I look to the sun-filled blue skies
And wonder where I might have gone wrong;
How could I have made you see
My love for you –
If I had things to do differently
I would have told you every word
That lurked within the chambers of
My heart, would have made you listen
To the pain and agony you being so close
To me brought on to me by my inability
To tell you how I felt –
I spoke to you many times, looked into your eyes
But you never saw my love for you nor
Felt my anguish for my lack of speech, even
As I spoke – I shall never know if you
Felt as I had, but I wonder if you had, would
You have seen my love for you in my eyes –
My heart breaks every time we meet, as if for
The first time;
My heart breaks every time we speak of this
And that and never of my true feelings;
My heart breaks every time we say goodbye, for
I know you go on with your life even as mine shatters –
Shall my life ever feel the love that you seem to
Find without me? Shall I ever feel anything but
The agony of the empty space that only you can
Fill? You have said that only time will speak of
Love, yet I know you were not speaking of my love,
For how shall you know of it? None listen to my
Words within words, nor look within my eyes to see
My true emotions and I am at a loss to speak
Those true words and feel those true emotions –
Every shattering mirror has come into being at every
Moment of true emotion spoken by my lips, so as
To make me afraid to speak anymore, yet how can
I live, how can I survive, without your love? I know not.
June 6, 1999
