if you look at him, he'll kill you!

11: tell me why

a/n TELL ME WHY AINT NOTHIN BUT A-

tw/ talk of death
-

joshua was still in awe.

he couldn't believe he just did that.

him and tyler were continuing their walk home, tyler refused to let josh carry him on his back.

they walked in silence for a couple of minutes, the only noise being the scuffing of joshua's shoes and the clicking of tyler's crutches against the cement, before tyler spoke up.

"josh?" he looked up, glancing at josh before looking back at the ground to watch where he was going. josh slightly grunted in response. "why'd you do it?"

"the fight? i couldn't see you like-"

"no, joshua. that's not what i'm talking about," tyler sighed, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"then what do you mean?" josh asked, stopping as well and turning to look at the injured boy.

"why'd you listen to them? on your first day of school? why did you choose to believe them and then lie about what had really happened? i got in trouble that day. a hell of a lot of trouble. so i just wanna know why you did what you did."

josh felt terrible. this was one of the worst feelings he'd ever had in his life. "i, um, i-"

"i just wanna know, josh."

"i'm sorry."

"okay. but why'd you do it?"

josh didn't know if he was ready to reveal why he had to move here. but he figured it was only fair and he had already fucked tyler over more times than he could count.

he paused for about a minute before deciding to finally talk about it.

"at my old school i was, to put it nicely, not very popular. i was thrown around and beaten and yelled at and it was horrible. and uh, and my ex, he ended up being the cause of it all. he'd trick me into thinking he loved me and he'd do anything for me and then he ended up telling people all of my secrets and how i was in bed and he'd make up all of these lies about who i was. it wasn't very fun. and when my parents finally realized what was going on they called the school and it just escalated.

i got called a snitch and everyone just hated me for no reason. and i couldn't deal with it anymore. i- i did something to myself. and my parents finally said it was the last straw and they put me in therapy. and i hated it more than anything. i couldn't stand being put in this room with some guy who didn't even really care what i had to say. i'd tell him i got attacked on my way home from school and he'd respond with well, have you tried telling a trusted adult? a teacher? a parent? like, no shit sherlock. that's the whole fucking reason i'm here," josh laughed, smiling a little when he heard tyler laugh too.

"and then one day everything got a hell of a lot worse. my um, my dad was driving my little siblings, jordan and ashley home from school and they got hit by a bus. ashley didn't make it and i swear, hearing that news hurt me more than anything i had ever experienced at school," josh paused to wipe the tears from his eyes, looking up to see tyler almost crying as well.

"and i started having to double up on my therapy appointments. rather than being there for an hour two times a week, i was there for 2 to 3 hours for four days a week and i was at my lowest point. and i felt selfish because i attempted again. and then when i woke up in the hospital with my mom and my dad and my six year old brother just staring at me, i realized i had royally fucked up. they had just lost a daughter a month before and i almost caused them to lose their son and i couldn't forgive myself for that.

after that, my mom decided that we couldn't stay in that town anymore. hell, she didn't even wanna stay in the state. so we left ohio and we moved here, of all places for some reason i'm not exactly sure of, my mom got a job. she had a bunch of offers but she took this one. and so when i got to school and jack told me those things, i was so scared. i was worried that if i befriended you and not them, i'd become the outcast again. i couldn't deal with that pressure so i just sided with jack. i was so desperate to have friends and to not be alone. and i didn't think about how you felt about it. but then i started noticing when you'd come to school, limping and wincing with every movement. and then i'd see the half ass attempts at putting makeup on that purple face of yours and i ended up putting things in perspective. you weren't dangerous, you were just hurt. and i'm so sorry i didn't realize it sooner."

joshua had tears flowing down his face, his whole body shaking. when he looked up, he saw that tyler was crying too.

"josh, i'm so sorry about your sister."

josh sobbed again, trying his hardest to muffle it with his hand. "i'm so sorry for doing this to you, tyler."

-

934 words

i'm SO sorry it took so long omg

i just feel a bit weird writing joshler knowing that tyler has a baby on the way.

anyway, if you haven't noticed, i have rebranded.

i'm not allycatlovestories anymore, now i'm worldwarjoy.

btw my first name is actually cheyanne and i've been going by my middle name(allyson) so you can call me either... or ally or lee or chey or anne i don't really care tbh

okay byyyeee