The Beast Within (Shinkai/Kaishin)

Hide me

Shinichi closed his eyes, trying to focus onto his deafening heartbeat. In those moments, whenever the intruder knocked at his door, Shinichi saw how he had found the KID in the dark and eery forest, void of any emotion and love. White within darkness, darkness within the white.

You've got such a kind heart... I want to rip it out of your ribcage.

The way how dead his indigo eyes had glared into his soul, made him defenseless, paralized him... it had been frightening to say the least. But those eyes had changed... from emptiness to interest and obsession.
A tiny smile tugged at the corners of Shinichi's lips. He had formed the KID into something different... something able to love him and cherish him. Shinichi wasn't going to loose the KID again, never again. KID was a monster, a beast whose leash he held close to his heart. Was that selfish? Most likely. The murderous KID listened to him, protected him, loved him and followed his every request. In exchange, Shinichi had given his body and soul for him to torment, play and form them after his wishes and desires.
Tears prinkled in his eyes as he heard another demanding knock at the front door; Shinichi wrapped his arms around his legs and made himself as small as possible. Who was that? Who wanted to destroy everything he had worked for?
Most certainly, either Hakuba Saguru or Hattori Heiji. He could imagine either of them was persistant enough to come back every day. No... it was Hakuba. Hakuba's manners forbid him to break in or call the police, yet his persistance forced him back every single day.
Why didn't he understand? Why was he coming back?

Please go away! KID isn't Kuroba Kaito any longer! Kuroba Kaito died... Please leave... Please...

Shinichi lifted his head a bit from his knees and blinked twice into the sunlight from outside. He had to do something... KID wasn't going to return the way he had been, never again. A last heist... a last heist to bid his farewell, a last heist that bleaches the soiled cape of Kaitou KID.
Shinichi nodded to himself. He was going to be there, cheer for him, surveil him, make sure he was going to be alright. Shinichi breathed out a tiny sigh and shook his head. The last heist. He was going to miss those evenings, nights... The riddles KID used to write, the exitement, the world of dreams Kaitou KID would introduce to him... and the fun he had during this chase, to uncover the hidden mysteries behind each and every wonder KID showed to him...
Another use of the doorbell pulled him out of his plans and he flinched slightly, head ducked back into his arms. He was hiding. Why was he hiding so much?

KID... I am here for you...

Shinichi began to smile lightly, gently brushing over one of his endless scars. In a way, he was also protecting the KID. From police, from murderers, from the BO... from anyone who dared to try and harm him.

Enough.

Shinichi stood up on shaking legs and inched closer to the door of his father's office, trying to gather his last bravery... where was the proud and reckless Kudo Shinichi? Upon destruction and gruesome corpses, he used to be at his best. Slowly pushing himself out, Shinichi felt the fear rising in his bones. He had to find out who this was. Only the stairs down into the first floor and it was done...

"KID?" he whispered, recognizing the frozen male in front of the door. KID sighed and lowered his head.
"Bad Meitantei... didn't I tell you to wait?"
"Enough... e-enough of hiding, KID. I want to see who it is... at least that. It... it's Hakuba, isn't it?"
KID kept his silence for a second, then nodded lightly. "What does he want from you, Meitantei? Why does he visit every day? And that at the same hour, the same minute?"
Shinichi couldn't stifle that small chuckle and he leaned against the magician, carefully peeking out of the doorspy to see the blond with the same hopeless and defeated expression he had seen once they had bursted into KID's room.
"He is not here because of me, KID. He wants to see you. But... I-I won't allow that. He will take you away," Shinichi stated, voice cracking at the end. KID paused for a moment, eyes wandering from the door over to his Meitantei.
When had the roles switched?
Since when was he the one who was hidden away inside these walls?

"Who is Hakuba Saguru really, Meitantei?"

Shinichi's teeth sank into his bottom lip, trying to suppress the wave of guilt which overcame him. He should have told him but he hadn't.
"Hakuba... Hakuba knows Kuroba Kaito. He has been searching for him since his disappearance... He used to be his classmate and old rival."
Shinichi felt only worse the longer KID didn't say a tone. The magician knew why Shinichi spoke of Kuroba Kaito in third person... Kuroba Kaito didn't belong to him any longer. He was a shadow of the former magician, a monster. His name was KID.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
The voice was stern and accusing. Shinichi flinched, fingers clenching around KID's sleeve to tighten his grip on him.
"I-I figured... he would... he would take you from me. He used to hunt you, KID. He still does. What if he-"
"Shinichi."
The detective clenched his teeth and lowered his head. KID rarely used his name and it felt weird to hear it out of his mouth, no matter in which tone. A hand on his cheek forced him to meet KID's eyes again.
"You can run, you can hide... but wherever you are, I will find you. You are mine. No matter if Hakuba tries to seperate us... I will find you again and take you with me."

Shinichi felt how his face grew warm at KID's possessive words, this was what he had always wanted.
"Thank you... I will make sure to protect you from others, too." Shinichi stilled for a second, flashed a glance at the door and sighed, hands letting go of his magician's arm.
"Go hide. I-I... I-I will let him in."
"Meitantei..." KID warned with a blank expression and Shinichi shivered as he grabbed his wrist. A quiet whimper went past his lips as KID dug his nails into his wrist, leaving tiny marks. "...not today."
The same sparkle Shinichi loved and feared appeared within those indigo eyes. Chills ran down Shinichi's spine as KID pulled him into his arms and dragged a knife across his nape, drawing a pained mewl from his detective.

Hakuba stared at the door which parted him from his suspect and his victim. He had to give up, there was no other way. Barely any sign was there that someone was living within those walls. Hakuba sighed and lowered his head, suppressing his overwhelming emotions. Perhaps this was the end... maybe he wasn't going to meet Kuroba ever again face to face. Deep in thought, he turned away, his inner clock telling him he had only a few minutes left until his next appointment.
But as he heard the muffled scream of Kudo Shinichi just behind this damned door, hell broke loose inside the London detective.