Leave the Light On

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Author's Note: This is set at the end of season 3, I recently found it and thought I'd fix it up.

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"What's your deal?" Stone growled when she started to turn around and leave the room when she saw him in it.

That did it, she turned around and stared at him. "My deal? You're the one who left without saying goodbye! While I was recovering from brain surgery!"

"Well to be honest, Cassie, I didn't think you even noticed I was gone," Jacob mumbled.

"What is that supposed to mean? Of course, I noticed. It's not like we were just co-workers."

"Oh?"Jacob jumped up from his chair. "Yeah, I thought we were more than that too. But apparently it was just sex to you!"

"Are you, were you jealous of Jenkins and Estrella? I thought we had an arrangement."

"Oh right," Jacob rolled his eyes. "Friends with benefits." He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Cassie, I don't give a damn who else you sleep with. We had an arrangement. No strings, that's what you wanted."

"Then why are you so pissed?"

"Because it was the friends part, Cassandra! I thought we were friends, really good friends and it turns out I was just a damn bed buddy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why was I the last to know about how sick you were?"

"You weren't, I mean I didn't tell . . . ."

"You told Estrella."

"She was a stranger, I needed to confide in someone. As for Jenkins, apparently I dropped the doctor's card and he poked his nose in."

"So you were just going to die then?"

"No, I was . . .I don't know, okay? I was terrified. Frozen, all my good sense went out the window."

"I heard Jenkins talking to you before you went in. Everything he said, goes double for me. Never ever lie to me again, Cassandra. Never."

Cassandra gulped at the fire in his eyes. "Everything he said?"

Stone stared at her, pinning her to the spot with the weight of his emotions. "I love you, god damn it. I went away to try to put that back to the way Jenkins loves you. But I don't think I did it. Look, I know you don't love me, so don't . . . .don't try to spare my feelings or anything. But whatever we had? It's done, okay? I can't just be a hookup anymore." He turned away and walked toward the door.

"Jacob, wait," Cassandra reached out and put her hand on his arm. "I was scared, like I said. Not thinking very clearly, I'm sure my brain wasn't . . . but I can't negate my feelings for Estrella or for Jenkins. Or for you for that matter."

He didn't look at her. "I seemed to be an afterthought."

"That's not true at all. What do Jenkins and Estrella have in common?"

This time Jacob did turn to look at her, something like realization dawning in his eyes. "They're immortal or mostly. They've lost people before. But Cassie, I've lost people before too, you know?"

"I know, but I was . . .you'll never understand, Jacob because I hope you never ever ever get as sick as I was. Okay? I can't explain but all I can say is that you mean far more to me than you think you do. I do love you, I do. I do."

"But not the way I love you, sweetheart and I just. . . .I can live with that, but I can't kiss you, make love to you, knowing that I'm the only one who feels it."

"I understand . . .but Jacob . . .don't count me out completely, okay? Not everything I feel for you is strictly friendship. It never was, it never will be. You've always been more. And I know . . .I know we could have something . . . ."

Tears were rolling down Cassandra's face and they were stinging Jacob's eyes but neither one of them cared when he pulled her to him and kissed her. Soft, gentle, tender kisses, almost goodbye kisses but this wasn't goodbye forever, just for now.

"We would be amazing . . ." he finally whispered as they parted, his arms still around her and his forehead against hers. "And you're not the only one who's scared. I almost told you how I felt when I knew you were gonna live. But I ran."

"We both ran. Give me some time, Jacob, we have that now. I've never had time before and I need to come to terms with who I am now. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, you're not the only one . . . .I'll tell you later. I should, we should probably go get changed for Charlene's ceremony, huh?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just remember I do love you, always will."

He searched her eyes and something in them caused him to smile. He dropped one last gentle kiss on her lips. "See whoever you want, okay? But someday, you're gonna come home to me. I'll leave the light on."

And with that, he turned and walked out of the room. Cassandra smiled.

Not long ago, a promise like that would have caused her to run a thousand miles in the other direction. But now? She had time. Maybe it would be weeks, maybe it would be years, but Jacob Stone was a man of his word.

He'd leave the light on for her. So in the corner of her mind dedicated to all things Jacob Stone, she flipped a light on for him too.


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