Philophobia (prucan because I'm a sucker)

The End Is Near

*this is it my friends, the last chapter. Probably. After this chapter I will be releasing a farewell chapter, where I say hello to my grandma who will almost definitely ask to read this and send several apologies to the poor woman. T/W cutting, suicide, and a shit. Ton. Of feels. Gilbert pov*

I tried to hold in my tears until he left, I couldn't let him know how much this was hurting me, I had to be strong.

I was weak though, I wasn't able to stand up to Caleb, I couldn't defend Matthew from the person I always said I would protect him from, I couldn't even hold myself together when he left me.

I cried all that night, there was no sleep, just tears and thoughts of him.

The next few days I spent in my sulking. Ludwig had come home and kept trying to check on me and ask me what was wrong, even Feli came by a few times and knocked on my door.

I kept it locked though, as tempting as it was to just break down and cry on someone's shoulder, I couldn't let anyone see me like this.

How did Caleb even find out about us dating? I never told anyone about it, though I'm pretty sure Ludwig thought we were together from the beginning, but he wouldnt've told Caleb that, even he hated Caleb, he knew how horrible he was. But would our parents tell him? They didn't believe me when I told them what he did, and there's no way Ludwig would hide something like me dating Matthew from them. There was almost nothing else it could be, unless someone Caleb was close with saw us together?

Shit what about that guy who tried to assult Mattie that night at the bar?!

It made sense! Even my parent don't just go around telling people that I'm dating someone unless I say they can. And they would've confronted me about it sooner if they knew.

And that guy at the bar seemed lkke the kind of guy to have connections to Caleb.

It could've been someone else but I was almost certain it was him.

Knock knock knock

"Gilbert. You need to come out! It's been two days since you left your room, you should be starving!" I heard my brother yell with his thick German accent.

Now that I thought about it I was really hungry. I hadn't been taking care of myself at all since Matthew, I just hadn't seen the point.

"Yeah. Yeah okay."

I dragged myself to my feet and unlocked the door.

"Good god, Gilbert. What happened to you? I've never seen you this much of a mess."

I collapsed into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"He's gone, Luddy, He left me. I don't know what to do without him."

"Well you're not going to get anywhere doing this. Let's get you something to eat."

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*Time skip of like ten mins, still Prussia*

Ludwig gave me a bowl of soup that he had reheated. I appreciated it but It was too hard to eat. I had way too much on my mind to enjoy a meal.