Kitten Troubles

Chapter 15

Once he arrived back at the manor, Tom put on some tea for him and Severus. They settled into the library, quietly discussing the events of the last twenty-four hours. It wasn't until Severus spoke up after a few moments of silence that the conversation went deeper than the surface.

"Forgive me, but you're happier now than you used to be."

"What are you on about Severus?"

"Well," he sipped his tea for a moment before continuing. "You were so fueled by sadness for so long, that I truly believed that you had forgotten how to be happy. That maybe the reason you pushed us as hard as you did, due to your unhappiness and your general disregard for the emotions of those around you." Tom took pause, reflecting on the past.

"I believe that you may be right. I didn't see how I could let one man destroy the world and was bitter that I had given up my entire life to ensure that this man didn't completely ruin the future of the Wizarding World. After I made the horcruxes to make sure I would live long enough to ensure that the world wouldn't end, so to speak, I knew no one would have me due to my appearance alone. Not to mention the danger I had put the world in by starting these wars to begin with. It's nice to see someone accept me as who I am and I am eternally grateful for the restoration of my body."

They sipped their tea in comfortable silence, reflecting on where they were in their lives and how they had come to get there.

"Severus?"

"Hm?" Severus looked up from his tea, curious as to what he would be asked.

"Be truthful. Do you think that I will ever have a chance at falling in love? Or am I so twisted by what I have done in the past that no one remotely good for me would dare to be near me? The truth, please."

Severus hesitated, clearly anticipating saying the wrong thing. He cleared his throat before responding.

"Well...I think that, with everything that has happened in the past...particularly with the way that the war was painted to the public's eyes, most people probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you. If not for fear for themselves and their families, then for fear of what the rest of society will say and do to them. Most have been relatively calm about the truth of what really happened, but there are still groups that are being very...vocal. I do not think it is unreasonable that someone could care for you romantically; however, your chances are most likely far slimmer than the average person." Severus sipped at his tea to cover up his nervousness.

"I appreciate the honesty. I worry, though. Not for someone to love me, but is my heart twisted beyond caring for someone else that way?" Severus's reply was quick this time.

"You are capable of far more than you realize. Part of the reason you and Dumbledore were so evenly matched is because you are capable of the very thing he said you weren't. He thought you weren't capable of love. That you didn't possess emotions beyond hate and anger. But I saw your face when you caught sight of me as I held Lily all those years ago. You regretted causing me pain. You didn't want to kill her because you knew it would hurt me so deeply." He paused, silently debating if he wanted to continue with his train of thought. "I've seen the way you look at, well someone, recently. You're capable of loving someone. And I think that with a little time, someone could love you too." With that, Severus put down his teacup and took his leave silently.

Tom sat there, thinking on what he was just told. Had Severus really noticed? He thought he had been more discreet than that. But Severus was notorious for his incredible observation skills. Perhaps no one else had noticed.

Harry rounded the corner, face buried into a large book bound in practically ancient leather. Tom watched him cross the room, put the book on a rather tall shelf and run his fingers over the spines of the texts, looking for a different book to pull out. He pulled out a smaller, much newer looking book and turned around, heading towards the door. His hair was tangled and didn't flow behind him the way it usually did. Tom quietly got up and followed him towards his section of the castle before watching him walk up to his private section of the mansion.

He sighed and went outside to the garden. The fountain water was practically dancing in the shade, the flowers bursting with fragrance. He plopped down on a bench. Suddenly, a small burst of sparkle started floating in front of his face, pulling him out of his own mind. It was one of the fairies, trying to get his attention.

"What can I do for you?" The fairy blushed and landed on his outstretched hand to sit down.

"I can't help but feel how melancholy your magic is. What's the matter? Lover's quarrel?"

"No, no nothing like that. More that, I'm not sure if I can love anyone. And especially with my past, if anyone could even love me."

"You have good intentions. You've done terrible things to keep the world working in relative harmony because you didn't want to see millions suffer at the hands of a madman. I think that's quite admirable. And I know someone else on these grounds thinks so too."

"You really think so? I'm afraid of opening up to anyone, of losing what I want most. It's complicated." Before he could continue, the fairy stood up on his hand.

"You're afraid that he is only interested because of his instincts. That he only wants you because there is a shift happening in the world and his inner creature wants to procreate. This is untrue. Instincts are only physical. The relationship that he wishes to build, that's emotional. That's him truly wanting to give you two a shot. If it was just instincts then he would have had you already to ensure his line will continue and be done with it. My rosebush is feeling particularly lonely, so I will have to bid you adieu. Just know that he has confessed worry over you not wishing to be with him as well. Talking together may cause a better turn of events than you think it will." The fairy took off towards a pink rosebush, leaving Tom with his thoughts.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for them to sit down and talk about their relationship. To focus on them a little, rather than just slipping in a kiss every once in a blue moon. Maybe if that were to happen, they could get to know each other more intimately. Maybe they could even fall in love.