The Beast Within (Shinkai/Kaishin)

Bitter Love

Pain and pleasure swirled in his head.

Shinichi wasn't able to grieve any longer.

The tears had stopped and left an empty desert, void of any emotion other than pain. Occasionally, he would catch himself tremble whenever cold metal licked over his skin.
But he felt warm, so warm. His body was on fire the entire time and calmed down for a few hours before everything started all over again. Shinichi learned to accept it. Shinichi began to smile, a lovely and genuine smile which couldn't have been more beautiful... ramed by tears and blood.

Often enough, Shinichi would hear someone banging on his house door... but he never opened nor left the luring sheets of his bed whenever the disturbing noise interrupted his time. Day by day he spent in his house, isolated from family and friends, cherished and protected by his one and only. KID had taken on his identity and roamed among the streets as Kudo Shinichi every day, bringing all kinds of cases home for his dear pet to solve and fooling whoever allowed themselves to be fooled.
Shinichi didn't mind at all. Sharing a bloody kiss with KID, he would lower himself into the leather chair of his father and bend over the files his deadly magician had brought him for today. A nice routine.
Shinichi didn't miss his old life. It was him and KID. The phantom had begun to love him sexually, too... a different kind of torture for his little pet. KID would watch with a smug face the weak attempts of the real Kudo to walk on wobbly legs after a good night, admiring the pale and porcellain alike skin sparkling within the bit of sunlight he allowed to reach into the house.
Shinichi felt as if in trance. Day by day went past him, he had lost feeling into time. He knew day and night, KID's hunger and how to satisfy it, his files and his house.

Hot tears began to roll down his cheeks and gloved fingers stroked over them to catch them all, unwilling to waste any drop onto the floor.
"Shh... I'm here, Meitantei..."
"I know... Thank you, KID..." Shinichi whispered and smiled up at him. He loved the KID, he truly did. Whenever he looked into his face, he fell in love all over again. How much time had passed up until now? A month? Two? Spring was already blooming in his garden, Shinichi had begun to solve his cases on the balcony with a lovely overview into the masses of roses and other flowers which reminded him so much of those the old KID had always left for him.
Shinichi closed his eyes, more tears flowing out, and he leaned into KID's gentle touch.
"KID... do you like roses?" he whispered against his wrist, slightly amused by the surprised expression his phantom made.
"I... I don't know. I like flowers... but I only need you."
KID always was so honest with him and never lied to him. Shinichi found that to be one of the aspects he loved about his magician.
"Don't worry," he smiled and cold indigo eyes wandered towards the garden Shinichi had been staring into, "if it is your wish, I will make sure to make your dreams come true. What are your favorite flowers, Meitantei?"

Shinichi opened his eyes and flashed a glance downwards into the masses of roses, then back at KID to study him for a second. His smile turned bitter and he pressed a gentle kiss onto KID's bare wrist.
"White roses... Like the one you left me on our first meeting as Conan and KID."
Like the one you used to be. Innocent and rid of thorns, so admirable and magnificent, an angel among devils.
More tears threatened to leave his eyes and KID shifted closer so he was able to hug his detective. He was calm, he always was. Shinichi admired him for that.
"Shh..."

For a while, Shinichi cried silently into his chest and began to shudder with every new wave of tears hitting him. The smell of flowers danced around him with a playful spring breeze and it pained him how peaceful it was.
"KID?" he mumbled into his chest and the phantom perked up, immediately paying attention, "Yes?"
"I..." Shinichi hesitated a moment, unsure wether his request would be accepted, "I... I want to go out... with you... onto... onto a date."
For a moment, his heart began to beat faster as the magician denied him an instant response. Was this too much to ask? Shinichi had never left his house after KID had carried him away from Spider's corpse.
"...of course. But stay at my side, yes? I don't want to loose you in public."
Shinichi started to smile and shifted in KID's gentle arms to cuddle him and look over into the garden of Agasa-hakase, secretly wondering what the old man had been doing the entire time. He sure had seen him a few times... surveilled him secretly. But he hadn't spoken to him since at least a month.
"If you promise me to stay the whole time close, too."
"As you wish, Meitantei~"

It was a price he was willing to pay... The wounds, the pain, the blood. KID was his and his alone, the magician trusted him with his life and Shinichi had finally reached what he had always wanted. He had caught the phantom thief. Spider was dead... and he had gotten to know from KID that he had left to chase down Snake and his partners who had broken into the Kudo manor beforehand and killed them all.
Shinichi had been shocked to learn that Spider had been the last one on KID's list... it was a straw too much that an animal had dared to enter his Meitantei's house, had wanted to kill his property. Kaitou were possessive and territorial, there was no chance any would give up what they thought was theirs.
Shinichi noticed how his heart skipped a beat at the thought of belonging to Kaitou KID and him only. As detective and thief, he would have been angry... but this was about his one and only, the one he was ready to go to hell and back for. This was his hell, his punishment for not paying better attention on his rival before he became like this.

Shinichi flinched as he heard the doorbell ring, followed by a loud and demanding knock from the front door. Almost immediately the detective rose from his seat, gathered hastily his files, cup of tea, and spilled half of it over himself while trying to get as fast as possible back into his safe four walls. KID accompanied him with a frown, steadying his Meitantei's not too secure legs.
Again the person who had been bothering them, interrupting them, persistently demanding entrance. KID placed a gentle kiss on Shinichi's head and watched him curl up in his father's leather chair, frightened to see whoever was disturbing their peace and could possibly take his KID away.
"I will go and check who it is. Wait here."
"P-pay attention!" Shinichi stammered in a higher voice than usual and KID had to stifle a snicker. He had trained and raised his Meitantei well.

Blond hair, a desperate and hopeless expression on his face, fairly young... perhaps in Shinichi's age. Nineteen? Twenty? KID glared at him through the doorspy and almost immediately, the blond male backed a step away, obviously feeling the definitely hostile aura from behind the door.
KID tilted his head, going through various possibilities of what to do with this persistant guy... he had seen him save his Meitantei's life, that was a bonus point. So he shouldn't kill him right away. What did he want from his belonging? KID paused for a moment and flashed a glance through the doorspy again, glad that it worked only one way. Meitantei had never mentioned him before or met him, as far as KID knew. At least KID knew his name.

Hakuba Saguru, detective.