words | one shots

hate comments

unattractive.

weird nipples.

just another talentless muser.

clout chaser.

spoiled rich kid.

too sexual with fans.

should've stick with lip syncing.

fake towards his fans.

     these were just a few of the things people had written on social media. johnny orlando was in his bed, scrolling through hate comments about him on his recent post. one that really got to him was one that said, "nobody likes you. your music sucks and you're so ugly, idek why you're popular. there are so much better people out there. you deserve nothing. go die or something." he usually didn't pay attention to hate and focused on the positive comments. he used his haters to motivate him and he loved to prove people wrong. prove that's he's more than just a muser.

     he was very passionate about his music and worked extremely hard to create catchy songs. every word he sang came from the heart. every lyric he wrote had a meaning behind it. every song he released had so much effort put into it. if only everyone could see that. he wished more people would take him seriously. he wished people could see that he truly loved his career and wouldn't give up his fans for anything. fake towards his fans? johnny could never. sure he might be more filtered around them, but he tried to be as open as he could. he cared a lot for his fans and considered them his friends. he wouldn't be anywhere without them, and he was grateful for all the support he's gotten. all the kind, loving comments made johnny's heart fill with joy.

     but one negative comment could make johnny doubt himself sometimes. was he too cringy? was he too nice? was his music really that bad? what if people only support him for his looks? not that he looked that great anyways. his eyebrows were too big and his nipples looked unusual. he was too thin. his body was hideous. his hair was always a mess and he had no style. his music sucked. he couldn't sing at all. he was just another irrelevant muser. well, that's what people said. johnny didn't get hateful comments too often, but when he did read them, they knocked his self esteem down just a little bit. then he would think about all of his followers who loved him so dearly. he would think about his close friends and all the fun they've had together. he would think about his annoying sisters and embarrassing parents that he would do anything for. all these important people in his life made him so, so happy.

    johnny had a great life. he was pretty successful for a 16 year old and he had such a sweet fan base. he had family and friends that supported him 100% and would always love him. he had a nice home, plenty of food, two adorable dogs, money, and an education. he lived in canada, one of the nicest countries in the world. he also lived in la where he had so many opportunities. he had what most people wanted.

then why was he so sad?

     johnny felt bad when he would cry sometimes. there are people dying, he would tell himself. most of the time, he didn't even know what was wrong. he didn't drop his ice cream. he didn't watch endgame. he didn't break up with anyone. he was just sad.

    he remembers the days when younger and would upload videos on his channel. he had so much fun filming them and was very excited to see what his fans would think. he wondered if they would enjoy watching the video as much as he had enjoyed creating them. one day, he took a peek at the comments to get some feedback.

     one said, "great job, johnny o! i love your videos so much! sending love from india! <3" he smiled at that. what a nice comment! he scrolled through some more comments. he even laughed at some! as johnny got deeper into the comment section, he would find some not so nice comments. some of them made fun of his hair. some told him he talked funny. others said that his clothes were lame and his videos sucked. one of them read, "ugh you're so cringe and your beanies are ugly. you're ugly."

     his cute grin turned into a slight frown. he liked the way he did his hair and the way he dressed. he was obsessed with beanies and loved wearing them. he put a lot of work into his videos for his fans to enjoy. why wasn't that good enough? johnny held his head in his hands, hesitating before he threw his beanie on the ground in frustration. he turned his head to look at it and stared at the dark beanie laying on the ground. he wanted to pick it up, but stopped himself. the beanie is stupid anyways. stupid beanie.

     he decided that he'd read enough comments for the day. he closed his laptop and dropped himself onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. he thought about the way he looked. why did he have to be so short and ugly? his wardrobe wasn't helping either. he wanted to burn his clothes. he took out his phone and looked at pictures of himself. am i really that unattractive?

     that was years ago. johnny grew up and learned not to let hate get to him too much. yeah, the words did hurt, but these words weren't important. why was he so focused on a stranger's comment? he had so many people who supported him. so many people who loved him. he felt good about himself and his music. he was very proud of himself.

then why was he letting a stranger's words tear him apart?

     he didn't understand what was wrong with him. he didn't let hate get to him this much. he was better than that. what's so different about that comment? he let out a big sigh.

why do i even try?

     he was tired of feeling upset. he was tired of the comments causing him to doubt himself. he was tired of being up all night questioning his choice to continue singing. he was tired of everything.

     the door opened.

     "johnny, get dressed. you, lauren, maddie, and i are going out for lunch!" darian stood at the doorway, eyeing him.

     "i'll be ready in a few minutes!" he replied. he smiled at her before waving, implying that he wanted darian to leave. she started to close the door and hesitated before entering his room.

     "what are you-"

     johnny was interrupted by a tight hug. darian smiled at him. it was the smile of an older sister who loved her brother deeply and didn't enjoy seeing him unhappy.

     "hey," she said. "look at me."

     he looked up at her, confused. why was she being so nice? why wasn't she being her usual annoying self?

     "what?"

     "you're an amazing person. everything will be fine. i love you."

     she smiled at him one last time before leaving. he watched as she left, still a little confused, but feeling better than he did before. johnny smiled as darian's words played over and over in his head, like an ipod stuck on replay.

you're an amazing person. everything will be fine.

•••

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