Know You All Over Again

Chapter 20

“So what time do we have be there again?” He sounds so nervous, it almost breaks my heart. 

“The nurse said that the test results would be in at 3 this afternoon.” I smile at him, desperately trying to hide the fact that I am petrified. 

Today is the day. 

Today Knock and me will find out the outcome of his overall test results. 

It's been 28 very long days. And with every day passing Knock just seemed to be even more on edge. But who can blame him? I am sure I wouldn't react any different. 

“So anything you wanna do until then?” I ask him with voice that is just tiny bit too cheery to be real, but Knock is so deep in  his own thoughts he doesn't even notice. 

“Hm?” He looks up from his breakfast bagel that he hasn't even touched yet. We both have taken the day off, because let's face it. Neither of us would be able to do any decent work today. No chance in hell. 

“I asked what you wanna do until this afternoon.” I am trying to sound as calm and confident as I can, but underneath all the outside bravado there is just raw fear waiting for the right moment to overwhelm me. 

“I don't know.” He is again concentrating on his breakfast plate, moving the food around more then even attempting to eat it. 

“Babe, you need to eat something.” I say while laying my hand on his. 

“I am not hungry.” He mumbles. 

“Sometimes you need to eat even if you are not hungry.” I try not to sound like an overbearing parent right now, but it's so hard. 

I know he needs to eat. He will need all his strength today, just to make it through everything. But Knock is not even answering anymore. 

“Okay, if you eat this bagel, you can decided what we watch tonight on telly.” 

I sigh a bit, knowing full well that I will have to suffer through a whole evening of watching some crappy wrestling show I have no idea about. But if it makes him eat, I am willing to endure an evening of mindless violence. And it seems like my bait is working. Knock is looking up now and his eyebrow is raised. 

“I am listening...” He says with an intrigued voice. 

“Well, that's the offer. Bagel versus couch commando.” 

I have trouble containing the grin that is about to spill on my face. Some things will never change. And getting Knock to do something is like trying to motivate a 5 years old to clean their room. 

“A whole bagel for one evening? Nah, that offer is waaaaay too weak, Mister.” 

And finally his face changes from all stressed out to a tiny bit of mischievous, a small smile waiting in the corner of his mouth. 

“So what else do you want?” I sigh again, knowing full well that this is going to end in a full blown negotiation now. 

But as long as it's taking his mind of the appointment for a second and makes him eat, I am happy. Right now I would be willing to even put on a clown's wig and ride around on a unicycle just to make him smile a little bit. 

“I think couch commando for an evening is maybe a quarter of a bagel. If even that.” 

The smile has now finally reached his lips and I can feel my heart flutter. 

Shit, just one smile of his has still such an effect on me. I have no clue what I am going to do should I ever loose this smile. I have no idea at all. I am sure I will wither like a bloody flower.