Kitten Troubles

Chapter 16

Tom found himself sitting on the window seat in the library later that week, thinking about how he could even bring himself to talk to Harry about their situation. He was so lost in his own thoughts that when he heard Harry's voice behind him, he jumped.

"Would you like to take a walk with me, Tom?" After he regained his composure, he took Harry's hand and let him lead him out to the gardens. They leisurely strolled through the grass, hand in hand, neither one of them saying anything.

"I thought we needed a moment alone to talk about where we stand. I don't want to pressure you, and I don't want you to think that I'm only interested because of my instincts. I've been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of reflection lately, and I worry that you think it's to appease the demon side of me."

Tom inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla and lilac, unwilling to say anything that would ruin the moment. "Yes, I am worried. I don't want anyone to be with me because they don't want to be, either with fear or instinct. I closed myself off to the idea of love and relationships long ago, for who could love such a twisted monster? I don't wish to open myself back up to it, if it is only for the physical satisfaction on your end." They stopped, pausing to admire the lush garden flowers.

"It isn't just physical. From everything that I have read, it is physical for the need to reproduce but then if they live through the shift that caused the instincts to arise it always ends in amazing relationships. It's possible that that's made up, but I don't believe that we would have the instinct to mate with just anybody. If that were the case, why would it only be with one person? Why wouldn't it be with everyone that's around us?" Tom nodded. It made sense, he was just afraid of being hurt.

"I just don't want you to realize you could have done better." At this, Harry roared with laughter.

"I have done things worse than your nightmares. If anyone should be running away, it is you. You saw me grow up, so perhaps you are forgetting that I am a dark creature by nature." Harry took a tentative step towards him, his expression softening. "I understand your fear of being left. I am also afraid that one day you will leave me. But isn't that what it's all about? Taking a leap of faith and trusting in your companion?" He gestured to the garden. "These plants cannot survive without the sun and rain. Too much or too little and they will perish. But they trust that the sun will give them the nourishment they need and that the rain will come to refresh them. They trust in the bees to pollinate and reproduce, and the bees trust in the flowers to give them enough pollen to create honey."

Tom took a small step towards Harry, lifting his face so he could see it better. He lost himself in the swirl of the green eyes staring back and heard himself say "I am willing to trust if you are." Harry's face brightened as he smiled.

"I would very much like that." They stayed that way, staring into each other's eyes, until the sun started to descend and the air cooled a few degrees. They walked back to the manor, Harry leading them up to his private section. Tom was surprised when he didn't get stuck in the stairs, but didn't think too much of it. He was just curious as to where he was being led.

They arrived to Harry's room, where a tray of wine and fruit were awaiting them. Harry smiled and grabbed the tray before leaving again and taking Tom to a living room where they sat down on the large plush couch.

"I thought some wine would be a good idea, to help us open up more to each other. I've never been one for drinking to break the ice, but somehow I feel that this would help us immensely." Tom agreed and gladly took the glass that was offered him.

They talked about superficial things that they had already touched on in the past until the wine kicked in, which didn't take a terribly long time. Tom went to pour themselves more wine, while asking Harry about his previous love life.