yesterday • (sequel to "And I Love Her")

one: remembering

October 1965

I'm always here... even when... I'm not.

Paul jumped awake again. He did it almost every night since June 30th, 1965, two days after Casady was fatally shot by her ex. On the 30th, he finally slept for a whole 2 hours.
Upon waking up, he realized he was laying in a pool of sweat again. He had been flailing in his sleep, and he noticed Haydan looking over at him from her crib next to the bed.
"Oh, sweetheart." He moved the covers back and stood up, walking around to her crib.
It was around 2:30 in the morning, the same hour that Casady was shot. Emotions took over him; his quiet daughter, the time, the dreams, the cold spot next to him, the clothes still hanging in the wardrobe. He didn't have the heart to close the wardrobe, replace the pillow, or set the clock down on its face. He wanted the reminders, despite the pain.
He scooped Haydan up in his arms and held her against his bare chest. She made no noise except a few coos and gargles. She stared up at him with her big blue eyes, just like her mother's.
"You're such a beautiful girl," he whispered. Despite his emotions, he was calm and smiled at every sight of his baby girl.
She reached up and grabbed at some hair on his chest and pulled. He winced and laughed, grabbing her hand and letting her wrap it around his much larger finger. She squeezed it with all her might.
He walked back around the bed with her and sat in the rocking chair in the corner, next to the wardrobe with Casady's clothes. He could still smell her best perfume lingering on her finest dresses, the ones she wore to dances and parties.
He rocked Haydan back and forth for a while until the infant finally closed her eyes, her little mouth still open. Paul couldn't take his eyes off of her.
He knew then that she would grow up to look and be exactly like his late wife. She had her beautiful blue eyes, the bright blonde hair with brown underneath, and a tranquility that compared to no other baby Paul had seen. He vowed to himself that she would know of her mother early on, whether he had met someone else by then or not.
He also vowed that she would still remain a very present part of his life and Haydan's. He would visit her every day if possible, like he had already done for the past 4 months. Haydan would know where she was buried by the time she was 2 years old. She would be outgoing and talkative, like her mother. She would be everything her mother was in her own unique way.
Paul remembered how open Casady was when they met, how fast they moved, but also how much fun they had together. They were young and it was love at first sight. Paul didn't think there was anything more fun than her personality when they were together. She was adored by everyone and adored everyone. They shared a life right off the bat, out of nowhere. She slept next to him the night of the day they met, on October 15th. They were a couple on the 20th.
They went to Paris together very shortly after they became a couple, only days after Halloween. They made love after knowing each other for less than a month. They explored a whole new place together. Then they got home and fought, and Paul cheated under the influence of drugs, and they broke up for a very short time. They got back together after many promises and discussions. He proposed. They got married and had a baby. Even when Casady was seconds from death, she made sure that her husband knew she loved him and her daughter more than anything. She gave her life to save them both. She was the most selfless person he had ever met, and she didn't deserve the pain he put her through at times nor did she deserve to die so young.
It brought tears to Paul's closed eyes. Haydan was still fast asleep and he tried hard not to move and disturb her.
She was absolutely the most precious being in his life. He couldn't express his love for her tiny self, no matter how hard he tried.
"I love you, baby girl..." he whispered, stroking the infants cheek with his thumb. Her little eyebrows furrowed a bit, but she didn't stir. Paul let a small tear drop from his cheek onto her little sleeping gown.
He carefully stood up and put his daughter back in her wooden crib and crept downstairs.
He opened a big, new bottle of whiskey and began to drink.

welcome back to this story! the predecessor to this book is And I Love Her by me, Queen2112. I plan to have new chapters every other Friday starting today, August 23, 2019.
this is the story of Paul McCartney's life after his young wife was tragically lost only a month after they had their first child. Paul leaned on his band mates and his daughter to recover and soon found new, real love with a photographer from New York. This sequel tells the story of his battle with himself that he experienced every day, despite the wonderful thing his public life had come to be.