-Collide-

~4~

Connor's home life wasn't as great as people thought it as.

It was extremely toxic. Larry and Connor would fight, Connor and Zoe would fight, or Cynthia would fight. That was all that ever went on, and somehow, they'd find something small to fight over.

If Connor was being honest, he hated fighting, but he always took offense to whatever his family said and would lash out irrationally.

Of course Connor had medication for bipolar and depression, but it wasn't exactly right. Connor was still trying to find the right match for him and it was frustrating at times.

Connor had just finished an email to Evan, they were talking about how people should really care for the Earth more, when Zoe knocked on his door.

"Come in," Connor shut his laptop as Zoe entered the room, shutting the door behind her.

"What's up?" He spinned his chair around to face her.

"Just... just wanted to check on you," Zoe combed her fingers through her hair awkwardly. "I'm not sure how you're taking the whole... crashing your car thing."

"It's been like two weeks, Zoe, I'm fine," Connor crossed his arms, not wanting to show her vulnerability.

"Well, you remember how I reacted, right?"

Connor doesn't have to think hard enough to remember Zoe calling her parents in a panic because she accidentally gave someone a fender-bender after a jazz band concert about where her insurance information was. No one was mad at her, granted Larry wasn't looking forward to their insurance going up, but he was still glad she was safe.

"You were freaking the fuck out," Connor simply stated, because that was exactly what'd happened.

Zoe smiled bitterly at the memory. "Mom dropped dad off so he could help me with the insurance business. I couldn't even drive home. I was scared I'd crash the car again."

Zoe was lucky to have nice people help her through it. They were calm and explained to her what she had to do. Connor wasn't so lucky.

"Yeah," Connor laughed. "But remember when my bumper got smashed by that tailgater?"

"Dad was pissed at him." She grinned.

"He was being a bitch!" Connor snorted. "My stupid anxiety made me think it was my fault even though I just stopped at a stop sign."

The two siblings laughed together, and for a moment, things were alright. They were normal siblings, and their relationship wasn't broken.

After that moment had passed, Zoe asked softly, "... What happened to us, Connor?"

Connor looked at her and sighed, "You know what happened, do you want me to say it?"

"No no, of course not," Zoe took a hesitant step towards him. "Things are just so... different between us now."

"I get what you mean. When we were little kids things were easy. I didn't have to swallow a couple of pills to be normal," Connor scoffed.

"You're being too hard on yourself," Zoe crossed her arms and gazed at him softly.

He waved her off, "No, I know. It's just hard being... anything but normal."

"You've made it this far. Things will get better," Zoe sighed.

Memories of Connor crashing into that tree appeared into his mind, how he tried to make himself disappear. How he was frozen in fear, dreading how his parents would react, how he was still alive and breathing. He couldn't tell Zoe anything from that night.