Time is fleeting
I am weeping
At this feeling
For life is peeling
I look at things
As I pass them
See the road signs
Change with everlasting indemnity
Will it ever stop
Will I ever get a chance
To step off this
Carousel and take a breath
Everlasting change
Never a moment
The roses are fading
The thorns only remain
Prickly as I touch them
Red blotches upon the ground
If only I could smell the
Roses as well as I feel the thorns
Once upon a time
Very long ago
The time was sweeter
And things didn't matter so much
Societal junk heap
Dumps its garbage
Upon us and we
Accept it without comment
I look around
At the world
See it spinning
Endlessly, over and over
Getting dizzy
Falling over
Becoming distant
Oh my, isn't this fun
If I were the only one
To feel the pain
All would be well
All would be well
But others feel it
More than I
Much more than I
But, I more than them?
It would be strange
It would be odd
If I were a frog
But, alas, I am not
Back breaks under
The weight of a
Thousand hearts breaking
And breaking and breaking
'Round and 'round
We go, where we
Stop, no one
Knows
Look at the sky
See the sun setting
And the moon rising
But not a star to be seen
Not a star to steer by
Not a star to wish by
Not a single star to
Fill my everlasting dreams with
We forget what the heavens
Look like, only know a
Smoke-filled night with
Never a shooting star to hope by
Pushed down before we get
Started, before we begin
Grasping at straws
Clawing at stone
Even water, alas,
Takes time to
Wear down the
Stone
Hard, so hard
To understand why
Or how it came
About
Hope and pray
Reach up, but
My grasp fails me
Fails me every time
Mosquitoes bite at my
Flesh; spray
Chemicals and oxides to
Kill them off
Only reminder of their
Very existence is
An itch, and a scratch
That fades in time
Fades like a wounded
Memory, like a tick
That we never wanted
Or will ever think about
The empty glass
Sits on the table
Sitting there like
A dead bug
Without a thought
Without a feeling
Only a piece of
Objective memorial
Once was there
But, gone
Gone without a thought
Or a feeling
Belonging to me
This feeling of helplessness
This feeling of homelessness
It eats me from the inside
Painless dreams
Invade my thoughts
Whether it be waking or
Sleeping, matters not
The uncontrollable dreams
All that I look
Forward to when there
Is nothing, and no one, else
To share my pain with
To share my anguish with
To share my hopes and
Dreams with
Create people and
Places to replace those
That have left me
That I have left
Not willingly left
Never willingly left
Can never turn around
As a child, when forced to leave
Free to move
Free to stay
Free to do as I please
If it were that simple
I could be there
Instead of here
I could be with her
And be happy, simply
Purely, simply,
Effortlessly, lovely
Dream a little dream
For me
For my dreams are
Nearly used up
Dried up
Shriveled up
Easy to lose the way
Easy to forget the way
Don't even know it until
The doors to dreamland are locked
The key has
Fallen down a ditch
Beyond arms reach
Growing rusty with age
I weep a tear at the thought
I shed a drop of blood
And feel my heart shatter
Like a pane of glass under a hammer
The broken glass cuts
And wounds
Leaving scars that
Never fade with age
Those are the only signs
Of a past long gone
And a memory long dissolved
If only it were more
Something to hold onto
Something to cling to
Except for empty promises
And bottomless lies
They said all would be well
All would be good
Just be a good little child
And everything would work out
But the best never comes
The just never wins
The good never triumph
And evil comes out on top in the end
We all die, you see,
Every single one of us
Sooner or later
One way or another
A morbid thought, that is,
I know, but true
Very true
Very dreadfully true
Reality catches up with
Us sooner or later
It hits us in the back
Of the head and knocks us over
Fall on our faces
Noses bleed, but
It cares not
Only that it has caught up
We try to fight
We try to hit back
But nothing is there
Nothing is there
It is only us
That we fight
That we punch
And kick and kill
And where have we
Learned to kick and kill
But from those that have
Come before us
And those that come after
Us learn also
Also learn
Also see
And the cycle continues
Continue the cycle
From them to us
And from us to them
August 12, 1996 – August 15, 1996
