spring day. | choen

day two.

"Chase?" Noen knocked on the bathroom door. "You need to hurry up, Jaden and Ant will be here soon and they said there was no time to wait." Noen was genuinely confused on what took the boy so long in the bathroom. Usually, Chase would be done in less than five minutes, which always left the latter in shock. "Okay." Chase responded, his response suspiciously short. Noen wanted to ask wether everything was okay. But Chase would most likely just say yes, wether he was or not. Something about his boyfriends dishonesty had always bothered him. Noen knew, Chase simply didn't want him to worry. Unfortunately though, it made the white haired boy worry even more.

Noen hated liars. He hated dishonest people. He hated not being told the truth, or being informed about important things. He couldn't stand that, it made him so mad.

Chase couldn't get his eyes off the mirror, staring at himself like he hasn't seen his own body in a million years. That's exactly how it felt. Under all his baggy clothes, it was hard to notice all the weight he had lost these past months. You could tell how pale he had gotten, but it hit him to see his full nude body look so wrecked and used up. Chase started to disgust himself. The color of his skin almost matched Noen's hair, which was so ridiculous to think of. I could pull off a whole clowncheck without putting on some white ass makeup. The boy thought, almost laughing at his own thoughts.

One thing hit him though, one question his mind kept repeating.

How can Noen still be in love with me, when i look like a dead body already? Does he even still love me?

"Baby please, they're literally waiting outside. " His lovers voice got him out of his thoughts. He literally didn't notice how much time he had spent just staring at himself in the mirror. "One second." With that the male put on his clothes, adding some rings and chains to his look before finally getting out of the bathroom. He was immediately met by his shorter boyfriends presence. "What took you so long?" Noen gave his boyfriend a suspicious and kind of annoyed, since he had to wait so long, glare. "I had to shave." The latter excused, hoping Noen would buy or at least drop it. The boy just nodded, not saying anything further since they were already in a rush and leaving the house together.

Stepping into the car that was parked in front of the building, the two of them were greeted with glares from both of the other men seated on the front seats of the car. "What the fuck took you guys so long? Were you fucking or wha-" "Shut up, Ant. Drive." Chase cut the male off, gaining him a sigh from the latter. They eventually started their car ride. "So where's it going?" Noen asked to break the silence that filled the car, obviously also because he literally didn't know. "Coney Island. We actually had something else in mind but Chase begged us to go there so badly" Jaden replied and looked back at the couple, giving Chase a glare, which he responded to with a grin. At this point, Noen really couldn't hide his bright smile. He had always wanted to visit coney island, but for some reason never really got the chance to. Chase must've remembered how badly he wanted to go there one day. His boyfriend was undeniably so genuine.

Chase was kind of suffering during that whole car ride. He got so tired, the constant sitting position making him feel so uncomfortable and exhausted. He got dizzy after only half an hour, and yet he managed to keep quiet about it while making it look so effortless. The other boys noticed though, constantly asking him wether he was okay and if they needed to stop the car. "Chase, man. We can like take a break if you need one." Anthony suggested, looking back at the boy through the front mirror. "I'm fine. Please, just.. focus on the ride." The driver eventually nodded his head, deciding the boy would know himself what was best for him. Noen still seemed worried though. The elder placed his hand on his boyfriends cheek, caressing it tenderly as he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Promise me you're okay, Chasey." He whispered, knowing his lover's attention was most likely anywhere else but present. "Promise." He choked out somehow, leaning back on the seat. He rested his head on Noen's shoulder, wrapped his arm around him and decided to rest til they would arrive.

A poke on his cheek woke Chase up, the male struggling on opening his eyes. "Are we there already?" He somewhat managed to mumble, being met with Noen's worried expression as he opened his red and puffy eyes. "Already?? Damn, you're funny." His boyfriend had to laugh noticing how long the other must've had slept. "Come on baby, let's go." Noen leaned down to kiss his boyfriends pale nose before unbuckling both of their seatbelt, following the two other men towards their destination.

Honestly, Chase had probably worried way too much about today. He may have looked half dead and overly exhausted, but he was actually doing pretty fine. The day went off pretty fun. Chase and Noen holding hands constantly, getting playfully disgusted looks from the other two males. Feeding themselves tons of cotton candy, to a sickening point. Trying out almost every attraction the place had to offer. Yet nothing could've topped Noen's unbelievably happy and beautiful smile. Chase hadn't seen his boyfriend this happy in a while, and he was lucky to know he was doing things right.

The day sadly passed by too fast. The couple was currently on the top of the ferris wheel, looking down at the night sky and admiring the lights that were shining through the cities darkness. Noen allowed to lean on the taller man, feeling so satisfied being so close to the boy. And he hated to admit it, but the fact that the wind was colder than Chase's once so pretty skin somewhat made him feel more at ease.

Chase wrapped his weak arms around the love of his life. "You do know how much i love you, right?" He asked, placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. Noen nodded. "You have no idea with how much happiness it fills me to see you smiling as bright as you did today. God, there is no fucking way to describe it." Chase let his lips wander down to the boys left cheek, pecking it a couple times before letting his boyfriend come to word. "Thank you a lot, Chase. Ever since i've met you, i've genuinely been happy. I can fearlessly say that you're my source of happiness." Their lips met, the kiss lasting for a few sweet seconds. "I don't ever want to lose you, Chase. I love you, so unbelievably much. I would be nothing without you."

Chase's heart broke a little at those words. And instead of responding to his boyfriends confession, he pulled him back into a sentimental kiss. If only he could stay with his love forever. If only he didn't have to leave him alone, leave him broken and shattered in a cruel world like this. If only he could be kissing the beautiful boy he called his boyfriend for a little longer than the nine days he had left. God, Chase would do anything. Anything to safe Noen from tears and an agonizing heartache.

The ferris wheel eventually came to a stop, their kiss breaking slowly. Both of them passing each other a sad smile, knowing something was up but being too vulnerable to say it out loud.

Oh how Chase wished to be given a chance of life. For the sake of his angels happiness. How he wished for a miracle to come and happen.

Never had spending a lifetime with this boy crossed his mind. But now that Chase knew it was impossible, it really did hit different.

its super late and i promise i will edit this in the morning ignore all my typos and everything that does not make sense djskdkdn