-Collide-

~10~

Trigger Warning- mentions of cutting and suicidal thoughts. I'm also putting one for the "school shooter" joke Jared makes.

The rest of the week was far from easy.

Connor just didn't feel like doing anything. He was hurting and his family was pissed at him so that didn't help a thing.

He mainly just stayed in his room and stared at the ceiling, letting his thoughts take him away. Most times he could practically feel how much his heart hurt. It was like a hole in his chest.

Zoe tried talking to him, but Connor pushed her away. He knew he wasn't doing well and the only thing he cared about was not going back to how they used to be.

"Connor? Um, are you okay?" Zoe didn't know what'd happened, all she knew was that her brother was struggling and upset.

"Not the best... not the worst," Connor admitted, currently laying in his bed. Summer was just about over on that Monday night, and dread loomed in his chest. He didn't want to go back to where he was relentless provoked and had insults thrown over his head.

"Can I come in?" Connor had a feeling he knew why she'd be coming in; to check his arms. While it seemed rational on her end, it wasn't actually true. Connor did feel numb, yes, but he drew on them instead, something Evan had suggested before they separated.

He let out a sigh. He didn't want to worry her, so he conceived, "Yes.."

Zoe took this as her cue to walk inside, and as Connor suspected, her eyes landed on his arms. The sleeves were rolled up, revealing some colorful swirls, dots, and other random assortments. She looked relieved to see this as she sat down in the swivel chair at his desk.

"I'm glad he suggested that to you," she said, gazing at the many patterns littered on his arm. "I don't like seeing your... you know what I'm talking about."

"I don't wanna talk about him," Connor said slowly, turning his head from the ceiling to look at Zoe.

"Shouldn't you try to talk to him?" She pressed on, curiousness audible in her tone.

Connor groaned, grabbing one of the many pillows he had on his bed. It was a pillow pet, something Zoe bought him. It was the ladybug one, and Connor loved it. He rolled onto his side to face away from Zoe and pulled the ladybug close, and buried his face into the soft red fabric. This was pissing him off, but it was also making him sad.

"He hates me..." he mumbled into the pillow. Already he could feel tears in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to be getting this emotional this quickly.

"Really? That's only what you've told me. Do you know if he actually does?" Zoe spun in the chair slowly.

"Well, he should. He probably does. I fucked things up with him," Connor hugged his pillow pet tighter. "Besides, I kissed him. He's probably disgusted by me now."

Zoe sighed, "I don't know, Connor. I only know what you told me about Evan. If anyone's gonna make a decision, it's you."

"If you keep talking about this, I won't talk to you. Drop it," Connor's voice held no venom, he was just so tired and wanted to forget about Evan.

Thankfully, Zoe decided to talk about some sheet music she'd found online and was practicing it. Connor loved listening to her talk about music, she was just really talented with the guitar. Sometimes all Connor could do was just listen to her and smile, because those small type of things made everything worth it.

After a while, Zoe had left, and Connor was left spiraling. He didn't feel happy, while he did have small little flashes, he always ended up back the same. He felt just so undeniably alone. He was back to where he was before; depressed, by himself, and hated by everyone. He couldn't erase what he did to Zoe, he was burdening his mom with worry, and he made things hard for Larry.