the book shop > j.l < MID EDIT

twenty three

wednesday 15th july

penelope

knocking on penelopes door awoke her from an already restless sleep she was having. she glanced over at her clock on the wall to see the time showing three thirty. panic immediately set in, is it an emergency? what if it's intruders? well they wouldn't knock penelope

she quietly got out of bed and wrapped herself in a blanket as she tiptoed down her hallway to her front door. she looked through the peep hole to see a dishevelled john lennon. she frowned and before she could open the door she heard his voice say, "penny, please open the door."

the tone of his voice made penelope extremely worried. she unlocked the door and johns head lifted up. his eyes red and sore, his cheeks tear stained and his clothes mismatched and messy.

"john what's wrong?" she asked pulling on his arm to bring him into her apartment.

"i'm sorry for turning up here at this time, i- i just, you said to come if i ever needed someone and i didn't know what else to do. i can't stop thinking about her and whenever i get like this i can't-"

"john, shh, you don't have to explain to me okay?" she grabbed his hand and took him into the kitchen, "sit down i'll make you some tea."

he nodded sheepishly.

after making both of their drinks she sat by him at the table, "do you want to talk about it?"

he kept his eyes down on his cup of tea, "i just think that today being today i couldn't sleep. and normally i'd just go to a bar and get pissed or something but i don't like who i am when i do that."

"i'm glad you came here," she said sincerely.

"i was being selfish turning up, i shouldn't of woke you," he started "i'm sorry."

"john please stop. like i said, i'm glad your here. i'd rather you wake me than go and get drunk."

he nodded, "i don't want to be angry anymore penelope. i've been so angry since she died, i've pushed everyone away and blamed everyone else when it wasn't anyone's fault," he stopped to calm his breathing slightly, "she got run over."

penelope nodded and put her hand on top of johns to comfort him.

"i've lived with my aunt my whole life and my mum had just left to go home and-" he stopped to clear his throat, "and the car just came out of nowhere. i heard the noise from my bedroom."

he shook penelopes hand off his own to put his head in them.

"it's like every time i close my eyes i hear it over and over, it's so hard penelope." he let the emotions he'd been holding in escape.

penelope didn't know what to say, she couldn't begin to imagine what he was going through.

she moved her chair closer to him so their knees touched and she gently put her arms around his shoulders as best as she could considering their positioning. john wasted no time in moving his hands from his eyes and wrapping his arms around her small waist. he held on like his entire life depended on it. his head in the crook of her neck as the tears flooded out. she could tell he hadn't done this in a long time. she stroked his hair comfortingly as he began to stop crying. after the tears stopped he stayed in her arms a while longer wanting to savour the moment and feeling like he could.