Know You All Over Again

Chapter 3

His lips feel so hot on my skin that I am afraid I might be bursting into flames at any second. His hand is on my neck and it feels like I can finally breath again after months of suffocating.

He moves just further down, his kisses on my skin. The wet trails he leaves are all going down in one direction and I can't wait for it to reach it's final goal. I am almost giddy with anticipation.

I know that this is not good, but I can't help it. He hot breath on my body is making all reasoning go out of the window.

For the first time in a long time I feel complete again. I am totally engulfed by him, his smell, his warmth, his love. And I am going to cling onto it like a drowning man to a life raft. I need him so bad and I need him right now....

…...

The awkwardness between us is slowly leaving the room. We are still sitting next to each other, me playing Fifa against Cho, but instead of Yiwah and Korn just talking with each other, they are now completely involved in our game and have started cheering for us a while ago.

When Korn gave me the first encouraging slap on the back it felt so weird and somehow wrong, but it just took a tiny moment for us to fall into our old roles again. Best friends, lovers, partners.

And even though it breaks my heart to see how easy everything could be if I just could forget everything what happened, it feels like a little mini vacation from the nightmare my life is currently looking like.

So I am just letting this happen. I can't fight it anymore. And here he is. In all his glory. The man that still holds my heart, even though I wished he didn't.

It is just so easy. It's like it was before. Us four hanging out together, doing stupid stuff and just chill out. I have missed this so much. I wasn't even aware how much I did. But now, sitting here with them together, it feels like I can smile, like properly smile for the first time in ages.

It is just comfortable. Like an old sweater maybe. Comfortable and warm.

But as any old sweater, I know that it has to end eventually. There is just no lifetime guaranty for sweaters or relationships, I guess. Only for a little while longer. Maybe just another hour and I can go back to being miserable. But for now I just want to enjoy the warmth and this incredible feeling of home he gives me.

I am trying to concentrate on the game, but I am not doing the best of jobs here. His presence, as much as it comforts me, is also stirring something else in me.

Every once in a while I am trying to catch a little glimpse of the man next to me. He is too focused on everything going on, so he doesn't notice me ogling him like a crazy person.

But for some reason it seems I have forgotten how beautiful he actually is. He looks a bit paler and thinner then he did before. But the white skin is contrasting so much with his black hair, that he almost glows.  The white is just making the blackness of his eyes appear even deeper.

The few times I can catch a look of his smile I can feel my heart almost exploding in my chest. He is still the most perfect human I have ever laid eyes on. There is no question about that. He is just so...

Just looking at him is exciting and torturing me with the same amount.

I will never again be able to touch his skin... To drive my fingers over all these well defined muscle... To kiss these soft lips... My heart feels like breaking all over again.

I am trying to focus again on the game, but then Korn just moves slightly to get to his beer bottle and with this tiny movement a whiff of his cologne is blowing in my direction. And all my focus is gone again within a second.