In a Pool of Blood

Chapter 3

Lindsey wanted Gerard to stay with her so badly. She wanted to just lock him in her apartment forever because she knew once he left, that Jed would somehow get back in his good graces. And Jed knew better then to show his face around her house. Lindsey had rattled Jed's cage more times then he would care to admit to. She was a sweet looking rebellious girl but boy did she pack a fucking punch.

She truly loved Gerard. Not like that, Lindsey herself was a lesbian. But she felt that they had a connection that went deeper than romance ever would. She called them 'kindred spirits'.

She knew what was about to happen. Gerard had been painting for about three hours and his piece looked like it was almost finished. He would thank her, offer to let her keep his art which she sometimes did. Lindsey would feed him and off he would go, most likely back to Jed. The worst part was she didn't have time to argue with him about it tonight because she had to be at the club in a few hours.

Lindsey was one of the more popular dancers so on top of tips she made, the club also gave her a nightly "fee" just for coming. She had a lot of loyal customers and the club learned that their liquor profits were up nearly 40% on the nights she danced. Being the more popular dancer, she had her pick of time slots and she always picked prime times. She didn't have to dance until later in the night but she liked to have plenty of time to get ready and stretch. She was a stripper but took her job seriously, especially when she could clear over 10k a week if she wanted to.

Right on queue, Gerard grabbed a paper towel and began wiping his hands. Lindsey took this as her time to get up and see his work. It looked like a nighttime scene with a young boy sprawled out on the middle of the road, left for dead.

"I call it the lost boy" Gerard said softly. Lindsey was definitely concerned about his mental state now.

"It's hauntingly beautiful" she replied. "Can I ask? Who is the boy?"

Gerard shrugged. "Just a nameless boy. He blends into the crowd". Lindsey nodded and left it alone

"Are you hungry? My mom came by the other day and we made a bunch of lasagna". Gerard's eyes lit up. Lindsey and her mom were like best friends and they cooked like no other. It made Gerard miss his father. They hadn't spoken in so long.

"Please" he breathed out. That's how the two friends sat at Lindsey's dining room table, eating and laughing.

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Gerard knew Lindsey had to work and he didn't want to be a bother even though she told him repeatedly he could stay. After their meal together, he left, walking towards a local park. Gerard didn't want to go home even though he was pretty certain Jed wasn't there anyway. He sat on a bench, a little ways away from the playground and watched the kids playing. Gerard envied then. Their youth, their carefree demeanor. He hoped life wouldn't fuck them over like it seemed to do him.

But Gerard also knew his life didn't fuck him over, he did that all by himself. He cut off ties with his father and disappeared. He has a drug dealing abusive boyfriend who treats him like garbage. He has so many ways to get out of this life yet he doesn't want to. Deep down Gerard felt like it was his fault that Frank left so therefore he deserved everything he got.

He deserved to be beaten by Jed so hard that he ended up blacking out in a strange alley left to practically crawl home. Deserved to nearly OD on drugs more times than he cared to admit. Deserved to be unhappy.

Gerard didn't want to think about Frank, didn't want to think about his large tattooed hands running over another mans body. He wasn't a total dick hoping Frank was miserable but he definitely didn't want to think about him being happy.

Just as tears began to well up in his eyes,  someone in a dark blue jacket sits on the other end of the bench. Gerard doesn't have to look up to know who it is and he bites back the tears that are threatening to spill out. He doesn't like to let people see him cry, at least not since Frank.

"Gee ..." the person next to him spoke. He turned his head to see his moronic boyfriend Jed, looking guilty. "What are you doing out here by yourself? And with no coat? You're going to get a cold" Jed said as he pulled his jacket off and draped it over Gerard's shoulders. It was warm and he badly wanted to wrap up in it but this was an act. This nice show of chivalry was all part of their game. A game that Gerard was slowly beginning to grow tired of.

After being certain his voice wouldn't shake or crack, Gerard finally spoke up. "You're so worried about me getting a cold or getting hurt but you weren't two weeks ago when you kicked me so hard in the stomach I couldn't get up off the cold concrete for like an hour".  Jed winced a little at Gerard's forwardness.

"Baby..." he sighed. "You know I don't mean to do those things to you. You just make me so angry. You know I love you so much". Gerard felt like he was going to vomit at the word love. He didn't love Jed and he knew Jed didn't love him yet he said things like this trying to make Gerard complacent.

"Can I make it up to you?" Jed asked. He already knew the answer. Gerard just shrugged. "Let's go see your friend at Candy Canes tonight" he said with a warm smile. Lindsey was a wonderful painter and sketcher, but Gerard felt her true art form was dance. He wasn't turned on by the motions, he was just entranced with the way her body moved, the poetic motions, the way her limbs portrayed emotion. Even though Gerard was really fucking gay, Jed was still jealous of his and Lindsey's relationship. Gerard would tell him he needed to be more concerned about the bouncers being attractive than the dancers but Jed never saw it that way.

Gerard looked up at Jed who for a genuine moment looked like he cared. He reached his hand out for Gerard to take it and after hesitating for a moment, he did. The two men walked hand in hand out of the park, both knowing their relationship was seriously fucked up but both not caring at that moment.