In The Deep

Chapter 18

Clary was putting her books into her locker after school when suddenly Jace ran down the hall quickly and stopped right before he ran at her.

"Ready?" He asked and Clary sighed loudly, glancing at him.

"For what?" She asked, feeling like it was the 19 000th time in her life. "What do you have in mind now?"

"Well, we obviously need to do something." Jace said and Clary glanced at him again.

"Why do we need to do something?" She asked, a bit amused.

"All the exams are over."

"So?"

"No more studying."

"So?"

"Don't you really see where I'm going or are you just trying to be difficult?" Jace asked inpatiently and Clary laughed as she closed her locker.

"I'm not trying to be difficult." She said, swinging her bag on her shoulder. "What do you suggest we do?" She asked, but Jace just looked at her for a while and grinned.

"What do you suggest we do?"

After a while Clary and Jace were sitting on the same spot they had couple days ago, on the same rocks at the beach.

"So..." Clary said quietly. She felt her heart pounding against her chest and her palms sweating, she had decided to come clean with him. She didn't wanna tell him, she didn't wanna lose him, but she felt like she just couldn't lie about it anymore and had to admit it outloud. "I wanted to say.. I mean talk.. to you.. or..." She mumbled, not knowing how to continue and Jace turned to her frowning.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and Clary stared at his shoulder, not meeting his eyes.

"Uh, no. Nothing's wrong." She said with a quick nervous smile and glanced at his eyes quickly, seeing the familiar golden color looking back at her, glowing in the dim light.

"What is it?" He asked briefly, but he seemed curious and a bit worried. He leaned back down on his elbows and looked up at her. Clary turned her gaze in front of her, staring at the water and pulled her knees to her chest.

"I..." She mumbled, it was all she got out. She couldn't even imagine herself continuing.

"Clary, what is it? You can tell me." Jace said quietly and Clary took a deep breath.

She turned to look at him, feeling her heart beating incredibly fast. "Can I?" She asked, her voice trembling wildly. Jace seemed confused and worried as he frowned and sat up, wrapping his arm around her.

"Of course you can." He said and Clary looked down. She wished there was a way to make him know without having to say it outloud since she couldn't get anything out. She turned back to Jace, biting her lip and lost all her courage to say anything as she saw him looking at her carefully.

"I'm sorry. I gotta go." She said and stumbled up, taking her bag with her.

"What?" Jace asked. "What's wrong?" He asked, but Clary didn't even turn to look at him as she ran away to the street, cursing wildly in her mind. She had thought telling him would mean losing him, but she felt like she was losing him right now. Clary felt tears strangling her throat and stinging her eyes as she walked quickly forward. Why did it have to be so goddamn hard?

Suddenly Jace ran in front of her and she almost bumped into him.

"Clary, talk to me." He said, his voice tense and his look worried. Clary felt like screaming, but she just sighed loudly.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Didn't you just say there was something you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, yeah..." Clary mumbled awkwardly. "But I don't anymore."

"Why not?" Jace asked immediately.

"Just let it go." She said, walking past him.

Jace catched up with her quickly and walked faster everytime she did. "I wanna know if something's wrong. I feel like you've been acting weird for a while now."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't lie."

"I don't lie!"

"You just did it again."

"Jace, shut up." Clary hissed at him and stopped, facing him. Jace seemed a bit surprised, but recovered quickly.

"I'm not gonna shut up." He just said and Clary was about to argue back, but he continued before she had the chance to say anything. "I'm not gonna let it go and act like this conversation never happened because I'm worried. Clary, I'm worried. You seem so nervous and weird all the time, just tell me what's wrong. I wanna help."

Clary only stared at him for a while before answering. "You can't help me."

"Yes, I can!" Jace said, motioning wildly with his hands. "This is getting ridiculous! There's always a way to help. You can always find one. Just tell me and I'll do my best to find it, okay?"

"Just stop being so nice to me!" Clary said and he just laughed. "People aren't nice!"

"Are you really that cynical? Have some faith on other people, it'll make your life a lot easier." Jace said and Clary sighed, just staring up at him for a while. Then she reached up, pressing her lips lightly on his. Jace froze completely in a surprise and Clary pulled away slightly, cursing in her mind. Why did I do it?! She thought, but didn't have time to do anything else before Jace's lips were suddenly on hers again and he wrapped his arms around her waist to her lower back, pulling her closer. Clary let out a small gasp, completely surprised, but got over it quickly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes. What's happening? Is this real? Those were the only things going through her head, she felt like there was nothing else on this planet. Could this actually be real?

Thank you for being so patient! I know I haven't updated in a while, I've just been so busy with studying and work. When I finally get my Christmas holiday, I won't have anything else to do than write so.. prepare yourselves! Anyway, I think this chapter was pretty important and looked for.. Hope you like it. I'll try to update as soon as possible :)