No Escape

Can't Get Any Worse

Two weeks had passed since the stunt -A had pulled and for some reason whoever was calling the shots on all the bad things in their lives had taken a break. It's been quiet, and the most Alison had to deal with were the questions she'd gotten from people from her week's absence. She'd already been gone two years, and now she was missing classes, too.

Nothing between her and Emily progressed, although she heard from Spencer that Paige and Emily had broken up just a few days prior. Alison wanted to ask about it during one of their lunches, but she thought she didn't have a right. Plus, she was trying this thing where she wasn't dominating any of the four girls. She would slip once in a while, but she'd always apologize privately to whoever she'd suddenly bitched to. She was trying to work on it, but the stress of anticipating what -A would do next was wearing her down.

in fact, she thought, as she sat with the girls during that particular lunch time, she'd been catching looks being exchanged between the four. She was out of it most of the time, because all her effort these past few weeks was put into staying attentive enough to what was happening around her to make it seem like nothing was wrong. But her sleeping schedule has been reduced to unintentional exhausted slips into unconsciousness, before she would scramble up realizing she'd fallen asleep. She was high on caffeine most of the time, trying to get through everyday with as little sleep as possibe.

She didn't want to be caught unconscious when -A struck next.

She took in a deep inhale as if the oxygen would wake her up more. She was tired, and the only reason she didn't look it was because she had mastered hiding the physical signs of sleep through makeup. She reached forward for the tumbler she'd recently bought so she could take at least three cups of coffee to school, and felt a hand wrap around hers to stop her movement.

She looked up to find Emily's worried eyes studying her. She ignored the warm feeling of Emily's hand on hers, and tried to think too much on the tingle that came with it. She was trying to avoid Emily because she knew that's what the brunette wanted. She was trying to be a good friend, and that usually meant being there for her friends, but when it came to Emily, and for the rest for that matter, being a good friend meant avoiding them.

"How much coffee have you had today?"

Ali shrugged. If she finished what was left of her tumblr, five cups, and it was just lunch time. She wasn't even hyper like how Spencer got because unlike Spencer, she didn't sleep. "Two?"

Emily's worried look shifted to one of exasperation. "Don't lie about this, too."

The comment stung, and it made her snatch her hand away from Emily's, forgetting about the coffee. Emily's words were enough to wake her up enough for this conversation. "Not enough," she snapped. She forcefully took the tumbler and chugged down what was left of it. Alison was tired. She was trying, really trying to be better now. And she knew she'd done a lot of shitty things to the girls, but they could cut her some slack. The fact that none of them believed she was capable of changing made everything twice as hard to do. And every night after all her effort to be better and she would realize that it always fall short of the girls' expectations, she would wish she didn't survive two weeks before. Everything was just unbearable at this point.

"Ali-" Spencer started.

"What?" Alison was just snapping at everyone now.

"Emily didn't mean anything by it."

A hollow laugh escaped Alison. "Of course not. It's not like you all believe I'm still the same old me, still trying to manipulate people by being the school bitch." When her words were met with barely concealed guilty faces, she shook her head. "I thought you guys would be there for me."

"You weren't for us. Not for the past three years."

Alison's eyes blanked as her gaze shifted to Emily again, who looked like she regreted the words as soon as they left her mouth.

"Alison, I'm-"

"Save it," she bit out, standing. She left them where they were and tried to avoid them as well as she could for the rest of the day. Spencer had driven her to school, so she had to walk home. She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked, because it was getting a little cold, and the occasional thunder wasn't reassuring her. And of course, to add to everything else that happened that day, it started to rain. Hard.

"Fuck." She started to walk faster, which didn't do much. She was already soaked, and walking faster wouldn't change the state she was in. The frustration got to her, and before she knew it she was crying. She refused to acknowledge the tears. She pursed her lips forcefully to stop them, but they just kept up coming.

"Ali!" Her head snapped towards the voice, and she instantly regretted not running to get home sooner. Emily had the car of her window down and she wore one of the two emotions she only saw on Emily lately. It was really only worry and several degrees of frustration. Right now it was worry.

"I'm fine," she replied, talking louder because of the rain.

Emily rolled her eyes. She reached over the passenger seat to open the door. "Get in! You'll get sick!"

Alison was still crying, and she had to reach deep down into whatever the hell it was that was still motivating her to live through everyday so she would repress the whimper that wanted to bubble up from her throat when she saw Emily reach over and open the door for her. She didn't want Emily to be nice to her. She wanted it to be clear cut. If Emily didn't want anything to do with her, Alison wanted her to be mean and angry. It would be easier to be mean and angry back. But Emily was never the kind of person to be vindictive.

So she took the offer, getting inside the car and mumbling a thank you. The heater of Emily's car was a blessing, and she hugged herself to keep warmer. She was already shivering.

"Here." Emily reached over towards her, handing Alison that jacket she had been wearing. Alison took out, draping it around her shoulders. She tried to ignore the scent that was unmistakably Emily. Alison closed her eyes. She had been trying to ignore a lot of things that were related to Emily lately. And it was just getting more and more difficult, especially when the universe wanted to conspire afainst her efforts by setting whatever the hell this was up.

When Emily stopped in front of her house, Alison took Emily's jacket off and handed it back to her. "Thanks for the ride. And the jacket. I'll pay for your next carwash," she added lamely, gesturing to the wet seat. Without waiting for a reply, she went out to the rain again, running towards her house.

She was trying to open her door with shivering hands when Emily appeared beside her, taking the keys from her to do it. "Let me," Emily said unnecessarily.

She opened the door, and looked up to Alison, motioning for the shorter girl to enter. But Alison just stared at Emily, as if seeing her for the first time. And she just stared with an emotion Emily couldn't quite place as she held the door open awkwardly. "Ali?"

Alison didn't know how long she stood motionless. When Emily called out her name she shook her head. "Sorry, I just- I missed you." Alison's eyes widened in shock at her own words and she strode inside, not knowing what else to do. She didn't know what was happening to her. She didn't know why she was acting like a teenager with a first crush. She was never like this. She was Alison Dilaurentis. She was cool and confident, not awkward and unsure.

Emily was frozen on Alison's porch still. That was the most genuine she'd seen of Alison in a very long while. Alison never showed uncertainty around anyone, not even to her. Emily tried to figure out if it was just an act, but the shock on Alison's face had looked too real, the embarrassed blush despite Alison being pale from the cold too authentic for that encounter to have been planned. Emily was about to go, put off figuring Alison out for another day as she had done for the past two weeks, when she realized that Alison was walking around the whole house, putting on all the lights. Emily's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and because the door was still open and Alison's keys were actually still with her, she entered.

A/N: Emison in the next chapter. Sorry, it's 2:30 in the morning where I'm at I'm really tired. Stay tuned for the next chapter!