Risk

Twenty Eight

Finals were final over after what felt like the longest time of her life, and the most stressful. She'd handed in assignments, sat exams all while suffering the post break up depression that seemed to sit on her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She knew her grades would have taken a hit since she couldn't focus, her head just wasn't in it. It always went back to him, wanting him, waiting for him to appear, wondering if he ever would and also, worrying. She could hear whispering when she entered the exam hall, two girls she didn't even know watching her and talking in not so quiet voices.

"Do you think she's really fucking a professor?"

"Probably. Wouldn't you? Maybe he managed to steal her the answers for the finals."

She shot them a death glare, and they turned away quickly. This wasn't the first she'd heard gossip spreading, caught people staring at her and mumbling, but she wasn't surprised. People talk, god knows secrets never stay secret for long. But it didn't feel good, and the one person she could talk to about it wanted nothing to do with her.

So after she was done, she went to the Dean and handed in her resignation without a second thought. She'd get her grades, whatever they'd be, she could apply somewhere else, get a job, anything to get out of here and keep James life somewhat normal for him.. He didn't need to live with the risk now he had nothing to gain from it, and the rumours would blow over soon enough.

James wouldn't return any form of communication she attempted. Texts were ignored as well as calls, and the last she spoke to him face to face was when he showed up one night, three weeks after their fight just before the school year ended. Luckily, she was alone when she answered the door, silently stepping back as he stepped inside and sat down a box of her things from his apartment.

Clothes. Book. Toothbrush. Hairbrush. Shoes. And a single white envelope on top.

"I don't want any arguments about that," he told her. "That trip was a gift to you, I can't cancel it and I don't want it. Take someone else with you, all you have to change is the flight booking reservation."

He hadn't looked at her, hadn't even said hello, just came to dump her belongings and leave. She frowned at him, picking up the envelope and holding it out for him to take back.

"I can't accept a holiday to Hawaii, that's just...insane. You keep it."

"I don't want anything to do with it." He said monotone, pushing his hands in his pockets. "If you don't want it, rip it up, give it away or something, I don't care."

She sighed looking at her feet. She hoped maybe he'd be less angry, consider trying to work through this, but nothing had changed really. He wasn't as angry, but if anything he was even more hurt now he'd processed it all.

"James, can we just talk for a minute?" She asked, hurt by how he looked everywhere else in the room rather than at her.

He shook his head, glancing at her then away again. "I've absolutely nothing to say to you." He shrugged. "I thought about what I want to say, what you'd say back to me and I just..." he gripped his hands into fists inside his pockets. "It doesn't change anything,"

"Nothing I say or do can change anything?" She hated how stubborn he could be, but she was also cursed with that trait. "James, I'm sorry, but...I don't want this to be over because of one mistake. I thought we'd..."