Faded

Chapter Three

|Tris|

I walk out of Zeke's office in a daze, shaking my head slightly to clear it. What a coincidence.

George and I say farewell as I pick up my suitcase on the front desk on my way out. Once I am out of the building, I walk away faster. I can't believe that fifteen minutes into the city and I already "meet" two friends. And I almost slipped up and said my real last name, Prior, instead of the fake one. I'm not sure if Zeke noticed or if he just let it slid.

I'm not sure if I'm relived or disappointed that they don't recognize who I am...

I decide to worry about that later. After all, I am starting a new life and leaving the old one behind. Or, I'm I?

I want to take the train instead of the bus to the Hancock Building, so I walk to the nearest train stop, my bag slung over my shoulder and pulling my suitcase behind me.

I start to notice how much the city has changed during my six-year abstinence. Even though I had came back two years ago, I hadn't really paid much attention to my surroundings, mainly because I'm still on the run and scared of being captured again. But now that I no longer have to look behind my shoulders every few minutes, I can take everything in more thoroughly. 

The difference isn't that insurmountable but still a lot. Some of the buildings that were abandoned and crumbling are reconstructed and have people living in them. The roads are also reconstructed, and cars and buses travels down the street.

I see families and commuters on the sidewalk, going about their everyday lives. A family strolls by, a dad with a young girl on his shoulders and the mom laughing along with them. I wonder if that family could be us, me and Tobias and a little girl for him to spoil....

Stop, I tell myself, you threw that life away. You gotta live with your choices.

I climb up the stairs to the train stop and I can see the train coming. Another thing that has changed: the train actually stops so that people can get on without having to jump on it. It is definitely safer and more convenient for many people, but I miss the mix of adrenaline and pain of jumping off a moving train and feeling the jarring impact of your feet hitting the pavement. 

I choose a seat by the window so I can look out at the city as the train passes by. The Abnegation sector still have those grey, plain houses in neat rows. I wonder if anyone is now living in the house I grew up in. I close my eyes and I can see my mom's reassuring smile and gentle whispers as she helped me up when I tripped and scrapped my knees when I was little. The way my dad smiled at me across the kitchen table in the morning...

I push those thoughts away. I'm starting to wonder if coming back here is such a good idea after all.

I thought back to the photographs on Zeke's desk. One of them is clearly Zeke and Shauna themselves, standing in front of the chasm and smiling at the camera. The other photo shows Zeke, Amar, George, and.... Tobias. They actually looks happy in it. Has Tobias moved on to someone else? My heart squeezes just thinking about it. Will I see him again?

I get off at the right stop and head towards the Hancock building, which is only two blocks away. I still remember the location even after all those years. How can I not? I zip lined thousands of feet from there and meet Zeke, Shauna and Lynn for the first time. Is the Dauntless still doing that? Probably not, now there's actually people living in there. 

A lady is sitting on the front desk when I enter the lobby. I walk up and ask for my apartment number and the keys. Thankfully I didn't stutter when I give her my name.