Fools

19 - Sam

Sam

Saturday night I went to my freezer and pulled out a carton of Moose Tracks ice cream. I went over to fetch a bowl from the mahogany cabinets then stopped. Eh, I didn't need a bowl. I grabbed a spoon from the drawer and lazily walked upstairs. I slumped on my bed and leaned against the headboard, slipping my legs under the covers.

Noah kissed me. And then he left after telling me the kiss shouldn't have happened. Oh God, he's never gonna talk to me. He had ignored me all day. I couldn't have that kiss ruin our relationship, he meant everything to me. I almost wished we never kissed.

I dug into my ice cream and made sure I got a mini peanut butter cup on my spoon before devouring it. "Get a bowl, you neanderthal." I looked over and spotted Haven in my doorway. She placed her purse down by the door and sat down next to me, mirroring my position. Haven grabbed my spoon to scoop herself ice cream before gulping it down. "Jesus, half the ice cream is already gone, you fatty," she teased.

"Hey, it was already like that," I defended. And I wasn't overweight (I hated the word 'fat').

"Yeah right," she gave me my spoon back. We continued handing each other the ice cream and taking small spoonfuls for ourselves.

"I did something bad," I told her after a moment of eating our dessert in silence.

She looked up at me drawing her eyebrows together in confusion. "What'd you do?"

"I..." I paused to take a breath. "...I kissed Noah... well I kissed him back" I threw out causing my sister to choke on the ice cream she had consumed. "I know, I know! What was I thinking?"

When she finally got control of her coughing, Haven responded, "Oh my god! But he's with Kaitlyn!"

"I know," I said glumly.

"And you kissed him!" She exclaimed as if I wasn't aware of that!

"I know."

"Sam? What the hell?" My sister tried scolding me, but ultimately looked excited.

"I know, I know, I know! I messed up! But, it wasn't my fault! He kissed me. What was I going to do push him back when I've wanted to kiss him for weeks now? No offense, but I didn't care or even think about Kaitlyn when I kissed him. Which makes me feel crappy that I didn't care. And I feel crappier knowing Ben was there."

"Hold on, what?" she questioned raising one eyebrow.

I sighed, "Noah kissed me while I was on my date with Ben."

"In front of Ben?!" Haven shouted.

"No! God, shut up and let me speak," and Haven did shut up as I explained to her what happened. Afterwards, I sighed, "Ah, it was perfect." Then I frowned, "until he left and I had to leave the bathroom. Basically holding back tears. Which, Ben obviously saw I was upset. I just told him I got into a fight with Noah and I asked him if he could take me home. He was so sweet about it, it almost made me want to cry more. And when he dropped me off, I told him I wanted us to be friends. And still, Ben was nice about it."

"Damn, and you still want someone who called you a dickhead before kissing you over Ben" Haven commented, but her tone was light.

I chuckled thinking about how nuts I was for wanting Noah over Ben. Then, I thought about what Noah texted me, 'I'm with Kaitlyn'. I sank lower into my blankets, covering my face with my hands. "God, why did I kiss him? So stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Haven placed the ice cream down on the nightstand before saying, "Hey, come on, lighten up. It wasn't stupid. It couldn't have been that bad."

"Oh, no. It wasn't bad. It was the complete opposite actually. I've wanted to kiss Noah since I first saw him, and last night when I finally did, it was like something you would see in a cliché Nicholas Sparks movie. It was incredible. Pop song inspired." Haven rolled her eyes at my dramatic description of our kiss, but how else do you explain a kiss so perfect? "But, nothing will come from it," I sighed.

"You don't seriously believe that, right? Noah kissed you, Sam. That means something to him."

"But we haven't spoken since!" I groaned. "He's been ignoring my calls and texts! UGH! I wish the kiss never happened!" I exclaimed. "It screwed everything up!"

"Nothing is screwed up. This is a good thing. He just needs some time to process everything," Haven told me, waving off my doubts like her words were the only fact in the world. "He's probably just confused. He's been dating Kaitlyn for what, over three years? And then he kisses a boy? I think he just needs some time to think things over."

I sighed, "I don't know. I hope you're right."

"I'm always right," she claimed and started eating more ice cream.

Three knocks interrupted our brother and sister bonding time. We both turned around to see our mother standing in the doorway. "There you guys are. What's going on in here? Family party without me?" she asked then turned to look at me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I muttered.

"Oh really? Cause I see that ice cream carton. You only eat from the carton when you're upset or mad. So what happened? And don't tell me nothing." Jeez, my mom really knows me.

"Noah kissed him," Haven blurted out, answering for me.

"Haven?! What the heck?" I exclaimed, hitting her arm.

"What? He did," Haven shrugged.

"Oh my gosh!" My mom looked shocked with her hazel eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth. "The boy you like?!"

I covered my face with my hands as embarrassment took over me. Jesus, how does my mom always know everything? "Yes, please both of you leave my room. He has a girlfriend, it doesn't matter."

"Oh, sweetheart. Okay, we'll leave," my mom said and I felt Haven get up. "But if you need a hug-"

I looked up from my hands. Haven had already left, but my mom was still in the doorway. "mom, please. I'm sorry, I just want to go to bed." She sighed, but before she could leave, I asked her, "Can you put the ice cream away and put my spoon in the sink? Please, please, please?" I quickly begged then told her, "I'm depressed."

I watched her roll her eyes as she took the ice cream carton and my spoon, "you're dramatic."

And I was finally alone.

*

I haven't seen or spoken to Noah since Friday night. But rather Noah wanted to or not, we needed to speak about what happened between us. We couldn't just brush that off, and frankly, that would be unfair to me. I needed answers.

When I arrived at school on Monday, I found Noah by his locker looking frustrated as he kicked it, as if that would actually help. I started walking to him, but then I stopped. What was I going to say to him?

**

Idk if I've said this, but the reason I'm able to post so much is because this book is already written. I just have to tweak it and make some adjustments.

So that's why I can post chapters for you guys frequently. Which, I hope you are all enjoying because there's a lot more to come for Noah and Sam! Hehehe

Chapter 20 out soon. Any predictions on how this talk will go... if it goes?
Thank you for reading!

-Xoxo, Bert