yesterday • (sequel to "And I Love Her")

thirteen: a little luck

June 28, 1972

Paul was healing. There was no doubt about it. But every year, on June 28th, he felt the pain all over again.
He knew his mental recovery would be a slow one, and he trusted his family to be there to help all the time. But he never imagined that it would hurt just as bad 7 years later as it did the night she died. But it only hurt like that on this day.
Despite his internal conflict, he didn't let it interfere with the time he spent with his family. It was a beautiful day on the farm and while his wife and adopted daughter were in town doing some shopping, he was out with his youngest girls; a 7-year-old and an almost-2-year-old.
Per Haydan's request, they went out on the horses to explore along the trees that surrounded their land. Some had wild berries, others had premature apples, others were just maple and pine trees. It was a wide variety that Mary loved looking at.
While Haydan rode along on her horse, Mary sat in front of Paul on his own dark brown Appaloosa.
"Daddy, look!" Haydan squealed, significantly ahead of Paul and Mary. "The apples are ripe!"
Paul laughed and held onto Mary as Moonstar caught up to Haydan. She had stopped and was standing on the saddle to try and reach an apple.
"Be careful, darling," Paul said.
"I got it!" She pulled the apple off the tree and slowly sat back down on her horse.
While she ate her apple, Paul lifted his youngest up to the tree and she pulled off her own apple, and he finally grabbed his own. They climbed off their horses and sat in the grass patch between the trees and the field of daisies. Haydan and Mary picked at the grass and flowers and talked amongst each other, but Paul's mind was elsewhere. He laid back in the grass and let the summer breeze sweep over his face.
He never really noticed the cool breeze on a hot day until Casady died. Before her death, there were a lot of things he thought he knew about the world; but after, he learned so much more about the world and how things tend to work. His eyes opened.
He believed every breeze was her way of coming to see them. He believed every storm happened during a dark time in his life. He believed every sunny day was he way of saying hello. Overall, he believed she was everywhere. Other people might not see it, but he did. Nothing passed his attention now.
He listened to his daughters talking to each other in their young, high voices. He remembered when he talked to his brother the same way. His thoughts trailed along each other; he thought about himself and his brother as kids, and thought about how they were now; he thought about how his girls now and wondered what they would be like when they were older. Would they still be best friends like they are now? Would they have a fallout with each other? With him and Linda?
He had no clue, but he hoped they would be just like him and Mike; best friends.
He was shaken from his thoughts when Mary came over and sat down next to him.
"Hi, little lady."
"Here daddy." She gave him a clover; one with 4 leaves. "Haydan says good luck!"
Paul laughed. He took the clover from her tiny hand. "Thank you, sweet Mary." He gave her a kiss and she ran back over to her spot next to Haydan, who had a handful of various flowers in her hand.
She too had a head that was swimming with thoughts. She knew what today was, but she hadn't said a word about it. But she seemed at ease, so Paul was convinced she also felt the breeze.
The clover in his hand put even more thoughts in his head. He had developed the ability to hear a new song based on something he is looking at, and that's exactly what happened now.
He pulled out a note pad and a pencil that he always carried in case an idea struck out of nowhere. Before he started writing, he tucked the clover in the very back of the book to preserve it.
With a little luck, we can help it out.
We can make this whole damn thing work out.
With a little love, we can lay it down.
Luck. Luck was what he needed to get through this process; the slow, painful process.
His luck would come in many forms. One was in his notepad, the other was right in front of him.

happy holidays!! a little late, but I just finished it! hope everyone has a great break from school! I just graduated so I sure will!