Ninety Day's [}Billie Eilish{]

Chapter Five

I wasn't dunk until I got into the elevator, I put my lips to Billies and she kissed back but after a second pulled away. "Your drunk."

"I hate talking about my feelings." I mumbled.

"And getting plastered is going to help?" She asked walking me towards our room.

"It comes with being Bipolar." 

"I know Gemma, I looked it up. It's ok, just talk to me."

"It's hard Billie."

"I know it is babe, but were dating. That's how relationships are supposed to work."

"I'm sorry. I don't like Zoe."

"What, why?"

"She gives me a vibe." I said as Billie opened the room door.

"Your drunk." She said.

"Yes, but you told me to talk about my feelings so." I looked up at her as I sat in bed.

"She's just my friend Gemma, that's all. I never 'thought' of girls before you so you have absolutely nothing to worry about." She kissed me and grabbed me some clothes and laid it beside me.

"Why didn't you tell me about your body dysmorphia?"

"So you did read the article."

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry, it's just hard for me to talk about."

"I think you are extremely, extremely hot." I said taking her hand into mine.

"Common." She rolled her eyes.

"Have you guys seen each other naked." I more or less started. Billie was standing in front of me and she ran a hand through my hair.

"Yea, we grew up together." I wrapped my arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing my head.

"I can't wait to fuck you." I blurt and Billie laughed.

"I told you that you can."

"I know, but I'm waiting." I said. She just looked down at me for a long minute and she put my hands on her hips and ran them up slowly under her shirt.

"I wish you wouldn't."

"Sorry." I shrugged. I scooted back and pulled her to startle my waist, she kneeled up and put her lips on mine as I ran my hands a little higher and let out a breath.

"Please?" She asked and I shook my head no as I kissed her neck.

"I'm intoxicated." I said and she smiled down at me and sighed.

"At least kiss me." She said and I nodded quickly putting my lips to hers. In one swift motion, I pulled her shirt over her head and she quickly pulled mine off too. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and I kissed down over her chest, she pushed me back so I was laying down and she kissed down over my chest and I grabbed her upper arms and moaned as I pulled her up to me. "Fuck, this is so frustrating." She sighed resting her head in the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry," I said I pushed her away slightly so I could look at her. "God... you are... so hot," I mumbled looking at her body. She put her hands over her eyes and giggled, I sat up and held her to my chest still. She looked down at me and kissed me.

"Ok, you need to put on a shirt or so help me!" She lifted her hands making me laugh. She passed me a shirt and once I pulled it on I realized it was hers, I smiled at her as she walked across the room to grab clothes from her bag. I couldn't help but admire her beauty.

"Stop staring at me." She said not even looking me at and I blushed.

"I'm totally not." I smiled.

"Ok bull shit." She turned to look at me and I couldn't help but bite my lip. "Why do you do that?" She asked.

"What?"

"Chew your fucking lip."

"Why?"

"It drives me, it's really hot." I laughed suddenly forgetting I was drunk. Once she put her shirt on she came over and got into bed with me, she took my hand into hers and kissed my hand then my wrist. I slowly panicked as she kissed up my arm, no doubt feeling my scars. I knew I needed to trust her but I was just nervous. Why would she choose me? She can have literally anyone.

I closed my eyes and I pulled her tight to me. I needed to stop saying what if, and why. I just needed to let myself fall. Even if it ends up in a crash, she deserves to get what she wants. And if that's me... well here I am.