I
Sliding down the runway
At a hundred miles an hour
The roar of the engines
The sweep of the wind
Patient waiting
In the terminal
Under the pale, green lights
Beside the ominous faces of the dead
My love enters fast
She is jet lag bound
Suitcases in one hand
The other, heavy hand on heart
Furies thunder bash
Light my way
Give me strength
In a heart-felt moment
Generous arms await me
In a place greater than this
If only I were there
Rather than here
With a loveless love
And a heartless heart
The figure before me
Beats like a thorn
II
Speeding along the highway
At a hundred miles an hour
The din of my eardrums
The sweep of my stomach
Voice box blaring
Eardrums bursting
Nerves erupting
Patience thinning
But, I control the beast
Within me, let it
Sleep, let it
Wait
The day will be
When I will see
The beast awakened
And I will step aside for it
But, not until then
Not until then
It must not be
It can not be
Loveless statue beside me
Fingers tap, tap, tapping away
My mind
Twitch, twitch, twitching away
Back and forth we go
Like a tennis ball
Never to find comfort
But in a sleepless night
III
Home sweet home
Nowhere a heart can be found
But I am bound
Like a creation to its master
For that is what I am
But a creation
A thing to be controlled
A thing to be manipulated
To be cajoled,
Mistreated, poked fun at
And, finally,
Humiliated before all
It is a desperate existence
That calls for desperate measures,
But, not yet
Not yet
The time must be right
The time must be correct
Without which
All shall be lost
And that would be a shame
To gain all, but
To lose it all
At the final moment
When the sand winds down
And the dew-drops glisten
And the sun fades
And the screen goes to black
It is the final moment
When all will be tested
When I will be tested
And I must not fail
Because to fail would
Be absurd
It would be down right
Foolish
Such a simple thing
As this, and to fail
In the final act;
Impossible
But not inconceivable
Not improbable
Could it be that
I missed something
Some vital nominal, however
Insignificant, thing
Something not before
Envisioned
How unpredictable a
Nature I would have
To have slipped up
On something so small
It's almost improbable
To comprehend such
A notion, such
An act
But it's there
It is here
In me
I must face it
But not now
Not here
Not in front of her
Evil eyes
Tonight, when she sleeps
With her eyes closed
And her mind shut
Not seeing me
IV
Darkness falls upon the homestead
A shining light upon my soul
For with the darkness comes
Sleep; and the final acting place
New life appears in the dark;
Because of the dark –
It draws them out
It beckons them on
A soulful apogee of being
The moon; it soars across
The thick black sky
Making beasts of us all
I am no exception
I never claimed to be
It is no intention of mine
I kind of enjoy it
Sleeping children dream
Their dreams while I
Plot my plot to
Finish this poetical slaughter
Beating heart within my chest
Blackened ember within hers
We share a house
And I'll give her away
To death
To hell
To wherever
She might go
As long as it's
Far away from me
It could be
Neverland for all I care
V
Utensils abide their time
Within the house, awaiting
Use for more daring
Things than flattery
Choosing one carefully
For its flattery
And its butchery
I'm about to commit a travesty
Not against you
Not against me
(It's pleasure for me)
But against the thing that calls itself a wife
It is not of this world
Nor should it be
And it is up to me
To send it back to whence it came
Sleeping it was
As I knew it would be
This'll be easy
This'll be simple
Like stealing candy
From a baby
Or selling the
Brooklyn Bridge
It's all in the wrist
And, also,
A mind game
And my mind was keen
No troubles
No worries
Done in a flash
Like a shot in the dark
And that it was
A shot in the dark
A moment in time
It was done; my life begins anew
But, something unexpected
Something unpredictable
Something not foreseen
Blew it all away
Like a grain of sand
Like a candle
Like dust
Like life
You see, she was not alone
In this world of ours
There were others;
Others, I say
They came down on me
Before I could do a thing
And I was done in
By my own narrow-minded being
Now I must,
Like others similar to me,
Spend the rest of eternity
In Hell with Her
June 20, 1996
