IF ONLY.....

CHAPTER 18

AT THE HOSPITAL

Cole breathed out in an attempt to calm himself down then he moved and put the takeaways down.
Cole: eat up
Marang: I already had my breakfast
Cole: hospital food taste like shit now eat up I brought you proper breakfast
She sighed and she slowly took the paper bag and she took out the takeaways and immediately her mouth watered.
Cole: eat up
She started eating and he sat on a chair and watched her.
Cole: tell me about that guy
She stopped eating and looked at him.
Marang: Co...Collins
He clenched his jaws cause even his name alone pissed him off.
Cole: yah
She cleared her throat and she sighed.
Marang: there’s nothing to tell, he’s just Dineo’s ex
Cole: and?
Marang: he’s Zambian and from a rich family
Cole: how long did they date
Marang: why are you asking me about him Cole
Cole: cause I want to know the fucker that’s invading both mine and my brother’s territories
Marang: your territory?
He looked at her sitting back.
Cole: yah...you got a problem with that
Marang: we broke up Cole so you can’t say that
He raised an eyebrow at her.
Cole: is it?
Marang: Cole please stop
He just looked at her for some time and he looked down at his hands and he sighed.
Cole: im sorry Ntokazi
She frowned looking at him because she didn’t expect that.
Cole: im sorry for all the bad things I said and for making you feel like you mean nothing to me
She looked down.
Cole: you’re not in competition with her Ntokazi, she’s dead and not coming back ever
Marang: does it mean if she were to come back from the dead then I’ll have competition?
Cole: you know what I meant, don’t be like that
Marang: no I actually don’t
She said looking at him.
Cole: Ntokazi....
Marang: Cole you said im the air that you breathe but you treated me like shit just because I mentioned your love’s name
He sighed and rubbed his eyes.
Cole: its not like that Ntokazi and I didn’t treat you like shit I just lashed out and lost it
Marang: im telling you how I felt and you’re busy saying what I felt was wrong
Cole: look that’s not what im saying
Marang: then what are you saying Cole
She asked with an emotional voice
Cole: look im just not over her death, I find it hard to move on from it
Marang: then why am I in your life then
He looked at her intensely.
Marang: its best we stay away from each other cause you’re not over you late lover and I cant stomach you still holding on to her like that
He didn’t say anything he just clenched his jaws and they remained silence for a while with Cole still looking at her with that intense look on his face.
Marang: you cant give me what I want so please stay away from me so I can heal
He swallowed hard.
Cole: is that what you want
She didn’t say anything.
Cole: I asked you if that’s what you want Marang
Tears ran down her cheeks but she didn’t answer him and he chuckled and got up.
Cole: fine as you wish......I’ll stay away
He walked out looking angry and she busted out with a sob cause the truth of the matter is its not what she wanted.....
Outside Cole walked to his car in the parking lot looking angry then he heard someone calling him and he turned and found that’s its  Richard.
Richie: bro you ok
He asked when he saw the look on his face.
Cole: yeah......uDineo left with that Collins guy right after our call
Then he walked away.
Richie: Cole!
Cole: I’ll talk to you later
He kept on walking and he took out his phone and made a call.
Voice: wow.... hey Cole long time
A woman answered.
Cole: are you around
Voice: umm yeah but im at work right now
Cole: make up something and meet me at our usual hotel
Woman: wow so you only remember me when you horny huh
Cole: can you make it or should I find another pussy to fuck!
He said with a cold tone.
Woman: jeeez fine I’ll be there
Cole: good I’ll send you the room number.... and Neliswa
Neliswa: yeah
Cole: I don’t wait for pussy, pussy waits for me!
Then he dropped the call and he got into his car.
Meanwhile Richard was still standing there looking at Cole and his body language and he instantly became worried about him cause it could only mean one thing, him and Marang had an unpleasant “talk”.....He sighed and he took out his phone and dialed Dineo’s numbers but it rang unanswered  then he send her a message and it read;
“you better not be with that motherfucker Dineo especially with my child in your womb....i swear Dineo if you’re with that pig I’ll kill him...i’ll fucken kill him”

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INSIDE THE HOSPITAL

Marang got off the bed and she disconnected the IV but she didn’t pull it out of her hand, then she wore her gown and sleepers and she took her phone and walked out....she told the nurses that she’s taking a walk cause she’s bored inside her room and she walked out of the private ward with her mind on what happened between her and Cole, she walked around slowly trying to find strength to not hurt herself again.....She kept on convincing herself that she made the right decision based on the fact that they both have serious things to deal with apart and to heal before they can even think of getting into a relationship but her heart wasn’t agreeing with her, she wished she could call him and tell him that she didn’t mean what she said but her pride wouldn’t let her......after 10 minutes or so of walking around she spotted an area that was being renovated, she then saw a toolbox on the floor and she saw that no one was around, they were busy inside one of the empty wards....Something told her to go closer to the toolbox and she saw a couple of things inside but what caught her eye were the long flat nails inside, well she took two and quickly walked away putting them inside the pocket of her gown and she walked back to her ward.
Nurse: did you enjoy your walk?
She said smiling at her and Marang faked a smile.
Marang: yeah it was a bit refreshing
She went inside her room and she immediately went straight to the en-suit bathroom and she took off her gown and pjs and she unwrapped the bandage that was wrapped around her wrist and  she took one nail and went inside the shower, she ran the shower and she sat down making sure she doesn’t wet her wounded wrist....she took the nail and she slid her other wrist enough for blood to come out but not too deep and she closed her eyes and she looked up moaning a bit as the pain she was feeling in her heart was being overshadowed by the one she was feeling on her wrist.....she stayed like that for some time until the stinging on her hand subsided a bit then she sighed and got up then she washed the blood off her hand to stop the bleeding and she switched off the shower tap and she dried herself and cleaned the wounds, she then wrapped the bandage again on the first wrist and she wore her pjs and gown then she went back in her room and got on the bed and she sighed laying back.
Marang: im sorry Dee, I just needed the pain to be better that’s all
She said to herself and tears ran down her cheeks and she wiped them, right then Dineo walked in with a box of pizza and drinks and Marang’s bag that had her books and study guides.
Dineo: im back.......look what I got you
Marang faked a smile and Dineo frowned at her.
Dineo: o sa batla go mbora Mara, o fa nna fake smile....nna Dinny? ( don’t bore me Mara, you’re giving me that fake smile....me Dinny)
Marang sighed and she looked down.
Marang: askies, I forgot you can tell from my real smile to my fake one
She chuckled nervously.
Dineo: mmmmh and never forget that
Marang: yes mam
Dineo: good ....so your books to study and pizza to eat
Marang smiled genuinely.
Marang: thank you Dee, I know I don’t always say this but I love you and you mean a lot to me sis
Dineo smiled at her.
Dineo: and you mean a lot to me too aunty Marang
They both laughed.
Marang: I wonder if it will ever sink in that you’re pregnant
Dineo: yeah neh....imagine nna Dee, ngwana Lydia pregnant ( imagine me Dee, Lydia’s child pregnant)
Marang: you practically take care of me so im sure you’ll make a wonderful mother
Dineo smiled.
Dineo: well one thing I know is im not gonna raise a spoiled brat
Marang laughed lightly and Dineo sat down.
Dineo: mmm so the nurse told me you took a walk today
Marang cleared her throat.
Marang: yeah after the talk with Cole I needed one
She said looking down.
Dineo: what happened?
Marang: I told him to stay away from me and he said as I wish and he walked out
She said that and swallowed hard blinking away the tears and Dineo got closer to her and she hugged her then they broke it.
Dineo: you know I thought ya’ll will fix things
Marang: we are both dealing with things so it won’t work.....he can’t let Shirley go and im insecure because of her even though she’s dead, as long as he still hang up on her like that I’ll always get hurt, I  just want to be the only woman in his heart and now he can’t give me that
Dineo sighed.
Dineo: im sorry
Marang: it hurts Dee
She said as tears ran down her cheeks and Dineo hugged her as she sobbed, Marang then felt a sting on her recent cut  and she almost reacted but then she pressed her wound hard on Dineo’s back and she concentrated on the pain instead of the one in her heart.

----------

They were now calm and eating with Dineo telling Marang about her breakfast “date” with Collins.
Marang: why do you say he’s changed?
Dineo: there’s something off about him man, he’s.... eish I don’t know
She said with a ‘worried’ frown on her face.
Marang: well you might be right I mean the Collins we know would’ve tried to explain gore he’s not looking for trouble and that he’s into you and not me but Dee the guy chuckled and it seemed like he was challenging....ummm Cole
Dineo: yeah I mean dude even bumped into Cole’s shoulder imagine.....my Collins is kind and sweet...he’s basically a darling not this new Collins who is just too.... eish i don’t even  know how to describe him
She sighed.
Marang: mmmmh he seems different
She said taking a bite off her slice of pizza.
Dineo: can you even believe after I told him about what Mazwi did to you he said he’ll call “his contacts” to make sure he doesn’t make bail
Marang: so o na le dicontacts now? ( he has contacts now)
Dineo: mmmmh and the way his phone rang when we were having breakfast you wouldn’t believe that he’s only been in the country for three days fela (only)
They kept quiet a bit.
Marang: wait...has he really been in the country for three days fela or.....
Dineo swallowed.
Dineo: well I wouldn’t be shocked if he lied....i mean now he even speaks some tsotsitaal (thug language), he was like “ eish ka zwakala” and I was “and nou?” (“ im coming” and I was like  “and now?” )
She said making a shocked face.
Marang: He said that?
She nodded and took a large bite on her slice of pizza.
Dineo: I tried to ask him when he started talking in tsotsitaal and he quickly diverted the whole thing to something else
Marang: ai a re itsi Dee ( ai we don’t know Dee), let’s hope he’s not a gangster now
Dineo: yeah, mara moerskond nigga is hot bathong.....even his new walk and the hair cut im not even gonna mention his new style of clothes...he’s just yummy bathong
Marang giggled.
Dineo: ai anyway let’s stop talking about married men like that....... take another slice or I’ll finish the whole thing
Marang: nah im full
Dineo: don’t start Marang tuu
Marang: its not that bathong.....i ate that breakfast ummm Cole brought
Dineo: ooh kane ( ooh yeah right)....anyway did Richard come?
She said taking another slice.
Marang: nope....and why are avoiding him like this or is it because Collins is around
Dineo: nope apparently Mmabatho is also pregnant
Marang: no ways
Dineo: mmmmh and nigga knew and he kept it from me....can you believe that bitch even ambushed me at my place warning me to stay away from her husband busy telling me shit nx le nko e kima ( with her big nose)
Marang: ooh my God
Dineo: mmmmh mara sa wara ( don’t worry), im not scared of her and as for Richie hmm o tlo Googl(a) ( he’ll Google)  “ ways on how to make a pregnant and crazy side chick that I love to forgive me ” by the time im done with him
Marang giggled.
Dineo: ka mmona ompala dikuranteng dai moerskond ( I see he reads me on the papers that asshole)
Marang: shame I feel sorry for him
Dineo: you should cause he’ll come beg you to talk to me soon
Marang continued to giggle.

----------

AT THE HOTEL

A knock was heard on the door and Cole pulled out and he went to open without even putting something on, his dick was rock hard with a condom on and he was sweating like crazy.... he opened the door and there stood Neliswa.
Cole: ooh it’s you
He said with a bored look on his face.
Neliswa: what’s all this Cole...why didn’t you stop me from coming here since you found someone to help you out
Cole: I told you I don’t wait for pussy, pussy waits for me now are you coming in or what
She swallowed emotionally and she contemplated on whether she should come in or not.
Cole: I don’t have all day Neliswa!
He snapped at her and she jumped a bit with fright and she took a step and he moved out of the way then she walked in.... she found a woman tied to the bed with her legs wide opened and a cloth put in her mouth.... the woman winked at her and she gasped and turned to Cole.
Cole: are you watching or are you joining us.
Neliswa: wh..what?
Cole: what’s wrong with you today huh, first you take forever to get here and now you’re acting like a retard and you’re acting all emotional and shit
Neliswa: i...i was busy that’s why...
Cole: I don’t care now which one is it?
Neliswa: ummm I’ll watch
Cole: suit yourself
He climbed back on the bed and he finger fucked the other woman as he sucked on her breast....he then stopped fingering her and he inserted himself and he started fucking the woman hard with his one hand grabbing her breast tight...as for Neliswa she sat down and closed her thighs and squeezed them tight as she watched feeling aroused.....the truth of the matter is she caught feelings and she thought as time went by he will too but then one day he just left her in a hotel room when she was asleep without even a goodbye and she never heard anything form him for weeks until today and he’s still a cold heartless beast as he was weeks back if not more, even though he’s busy fucking another woman right in front of her she still feels the same way about him and she wishes one day he will feel the same as she feels for him.....she came back to her senses when she heard him groan a bit and he pulled out and the condom was filled with his sperms, he got out of bed and he took off the cloth out of the woman’s mouth and he smirked at her.
Cole: damn you still have a delicious pussy baby
She giggled and Neliswa swallowed hard getting emotional again cause she thought she was the only woman he fucked.
Woman: and your dick is still as huge and yummy dzaddy
He chuckled and he went to the bathroom and Neliswa looked at the woman swallowing hard.
Woman: im DK and you are?
Neliswa: Neliswa
DK: mmmmh so did you catch feelings or you just like to watch
She said smirking at her.
Neliswa: askies?
DK: its fine to catch feelings I mean nigga is handsome, rich, has a huge dick and he can fuck meaning all in all he’s thee whole package but sweety Cole doesn’t do relationships or love period I mean dude doesn’t even kiss he just fucks
Cole: make it clear to her babygirl since you’re the only one that understands our arrangement 
Neliswa: I haven’t caught any feelings
She said in a defensive manner and DK laughed.
Cole: good then take off your clothes and join her or leave
He said as he went to pour himself a drink and she swallowed and got up composing herself and she started taking off her clothes.
DK: good girl
Cole: now eat her pussy up and do that kneeling on the bed with your legs opened and your ass out, I wanna see that pussy
He said going to sit down and Neliswa did as told and Cole stroked himself as he watched her now dripping pussy.... he got up and he reached for a condom and put it on then he knelt behind Neliswa and slid in....she moaned out loud.
Cole: don’t stop eating that pussy Nelly....i wanna hear both of ya’ll moaning 
He said as he started moving in and out of her with a fast pace......he increased his pace with his head looking up and his eyes closed with Marang’s image in his head.....he looked down and fucked Neliswa hard thinking of Marang and her sexy moans that drives him crazy and not forgetting her countless quirts.