IF ONLY.....

CHAPTER 9

"you ok"

She nods and breathes out.

"what was he doing to her, the way she was screaming gosh I hope she's ok"

Cole laughs and she looks at him with a cute frown on her face.

"this is not funny Cole"

He just continues to laugh.

" it is actually"

" I'm worried here and you're laughing"

He holds her hand and brings it to his mouth and kisses the back of it.

" relax she's ok they were just having some rough sex that's all"

She gasps and looks out of the window and she pulls her hand from his grip. He looks at her briefly before he concentrates on the road.

"what is it"

"nothing"

She says with a low tone.

" don't do that ntokazi, you know I hate it when you do that"

She sighs.

" is...is rough sex enjoyable. I mean Mazwi was...ummm rough and you were rough as well and I didn't enjoy it, that's why I'm worried about her"

Cole keeps quiet clenching his jaws, he isn't ready to talk about this. Ever since he took her in he's been feeling guilty about their first time together. He clears his throat.

"first of all I'm sorry about what I did to you, I thought you're like the girls I used to fuck, they always flirted with me and when I told them we should go upstairs they would just like that, and they never complained so I figured you're one of them, im sorry ntokazi"

She swallows hard still looking outside the window.

"I bled for days "

Cole sighs and he parks on the side of the road and he looks down feeling like shit.

" I'm sorry ntokazi, I wanted to stop but I couldn't. The moment I felt how tight you were I knew you weren't like all those girls but I just couldn't stop that's why I didn't even last long. Look I know our first time together was horrible for you and I'm sorry ntokazi if only i could turn the hands of time but I can't"

She chuckles bitterly.

"you even threw money at me like I'm some prostitute"

Cole sighs and he looks at her.

" I'm sorry, i  know I made you feel cheap but that wasn't my intention. We just met at the wrong place and at the wrong time Marang, I was going through some things and I just wanted to release"

" it's ok can we just go back I'm sure they are done by now"

Cole just looks at her.

" are you mad at me"

She shakes her head.

" look at me"

She does slowly.

" I'm sorry I hurt you and made you feel cheap. You're not cheap and you'll never be in fact you're beautiful, kind and sexy and...."

Then he clears his throat and he smirks looking forward.

" Let's just go buy ice cream at Macdonald's and some takeaways and we'll go back home"

She sighs.

" ok"

"so are we good?"

She nods.

" you know I want you to say it "