In a Pool of Blood

Chapter 12

"Dad" Gerard breathed out. His father looked a little older, a little more worn for the wear. But those hazel eyes still held all the warmth and love that he remembered.

"Gee" John whispered before quickly closing the gap between them and nearly crushing Gerard in a hug. Gerard didn't immediately react to the hug. Mostly because he was surprised and confused and even a little ashamed. But after a moment or two, he wrapped his thin arms around his father.

"Gerard, are you okay?" John said as he pulled back to inspect his son. Gerard had changed. He was terribly skinny and even more pale then normal but John kind of liked his red hair. It matched his normally eccentric personality. Gerard noticed tears in his father's eyes. He wasn't surrounded by mafia men, it was just him, Gerard, Frank and Ray and he felt like he could show his emotion freely.

Gerard couldn't speak, words being lost in his throat so he only managed to nod a little. John pulled Gerard back into another hug and the two men embraced each other for what seemed like an eternity.

John slowly led Gerard to a chair that had been pulled out as he lowered his body. John took the chair next to him and looked into his eyes sadly.

"Where have you been, Gee?" John asked softly. Gerard felt shame wash over himself as he thought about it. He had been many places, many cheap hotel rooms, scratchy beds, ugly plush carpets. Again he couldn't find the words so he only shrugged in response.

"How could you think you would ever be dead to me?" John asked barely above a whisper.

"Because you deserve so much better then me" Gerard spoke as a tear rolled down his cheek. John leaned forward and wiped it away with his thumb.

"You are many things, Gerard Arthur. But a disappointment isn't one of them". Gerard hung his head at his father's words. He always knew no matter what that John was in his corner and he was so selfish to push that away.

"Tell me. How are you feeling?" John tried to change the subject.

"B-better" Gerard croaked out. "Thanks to Frank."

Almost as if on queue Jeanie walked in with a large platter of French toast. The four men sat down and aside from some small talk, they ate in relative silence.

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After breakfast, , John pulled Frank aside before he left. Gerard hardly noticed them missing because Christa had shown up and brought sketch books and pencils.

"I think we did this wrong last time" John said quietly so Gerard wouldn't overhear. "We fought over him like a couple of kids fighting over a toy. I just want you to know that I give you both my blessing."

"Oh ... uh ... well we aren't really together" Frank stuttered.

"Not yet, perhaps" John smiled knowingly.

"Not ever most likely" Frank replied dejectedly.

"I see the way you look at him. He still is the world to you." Both men turned to look at Gerard who had now made himself comfortable on the plush den carpeting, a sketch pad in his lap, his brows furrowed and his tongue poking out in concentration.

"Just don't hurt him" John added. Frank only nodded, not sure what he should be thinking or what he would do next.

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Having Gerard feeling better was definitely a godsend for Frank. He was actually growing to hate the walls of his bedroom because they were starting to look like prison walls in his mind. He decided he would redecorate in the near future just so he wouldn't cringe every time he came back in.

Gerard had been with him for almost three weeks. He looked healthy and laughed all the time. He even put on a little weight. But Frank worried what the younger man thought of their relationship. It wasn't one, yet Gerard acted like they were. Maybe even secretly hoped. Frank was still in love with Gerard and would love to resume their relationship but he just couldn't shake the drug use and the kidnapping. He could feel himself growing attached to the young man again and he needed to do something to regain balance in his life.

"Hey Gee" Frank interrupted him sketching in the garden. "Can we talk?"

"Sure" he said, closing his sketchbook before Frank could get too close and see his work. Frank slumped down onto the ground next to him. The silence was awkward, for Frank anyway.

"I - don't take this the wrong way, I mean I love having you here but - when do you want to start looking for your own apartment?" He asked delicately. Gerard looked shocked. He loved being in Frank's home and getting to know Christa better.

"You don't want me here?" He whispered.

"It's not that I don't want you here it's just ... well your sober now and I think it's time to find a new normal for your life."

"You don't want to help me anymore?"

"This is me helping you, Gee. You've recuperated now it's time to stand back up. I'll help you find a place if you want but this is ultimately something you need to do."

Gerard nodded. "Sure" he laughed bitterly. "It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything."

Those words cut Frank deeper then he thought they would. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll probably have to move back in with my father" Gerard groaned. "I can't afford a place in the city myself."

"What about that ritzy art degree from that fancy art college you went to? Maybe it's time to put that to use".

Gerard just shrugged. He loved art but after college he purposely avoided a career with it because once it became a job, Gerard worried he wouldn't love it as much anymore. Frank patted him on the shoulder and stood up to leave.

"Why don't you love me?" Gerard whispered under his breath.

"What was that, Gee?"

"N-nothing" Gerard responded, internally grateful that Frank didn't hear. But Frank did hear, and if it wasn't for the absence of the distinct sound of a gun shot, he would have sworn he just took a bullet to the heart.