Why Don't We Imagines

never not - Jonah Marais

——
We were so beautiful
We were so tragic
No other magic could ever compare
——

[present]

I put my head further down into my lpillow. Why doesn't hurt? My mind was sorting out all the reasons why I wasn't crying, alone. not laying in bed for days, like I did, with him. My eyes were fixated on the ceiling. Didn't I love him? The little voice says. My minds travels back to the moment I felt something changed. He had walked out of the bathroom, hair wet and a towel losely hanging around his waist, it reminded me so much of... That was now two months ago and just hours back I told Kayden I didn't feel the same way I used to, and he broke down in tears. My heart was still in it's own place, pacing like it always has. I run my hand through my hair. I never felt the way I used to with him.

——
There's a room
In my heart with the memories we made
Took 'em down but they're still in their frames
There's no way I could ever forget
——

[past]

Jonah's eyes found mine in the heavily crowded space. I felt butterflies in my stomach, with every touch I felt the heat rush through my body.

"Let's get into the ferris wheel." He says, and takes my hand in his. He kisses my temple as we sit down in the seat. His arm is wrapped around my body, so I'd feel safe. The fire in my body is burning steadily. I look over the dark beautiful city, I now call home. After everything we did to get here, it felt so right. Me, here, safely wrapped in his arms. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"y/n?" Jonah asked softly. His angelic voice made my heart flutter. After two years of dating, how did he still manage to give me this feeling?

"I'm okay," I said, wiping away my tears. "I just love you so much."

"I love you too, so much." Jonah stated, and looked at me as he connects our lips.

——
For as long as I live and as long as I love
I will never not think about you
——

[present]

My heart starts aching when I think about Jonah. See, that's what pain is. The little voice says again. I feel tears stream down my cheeks. Then I feel guilt in the pit of my stomach. Kayden has always been nothing but sweet to me, and he doesn't deserve this, just because I can't move on. Jonah jumps back into my mind as I look at my broken bedside table

——
What we had only comes
Once in a lifetime
For the rest of mine, always compare
——

[past]

"Baby? I brought you some food." Jonah says, while kicking open the door and bringing in the tray of food. He lays it on the edge of our shared bed, and sits down beside me.

"Thanks babe." I state softly, my hoarse voice giving up again.

"Anything, for my sick girlfriend." He chuckles. He moves closer, only inches away from my face. "I love you." He says, carefully kissing my cheek.

"Not to close, you don't want to get sick." I say, pushing his face away.

"If those are the consequences, I'm willing to 100% accept them." He says, and kisses me on my mouth softly. Our lips mold together perfectly, as they move in sync.

"Good luck with that." I scoff. My hand is now on his chest, as I push him away from me, just a little to hard. He falls down, and takes his nightstand with him. I see the wood split apart, but all I'm focusing on, is Jonah's expression.

"Oh gosh, are you okay?" I cough. He nods, and quickly sits back down again.

"As long as you don't do that again." Jonah chuckles, rubbing the back of his head.

——
I will never not think about you
From the moment I loved, I knew you were the one
——

[present]

I'm still staring at the broken nightstand, as I re-live every moment I ever had with him. I run my hand through my hair again, feeling the emptiness in my heart, the hole that will never be filled again. He's gone. My minds keeps repeating the phrase. I try to ignore it, my stubbornness getting the best of me. Text him. I shake my head, and refuse to grab my phone. My hands are shaking and sweaty.

——
And no matter what I-I do, ooh, mmm
I will never not think about you
——

[past]

"we need to talk." I saw the message, and nodded. He's right. I drive back home from work and pull up to the driveway. As soon as I open the door, I see Jonah sitting on the couch, hands in his hair. I felt my eyes burn and tried to swallow back the tears.

"Hey baby." I said softly. I put my arm around his neck, and sat down beside him. His eyes are red from tears, and I put my hand under his chin, so he could look me in my eyes.

"We need to break up." He says, only confirming what I was fearing. I looked down to my shoes. "I can't hurt you anymore." He cries. I nod, I feel my heart break into pieces, very slowly, making it extra painfull.

"You're right, It's killing me." I say. He takes me in his arms. We hug for what feels like forever, not wanting to let go of what we had. I inhale his scent one last time. I want to grab one of his hoodies so bad, but I know it won't help with the pain.

"I will always, always, love you." He says. We share one last longing kiss. After we break apart I put my head against his.

"I love you too." I say. We stand up, he grabs his bags, and walks out of the house. Our house. He turns around one last time, and blows me a kiss. Then he closes the door, and I break down on the couch.

——
We were so beautiful
We were so tragic
No other magic could ever compare
——

[present]

that was the last time I saw him. Even remembering his beautiful eyes made the butterflies in my stomach wake up. Still not over him. I wipe away my tears, and fight the urge to grab my phone again. I look at my phone and see the screen lit up. My eyes widen as I see Jonah's name appear on the screen. My heartbeat fastens, and I grab my phone, unlocking it, to read the text I just received.

"hey, can we talk?"

✧

A/N: part 2?