the book shop > j.l < MID EDIT

EIGHTY SIX

friday 18th may 1962

penelope

another night alone.

another night of coming back from work to nothing more than a note.

out, will be back later x john

the same old words over and over, and penelope understood, she did.

john was grieving, his heart had never felt so heavy.

since they'd gotten back from liverpool john had made it something of a routine to go to work and then come home before penelope got back from work and go to a bar. he'd stay there for hours before coming back and going to bed. he barely spoke to penelope anymore.

he was being selfish.

he wasn't taking into account penelopes feelings but Penelope of course didn't blame him for any of it - but whilst trying to be there for him she was breaking her own heart because she couldn't look after him whilst looking after herself.

however today was different.

she was angry.

you see a few weeks ago penelopes boss Mary had accidentally gotten her hands on some photographs of penelopes that she'd developed in her free time and she absolutely loved them. she loved them so much she told penelope that there was a small art gallery opening in central london and she would love to represent her in an exhibit. of course penelope was completely ecstatic with this offer and immediately said yes. she came home hoping to tell john straight after and actually managed to talk to him before he left for the bar and he seemed over the moon for her, it was the only night he decided not to go out and it felt like he was back to being okay again. of course after that day he did go back to being quiet and leaving her alone all night, she knew that he wouldn't cheat on her and there wasn't a way he was doing all this for other women, she knew this because she knew john and he wouldn't do that to her. she also would feel his lips on her cheek every night before he went to sleep, 'i love you, i'm sorry,' he'd say. every morning they would wake up together and share small talk until penelope left because she left earlier than him.

penelope hated it.

but tonight was the night of the exhibition, possibly a huge turning point for penelopes career and john wasn't home. she had her hopes set on that he'd meet her there. caleb was even driving from liverpool to see the whole thing, he was then going to stay with penelope and john for the weekend. penelope had been feeling pretty lonely lately, and due to this she'd been calling caleb a lot to talk to him about everything, she would've called charlotte but charlotte had been pretty busy with the whole pregnancy thing and sorting things with pete and their families. caleb had clicked onto things being a little off but didn't want to make her uncomfortable by snooping and just asked if he could visit and she jumped at the offer.

he was going to meet her at the gallery and so she changed out of her normal casual work attire and put on a wraparound dress which was dark blue with tiny hearts with arrow through detail over, she had some matching blue mary janes. she'd gotten her hair cut before coming home and decided to have a full fringe chopped.

she waited around for ten minutes before realising john wasn't coming. she composed herself vowing to not allow him to ruin this night - she knew it would - but she could pretend, she'd gotten good at pretending lately.