IF ONLY.....

CHAPTER 15

Richard and Cole ran inside the hospital and they saw Dineo sitting down crying with blood on her shirt and her grey leggings, she was even shaking…they rushed to her.
Richard: baby
She looked up and Richard sat next to her and pulled her closer and he held her as she cried a gut wrenching cry, as for Cole he stood there staring at Dineo’s bloodied grey leggings and shirt with his eyes popped out and his heart beating fast.
Richard: what happened Dee and what did the doctor say?
She was now sobbing with Richard still holding her.
Dineo: they...they are still busy with her
Richard: ok….now tell me what happened
She sniffed.
Dineo: she…she said she was going to take a bath and after some time I got worried that she wasn’t coming out, I knocked on the door and she wasn’t answering so I let myself in and…and….
She cried.
Dineo: and…I found her inside the bathtub full of water and the water was red in colour….i ….i took her out and I saw that she cut her wrist….she wasn’t responding Richie and I couldn’t feel her pulse so I called an ambulance and I tried to resuscitate her until the paramedics arrive
Cole sat down and bend looking down and he put his hands on top of his head and his elbows on his thighs….his mind was all over the place, then flashes of Shirley flooded his mind…..seeing her covered in bruises all over her face laying on the hospital bed after being gang raped to seeing her for the last time inside a coffin filled his mind and his hands started to shake….tears gushed out as he clenched his jaws.
Dineo: what…what did you say to her that pushed her to do this Cole?
She spoke after some time…… now Cole was now siting back staring into space with his jaws clenched as they waited for the doctor.
Richard: baby now is not the time
She got off his hold and looked at Cole.
Dineo: yes it is….after their “talk” she changed so I want to know what he said to her that made her do this
Cole: so you gonna blame for something Marang did on her own
Dineo chuckled bitterly.
Richard: Cole don’t
Cole: no I want to know!
Dineo: yes im fucken blaming you you piece of shit
Richard: Dineo!
Richard reprimanded her and Cole chuckled. 
Cole: I should go before you end up being admitted here too
He got up and Dineo got up too and so did Richard.
Dineo: what did you just say?
He walked away.
Dineo: VELE GO YOU SON OF A BITCH NO WONDER SHIRLEY IS DEAD IM SURE YOU FUCKEN KILLED HER TOO BY ACTING LIKE A FUCKEN JERK LEMARETE!
Cole stopped walking and he turned slowly and the look on his face….yho!.
Richie: DINEO!
Dineo: KENG…KENG RICHARD? ( what… what Richard?)
Cole: what did you just say!
Richie: Cole don’t please…just walk away man
Dineo: you should listen to your friend and walk away for your own fucken good satane ke wena ( you satan)
Cole walked to her and Richard stood between them.
Richie: Cole walk away now!
Cole: say what you said about Shirley to my face I fucken dare you!
He said with an angry voice and a deadly look on his face.
Richie: calm the fuck down Cole and walk away!
Dineo: im not afraid of you Cole im not Marang wankutlwa ( you hear me)…..you pretended to care about Marang and now that o mo jele (you fucked her) she’s no use to you ankere ( right)
Cole: warn this bitch of yours Richard…im not in the fucken mood to be entertaining her bullshit…warn her!
Dineo: a bitch ke mmao you fucken moerskond! ( a bitch is your mother you fucken asshole)
Cole moved and before Richard can react Cole was already grabbing Dineo by her neck squeezing tight.
Richard: GET YOUR FUCKEN HANDS OFF HER COLE IM FUCKEN WARNING YOU!
He said pulling Cole’s hand from her neck and Cole let her go and he pointed at a coughing Dineo looking mad-angry.
Cole: you’re fucken lucky…. next time he won’t be here to safe you nx!
Then he walked away looking angry.
Richard: are you ok
Dineo went to sit down holding her bruised and painful neck ignoring him and he went to sit next to her.
Richard: what was that all about Dineo?
Dineo: leave me alone Richard….just leave me the fuck alone!
Richard: WILL YOU STOP IT, I GET IT YOU’RE SCARED AND ANGRY BUT STOP OK!
He said shouting at her and she sat there sulking then tears filled her eyes and a sob escaped her mouth.
Richard: eish don’t cry babe…im sorry ok im sorry
Her hands started shaking as she thought about Marang and Richard held her.
Dineo: I can’t lose her Richie, I can’t lose her
Richard: I know baby I know
He said holding her tight.
After what felt like decades for them they saw a doctor walking to them after a nurse showed him Marang’s family……Richard and Dineo got up quickly rushing to him.
Dineo: how is she Doctor…how’s my sister
The doctor sighed.
Doctor: im sorry to say this bu….
Dineo screamed hysterically with her hands on top of her head.
Doctor: miss calm down and let me fini…
He didn’t finish his sentence as he saw Dineo going down and luckily Richard caught her before she could hit the floor.

----------

Dineo was now lying on the hospital bed with a drip on and Richard was sitting on a chair next to the bed holding her hand looking at her like she was a priceless jewel, he couldn’t believe what the doctor told him….His hand went to her stomach and he put it there and tears ran down his cheeks, he then chuckled and he pulled his hand back and he wiped his tears off.
Richard: damn she’s gonna freak out when I tell her….damn she’s gonna kill me
He said to himself and he chuckled again, he got up and kissed her lips then he went to stand by the window taking out his phone and he made a call.
Cole: yeah
Richard: you calm now
Cole kept quiet a bit.
Cole: did I do any damage to her neck
He said with a low tone and Richard sighed rubbing his beard.
Richie: her neck is a bit bruised
Cole sighed heavily.
Cole: im sorry man….im sorry I just lost it…. Shirley is a sensitive topic and i…..
He sighed.
Cole: I’ll also apologize to her….im sorry for man-handling your woman like that
Richard sighed.
Richie: what was that all about man, you never act like that ever…..you’re the only motherfucker I know that can control his anger
Cole sighed.
Cole: is…is Marang….
He said ignoring his question….he kept quiet a bit swallowing hard.
Cole: tell me she’s o…
Richard interrupted him.
Richie: she’s alive…. the doctor said she lost a lot of blood but she’s gonna be ok but we both know she’s far from being ok, she just got lucky but next time she might not be
Cole sighed with relief.
Cole: there won’t be a next time and I’ll make sure of it
Richie: whoah….look man I think you should stay away from her man….you haven’t found closure man and as long as you can’t give Marang your all it won’t work between you two
Cole: you don’t get it man…. she’s the air I breathe, I can’t function without her
Then they both kept quiet with Richard surprised that he said that…he knew he loved her in a way but for him to say that was a surprise.
Richard: ok….where are you now?
Cole: outside in the parking lot
Richie: outside where?
Cole: I didn’t leave….i couldn’t
Richard sighed.
Richie: come back inside so we can talk
Cole: is Dee with you so I can apologize to her
Richard sighed.
Richie: they admitted her like you said they will
Cole: wait did I hurt her that bad
He said worried.
Richie: no she fainted cause she misunderstood the doctor and guess what…..she’s pregnant
Cole: WHAT?
He asked shocked and Richard chuckled.
Richard: she’s going to kill me man….ke tlile go tlhapaolwa ka marete a me blaen im telling you
Cole chuckled and Richard told him Dineo’s ward number and they ended the call and he looked at Dineo with a smile on his face.
Richie: fuck im going to be a father
He said to himself and he chuckled.
Well after Cole came back, he sat down with Richard and he apologized again, he even congratulated him on the pregnancy and later on he went to the ward Marang was in without telling Richard he was going there and he sat there looking at her with an emotional face.

----------

AT A PRISON INFIRMARY (small prison hospital)

Mazwi was laying there with a drip on, his eyes were closed but tears were gushing out as he laid there thinking about what he went through…..he had nightmares of what happened to him, he couldn’t believe he was raped and beaten to a pulp….now his fear was going back to that cell and the worst part of his fear is being denied bail. He now regretted meeting Marang and asking her out….He regretted agreeing on the bet he had with his friends about her, the bet was about him dating Marang and sleeping with her within a week’s time. Marang was one of those girls who were in varsity to study and not to date, she rejected all the guys that approached her before Mazwi including some of Mazwi’s friends who tried their luck on her.

So Mazwi agreed to the bet cause he loved pussy and a challenge but what he didn’t plan on was actually falling for her, he broke her virginity and won the bet but he also fell for her so he decided to go on with the relationship and he was actually happy dating her….she was innocent and down to earth, different to the type of girls he dated and he love it…. but she was clueless when it came to sex especially the kinky stuff so he went outside his relationship to get freaky with other girls while he continued dating Marang,  but what he didn’t know was condoms break and sometimes the pull out method doesn’t work. Well the side chick got pregnant and Marang broke up with him without even giving him a second chance and then the side chick threatened to expose him on social media if he didn’t do right by her cause she feared of the consequences of abortion and her family knowing about it cause she’s from a Christian family and with Mazwi, he got scared of disappointing his father again.

So he found a way to manage the situation by telling his parents about the pregnancy and he lied and said he loves the girl and that he wants to pay damages and lobola for her….Zakhele was disappointed at him “again” but he was glad that at least this time around he was taking responsibility for his actions but he didn’t know that Mazwi was planning to end things with the pregnant side chick after she gives birth and fix things with Marang, he didn’t care about the lobola money his parents were going to pay to the girl’s family cause he has always been one of those spoiled kids who thinks money grows on trees, anyway what he didn’t think would happen was Marang actually moving on that fast and with his uncle…..

He opened his eyes fast when he felt a hand touching him and he started to tremble when he saw who was standing there.
Grootman:  aow cheese boy yaka man….yeeerr I missed you boy boy mine (my cheese boy….i missed you my boy)
Mazwi laid there trembling with fear.
Grootman: no man why cry boy boy mine ….i loves you boy boy mine so no cry, Grootman come see if boy boy mine is sharp so no cry ( no man why are you crying my boy…. I love you my boy so don’t cry, Grootman came to see if his boy is ok so don’t cry)
He said wiping Mazwi’s tears off who looked shit scared.
Grootman: plus Ghost o rile o batla o phela wabona so next time ko ba gentle magic ok….a ko e tsentsha roff….ko berekisa bovesaline nyana wa bona ( plus Ghost said he wants you alive so next time I’ll be gentle ok…..i won’t put it in roughly ….I’ll use Vaseline ok)
Tears gushed out of Mazwi’s eyes as he trembled.
Grootman: anyways e re ke vaiye ke tlao shapela round gape neh boy boy mine ( anyway let me go I’ll come see you again ok my boy)
Then he walked out whistling and Mazwi started crying trembling like a leave……

The following day his mother came to visit him and the moment she saw him she busted out with a loud cry but Mazwi stopped her saying she shouldn’t cry cause she failed to protect him.
Vuyi: baby I tried everything I really did but…but
She sobbed.
Mazwi: stopok…stop I don’t care about you trying….the fact is I…I was raped and it’s your fault and your husband’s fault too….ya’ll failed me so I don’t want your stupid pity!
He said with a cold tone and Vuyiswa’s tears continued to run down her cheeks with her heart broken by his words.
Vuyi: Ma…Mazwi don’t….
He stopped her.
Mazwi: I called you here to ask you to make sure I get a bail hearing as fast as your lawyer can get it for me
Vuyi: are…are you sure you’re strong enough for that
Mazwi: just get on with it, whether im strong enough or not shouldn’t bother you!
Vuyi: Mazwi baby don’t…
He interrupted her.
Mazwi: can I trust you to do that for me
She sighed.
Vuyi: yeah I’ll call the lawyer as soon as I leave this place
She said wiping her tears off.
Mazwi: good….you can go now I need to rest
Vuyi: baby i….
He interrupted her.
Mazwi: please ma I need to rest!
She swallowed hard and she got up with a heavy heart.
Vuyi: I love you Mazwi…you’re my only son and I love you and im sorry I failed you baby
She walked out with tears running down her cheeks….he didn’t even ask what happened to her bruised face the way he was cold towards her.

----------

BACK AT THE PRIVATE HOSPITAL

Dineo opened her eyes and she looked around trying to make sense of where she was and she instantly saw that she was in hospital or was still in hospital, she cleared her throat when she saw Richard standing by the window looking outside with his hands inside his pockets and he quickly turned and he rushed to her…. then her eyes got filled with tears when she thought about Marang and what she “thinks” the doctor said about her.
Richie: hey shhhh she’s alive….she lost a lot off blood but the doctor said she’s gonna be ok
Her eyes popped out and her bottom lip trembled.
Dineo: she….she’s ok…she’s alive?
He nodded smiling.
Dineo: but the doctor said….
Richard chuckled.
Richie: you fainted without hearing what the doctor wanted to actually say my love
She frowned.
Dineo: but he said…
He interrupted her.
Richie: he was saying he’s sorry but even though she’s alive and gonna be ok physically but emotionally she needs help cause the cut was deep and that its even a miracle that she made it cause when she got here they could barely feel her pulse
She swallowed hard and more tears gushed out.
Dineo: I’ll…I’ll call her therapist
She said sniffing and Richard sighed.
Richie: the doctor said she’s gonna need to see a psychiatrist instead
Dineo: her therapist will recommend one for her
She said wiping her tears off and Richard nodded.
Richie: ok
She breathed out.
Dineo: mara doctor o le wannyela( that’s doctor is full of shit)…. kganthe ko (at) medical school they don’t teach them how they should break the news to patients families….o no phatlhoga fela le melomo eme kima nx ( he just started talking nonsense with his big lips)….”nyamsori to say this but” ya masepa…. nx I should sue his ugly ass for emotional distress cause now ke idibetse for mahala nje ( I fainted for nothing) nx rubbish!
She said wiping her tears off and Richard laughed shaking his head.
Richard: and you’re surprised when i say I will never let you go rato laka (my love)
She smiled a bit then she sighed getting emotional.
Dineo: so how is she?
Richie: she’s in an induced coma so we have to wait for her to wake up
She sighed and she closed her eyes for a bit then she opened them.
Richard: she’ll be fine my love
He said kissing her forehead then he cleared his throat and he sighed taking a step back from her.
Dineo: what….is everything ok….is it Marang?….you lied and said…
He interrupted her.
Richard: hey relax its not Marang
Dineo: then keng o le serious so all of a sudden? (then why are you this serious all of a sudden)
He Sighed.
Richie: its about why you fainted Dineo
Dineo: im sure it was because I was in shock
Richie: yeah and another thing too
Dineo: what….wait don’t tell me I have a brain tumor or something Richard?
She said with her eyes popped out.
Richie: you don’t have a brain tumor Dee so relax
She breathed out and he sighed again.
Richie: well here goes nothing…..umm you…you are pregnant
Silence filled the room for a bit.
Dineo: askies?
Richard: you are pregnant my love in fact we are pregnant
He said smiling nervously.
Dineo: you’re kidding right
Richie: no
Dineo: no im not…im on contraceptives Richard…you know that and….no they made a mistake im not pregnant
Richie: yes you are baby
Dineo: are you me Richard heh?…is you me?… me you i?…you me we heh?.... o Dineo wena  nou? ( are you Dineo now?)
Richie: what?
He said confused then she started breathing heavily as what Richard told her started to sink in.
Dineo: mxm I can’t believe you Richard, you’re married for God’s sake…..how can you impregnate your side chick….wa gafa? ( are you crazy)
She said feeling worked up.
Richie: will you just calm down before you upset my child!
He warned her and she just looked at him and tears filled her eyes and he sighed.
Richie: im sorry for shouting baby but can you just stop please….we are pregnant and there’s nothing we can do but to accept it and work through it
Dineo: you’re a prince Richard….a married one for that matter
Richard: and I can take more than one wife Dineo
She looked away and he sat on the edge of the hospital bed and he sighed holding her hand.
Richie: Dineo I love you and I know you love me too
He sighed again.
Richie: and this baby is a clear indication that you should agree to be my wife…fate is showing us signs that we belong together so stop fighting it please rato laka (my love)
Dineo: Richard..
Richie: soon you gonna start showing so assomblief make up your mind my love
She just looked at him drained….she knew from now on things will change…..Well she doesn’t know how its like to have a present father in her life  let alone to know how he looks like….. she doesn’t even know how it’s like to cry to your father…..how its like to hug her father or to hear him say I love you or im proud of you my daughter, or how its like to make tea for her father or to wake up in the morning and say “morning papa”…..now she’s pregnant and a married man is the father just like her mother was pregnant by a married man too but one thing she can’t do is let her baby grow up without a father like her mother did with her…that she won’t do especially now that she has a chance to give her daughter what she failed to have ever since she was born, being her baby to have a full time father in  his/her life.
Dineo: “ damn I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree neh”
She thought and tears ran down her cheeks.
Richard: hey don’t cry my love please
He said lying next to her and he pulled her closer and held her tight and she just sobbed.

----------

Cole was sitting next to the bed holding Marang’s hand looking at her as she lay there peacefully. He felt like shit for lashing out at her like that, he wished he handled things better…..he sighed and he looked down with his jaws clenched.
Cole: im sorry ntokazi….im sorry for saying all those things, the thing is….i…..i haven’t accepted her death, i….i find it hard to accept it
He sighed.
Cole: I blame myself….maybe if I didn’t change my life around I wouldn’t have gone to some stupid business meeting out of town, I would have went to pick her up from her sister’s place and she wouldn’t have gotten inside that fucken cab and that fucken driver and his accomplices wouldn’t have…..
He kept quiet with his chest moving up and down fast….he was angry.
Cole: and now I failed you too….i….
He rubbed his eyes.
Cole: im sorry ntokazi
Dineo: do you love her Cole or you just wanted to help her….help me understand cause I thought you loved her mara bona nou o mo (but look now she’s here)
She was standing at the door with Richard…Cole didn’t hear them open the door….anyway he turned looking at her and he sighed getting up from the chair….. he walked to them and stood in front of Dineo who had a frown on her face.
Cole: she’s the air I breathe I hope that answers your question
She stood there tongue tide and Richard cleared his throat.
Richie: I thought you left
Cole sighed.
Cole: I had to see her
Richard nodded and Cole looked at Dineo.
Cole: im sorry about what I did to you….im not like that and I promise it will never happen again
She didn’t say anything she just looked at him with a serious face and Cole cleared his throat.
Cole: ok then….we will talk later bafo
Richie: sho
He walked out and Dineo sighed walking to Marang and tears automatically ran down her cheeks.

----------

Well they stayed with Marang for some time then Richard went to drop off Dineo at her place and he went home to change and after that he was gonna go see Cole to make sure he’s ok cause he knew he was blaming himself for what Marang did despite what he said to Dineo during their heated fight….He drove in and parked his car then he went in with the doctor’s words about Dineo being pregnant ringing in his head….to say he was happy was an understatement but he was also worried about her concerning Marang, he knows Dineo loves Marang and seeing her in that state will stress her out.
Batho: hey baby….you home early today
She said with a big smile on her face as she got up from the couch and Richard sighed.
Richard: came to change im going over at Coles he’s not well
He said walking upstairs and she followed him.
Batho: ooh ok…anyway I have a surprise for you
He frowned taking off his shirt and she handed him a wrapped box she took from her side drawer.
Batho: i was gonna give it to you tonight but the way im so excited I can’t wait so open it baby
She said looking excited and he sighed and opened it wondering why she seemed joyful today then he frowned when he saw a white stick inside with two red lines.
Richie: what’s the hell is this
Batho: home pregnancy test duh
She said rolling her eyes and she smiled….he swallowed hard because the smile on her face was clear enough for him about what those two red lines meant.
Batho: im pregnant baby and im sure its boy, I can feel it….im carrying your heir my prince
She said with a proud smile on her face and he just stood there shocked, not knowing what to do or to say….he wished he could just disappear that instant.