No Escape

I Won't Let You Anymore

Emily woke up to a hand running itself repeatedly over her hair and she immediately realized that she wasn't supposed to have fallen asleep that night. The only thing that had stopped her from scrambling up was the hand moving to rest on her cheek.

"It's ok. I didn't fall asleep."

Emily looked up to find Alison's tired eyes, bags even more pronounced under her eyes. Those bags had disappeared already, Emily thought worriedly. She'd been able to help Alison sleep more the past few days. Just one event from -A and they were back again. She placed her hand over Alison's and closed her eyes, waiting for her system to catch up with the time. She took a deep inhale, and despite the strong smell of antiseptic, she could still smell something that was uniquely Alison. She turned her head, pressing her lips lightly to Alison's palm.

"I'm sorry for falling asleep." Her voice was still hoarse from sleep.

Alison shook her head. "You needed the rest."

Emily looked guiltier. "You needed it more."

Alison stayed silent, and the look she was giving Emily had the brunette sitting up. "What's wrong? What is it?"

Emily watched as Alison swallowed, and she seemed to struggle with something. She had to break eye contact, looking away to collect her thoughts. Emily couldn't help but notice that Alison looked pained.

"Ali?"

"I don't think it's safe to be around me."

Emily's eyebrows furrowed. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Emily, if we were in that house-"

"We weren't."

"Maybe you shouldn't be here."

"This is the only place I want to be in right now. You need me here. I need to be there for you!"

"Maybe you shouldn't! It's dangerous! I shouldn't have come back." Tears started to pool in Alison's eyes, and she withdrew her hand from Emily's, not able to make this decision if Emily was too near. She knew she needed Emily. Being with her felt like breathing. And Alison wasn't aware how deep she was drowning, how much air she was already losing, until they shared that kiss in her house. It felt like being renewed. It literally felt like life being breathed into her.

"Alison-" Panic was slowly making its way to Emily's throat. "Alison, stop." She stood and settled herself on Alison's bed, now allowing the blonde to pull away. "You can't push me away. Not anymore. You let me in."

"And I can keep you out again."

"You won't."

"If it keeps you safe, I will!"

"You ran for two years, Ali, thinking it would be safer for me, and it wasn't!" She cupped Alison's face in her hands and she felt Alison's anchor themselves on her wrists, trying to pry them off. But Emily was stronger, and she was more determined. She knew Alison didn't want to do this. Tears slid down Alison's cheeks, and the hands that were trying to push away Emily slackened.

"I don't want to drive to your house one day and see it on fire, Emily." Her voice was weak, and desperate. Her body was already giving up the fight. But her mind wanted to protect the one girl she'd come home for.

"Wouldn't it be safer if you could protect me while being beside me instead of trying to do that from afar?"

Emily knew she'd already won Alison over. Alison's face crumpled and she reached for Emily, and there was nothing else to do but scoot closer, pressing Alison's thin frame against her own, surrounding the smaller girl with herself. Emily couldn't deny that the fear that had gripped her heart when Alison alluded to breaking up didn't shake her. She was in this too deep. She'd allowed Alison to take control of her heart again. But from Emily could see, it seemed Alison had done the same with hers. Emily had Alison's heart, too. A few years ago, Alison wouldn't have given up so easily.