes my hand and kisses it, and I feel my heart flutter.
"Thank you... for coming out here with me." Stan says
I squeeze his hands "Thank you." I state "I.... messaged Tweek a few nights ago." I add
Stan looks a bit nervous, but nods and rubs his thumb against my hands. "Yeah? And?" He asks
"He's over me. Said I was a shit boyfriend and told me to move on..." I sigh, and look down.
"What did you tell him?" He asks
"I said i missed him... and he said he was single... so I asked if there was a chance things could be rekindled... but he told me he was in Berlin and there are better people for him than a shit boyfriend." I sigh "and... I realized that... I've gotta just move forward without him in my life... and I have to... continue to pursue what I've got going with you, because... of how you make me feel... and I think this may be my last chance to have any sort of love life..." I admit "And I want to put all my trust in you... because if I push this away... if I push us away... then I'm losing any chance I have at getting happiness back..." that's the most I've said in a long time, but Stan just sits and listens, nodding... I don't know if he's listening... but I hope so... he cups my cheek, and I don't stop him.
"Craig... people like Tweek don't deserve you." He starts "Tweek doesn't know you anymore. The moment he broke up with you he forgot who you were and stopped caring about you. He doesn't deserve you..." he rubs his thumb against my cheek.
"I'm afraid... I don't want to be a shit boyfriend to you too.." I put my forehead against his. "I'm scared of feeling this way again... of letting anyone in... because if I do, I'm not gonna be good enough... they're gonna leave again..." I close my eyes so tears don't come out.
I'm shifted, I don't open my eyes but I can feel my head against his chest, and his arms protectively around me.
"But that doesn't mean you should just push it away... people walk into your life the same way they walk right out it. Sometimes it's just the cashier at the store and sometimes it's someone who's gonna mean a lot to you." He sighs "And sometimes, they stick around, they stick by you through it all, and they see your highest highs and lowest lows, but it's all just a part of life." He messes with my hair. Just playing with it very carefully. "The people that walk out of your life aren't good enough to be there in the first place, and those who stay, those who are willing to battle with you, are the ones who deserve your love, trust, and loyalty." He says, I nod against his chest and sigh
    "But... how do I know if they're gonna stay or go?" I ask, the wonder of a child lacing in my voice.
    "You don't. That's the interesting part of life. If we just knew who would be good and who would stay in our lives then we wouldn't make any mistakes with them, and we wouldn't learn from them..."
      I sigh and try my best to relax in his comforting embrace "Are you gonna stay with me?" I ask
    There's a brief pause, but soon I hear his voice once again "I'm gonna try my best to" He answers