Paul has to learn to move on from the death of his young wife and continue life with his precious daughter.
He visits Casady every day, physically or mentally, and reminisces on their life together while living his new life without her.
Time had passed, but watching his children grow made them the best years of Paul's life. Not only could he watch his beautiful daughters grow before his eyes, but he finally had a son born in 1977, James. Every day Haydan looked more like her mother. Now 15, she was turning into every bit of her. Her outgoing personality was every bit of Casady's, and her looks were the same. In his personal life, he had finally figured things out with John. After years and years of fighting, even before the breakup, they finally figured things out and were ready to meet up again. Paul was even packing when his wife ran in the room. Haydan was helping him, folding his shirts and stuffing them in his suitcase. They talked quietly and stopped when they heard hard footsteps in the hallway. Linda appeared a second later. "John's been shot." Paul's head went numb. "He... what?" "He's been shot. Someone murdered him." All he could do was stand there. His face remained expressionless. Haydan let the tears fall. She didn't know John like she wanted to, but remembered that he was her favorite Beatle uncle. He always made her laugh and was closest to her. He saved her life and her fathers, and now he was gone. "Daddy," she said quietly, her voice cracking. Paul turned and tears formed in his eyes when he saw her. She sniffed and started crying and he ran around the bed to hug her. Haydan cried into Paul's shirt while he couldn't muster up the tears. He stared out the window at the snow and tried to think about the situation, what might have happened. But he couldn't. All he knew was that his best friend was dead.
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December 11, 1980
He couldn't leave. Paul couldn't leave to go to New York, because all he would find is his best friend's wife mourning his death. He wouldn't be there to talk to or joke with or anything. He was gone. Paul couldn't leave his daughter. She was a mess. She couldn't sleep at night. She would wake up and hear gunshots and scream for her dad to come in and cry with her. She would hear hunters early in the morning, in the woods, and wonder who was killed. It was horrible. The only reason Paul could sleep was because he knew that he worked things out with him before. He was happy about that, but didn't know how to feel otherwise. The news didn't affect any of the other children or Linda as much as it did Haydan and Paul. This was only because they each knew John personally, in some way, and it was a blow to the heart knowing he was gone. Like the past 3 nights, Paul jerked awake when he heard a scream down the hall. He jumped out of bed and ran to his daughter's room. She was sitting in her bed crying and all he could do was sit and comfort her. He rocked her in his arms while she cried into his shoulder. He kissed her head and rubbed her back. It was quiet otherwise, the sounds of the night absent in the cold snow. "I keep hearing them..." Haydan cried. "I know, darling," Paul replied. "I've been hearing them for 15 years." Haydan hadn't thought of that. Her father stood right there when her mother was killed, wrenched away from them by a jealous man. She had been hearing these sounds in her sleep for 3 days; he heard them for 15 years. "Daddy, I'm sorry..." "Don't apologize, Hay." He ran a hand down her soft hair. "You're a kid... you're allowed to cry." "But you are too," she said. "You're not a kid but you can cry." Her words hit him hard. He had been crying for 15 years, but alone. If he cried, he was alone or with her or Linda. He never cried around anybody else. He always had to be the tough one. But now he didn't have to be. He lost it. He doubled over and cried with his daughter. He lost his wife, he lost his best friend... he felt like he lost everything all over again. Yet, he still had his sweet daughter, with whom he could talk to about both people. Haydan tired herself out after a while and fell asleep on Paul's lap. Her poor face was red and tear-stained. His was too, but he did his best to stay calm for at least a few seconds. When Haydan was finally asleep, he decided he was getting tired too. But he didn't want to leave her alone the rest of the night. She could tell him all she wants that she's a grownup and that she's tough, but she wasn't. Not with this. He carefully cradled her head and laid her back down in her bed, pulling the covers up over her. He kissed her forehead and sat down in the chair in the corner, next to her turntable and cassette player. He covered up in a blanket and laid his head back, hoping for a few more hours of sleep. Before his eyes closed, he looked over at Haydan. She was at peace now, as far as he knew. She may be seeing things again, but she wasn't screaming. Everything was okay. He wished none of this happened. He wished he got his wife out of the country before that man could come find her. But he was selfish and they stayed for him, so he could continue with the Beatles. Had he gotten her out, she would be alive. But on the other hand, he had been given so much good out of this. The mental depression was very difficult, but he had been given a beautiful family, a beautiful wife, and a beautiful career. Everything happened for a reason.
It's been a hectic several weeks!!! Updates will be much slower!!!
