Finding Your Person

Chapter 13

Have you ever heard someone say they  felt like they were gasping for air, or when someone said that they were curled up in a ball, crying their eyes out. I never understood that feeling. Sure I've cried, and believe me, everyone around me can testify to me constantly being an emotional wreck at movies or even commercials. Heck, I'll cry my eyes out when I hear someone give a motivational speech. I just never understood the gasping pain of heartbreak. The pain that made you feel like you were suffocating. The pain that made your chest feel like there was a fifty pound weight sitting on you. Every breath I took in these moments of pain felt like I was being stabbed in the heart.
It was Saturday morning, and I didn't want to leave my bed. Lying there, my dad knocked on the door.
"Can I come in, Mas?" he said, poking his head in.
"Yes," I whispered, curled up in a ball under my covers. He walked in, closing the door behind him and sat down beside me. He placed his hand on the top of my head.
"You okay, kiddo?" he said with a soft concerning smile.
"I just feel like I don't have anyone. Garrett was my best friend. And now he's gone. And I feel so alone."
"Honey, it hasn't even been a whole day yet," he responded with a huge grin, trying to make me laugh.
"I know, but I never realized that not only would I be losing my boyfriend but the person I'm closest too and my best friend. I never had a Liam like Brady. Garrett was suppose to be my person."
"Honey, it took me twenty-five years of my life before I found my person. Your person is out there."
"I know, but why is it that Brady found his at such a young age. It's not fair."
"Maybe Brady found his so young, because," he paused and started to laugh to himself, "I honestly don't know how Brady would function without having someone to help him through everyday life. Let's be honest, Brady isn't the most independent person."
I laughed, but then went right back to feeling sorry for myself. "I just wish I still had him to talk to."
"You might not have realized this, because you are so focused on finding that one person, but maybe you need to become your own person. Be that person for yourself. You need to stop worrying about who you need to make you happy, and start knowing that you can be happy on your own. Be there for yourself, honey. Start realizing that you might not have one person, because you've been blessed with so many people. Don't take them for granted. You have your whole family. You have two best friends, Scotty and Gabby, who would do anything for you. You have two brothers who admire and love you and two parents that want you to be happy more than anything."
I started to tear up. I never thought about it that way. My dad kissed my forehead.
"I love you, Dad."
"I love you, too. Now why don't you come downstairs. Brady and Liam are here. Gabby left a little bit ago but said she'd be coming back."
"Maybe a little later. I'm still kind of tired."
"Sure thing. I'll be back to check on you later."
"Okay," I said, giving him a simple smile, trying my best to make it look genuine. I curled up in a ball not wanting to move.
I looked at my phone checking to see if Garrett had texted me at all. He didn't. I was so heartbroken by the fact that he didn't even want to see if I was okay.
I heard a knock on my door, I was sure that it was Brady when two people barged in jumping on my bed. It was Gabby and Scotty.
"How you feeling?" Gabby said, getting under the covers on my left side.
"Upset."
Scotty curled up under the covers on my right. "Mas, I'm sorry I wasn't there last night."
"It's okay. How's Jay?" I asked.
"Hungover," she responded. We all let out a quick laugh.
Scotty went on. "But you'll be proud to know he won the beer pong game for you last night. He wanted me to tell you, to help cheer you up."  I couldn't help but laugh.  He was one of the good ones. He was so kind and truly cared about all of Scotty's friends.
"Tell him I'm very proud," I said.  I could feel the tears starting to swell up in my eyes. My eyes must have looked so bloodshot from crying almost every ounce of water out of my body. Neither of them said anything about it though.
"I love you," Gab said, leaning her head on my shoulder.
"I love you, too." Scotty rested her head on my other shoulder.
"I love you both."
It was quiet for awhile. All of us knew we didn't have to talk for us to be in each other's company.
"You want to watch some TV? I didn't see the new episode of Grey's from Thursday night," Scotty said, sitting up on the bed.
"I'm only on Season 3, Episode 2." Gabby quickly sat up.
"Why are we friends? Alright, that's it, we are bingeing Greys today, ladies. I know you both had so many plans, but cancel them," Scotty sarcastically said.
" I don't know if I can reschedule my plans, Scotty. I have a lot of wallowing in self pity left to do," I replied.
"Shut up," she said, hitting my leg. 
"Alright, I'll go grab some popcorn. Do we want ice cream?" Gabby jumped up from the bed.
"Gabby, it's not even 10 o'clock yet," Scotty said.
"You've never had ice cream and waffles for breakfast, just without the waffles?" Gabby shot back. Scotty and I started to laugh hysterically. The way she said things was just goofy and funny.
"Alright, I'm going to close the blinds. It's already like a cave in here, but we're doing a complete blackout, ladies," Scotty said, turning the TV on, walking over to my windows.
"I'll be right back. Any request for drinks?" Gabby looked back at us before she walked out the door.
"I'll just have a water," I responded.
"Get me a Sprite. Make sure my popcorn has extra butter, too."
"It's not even 10 o'clock in the morning, Scotty.  You sure you want soda?" I said mocking her.
"Shut up." She looked at me with a devilish grin.
"Okay. Okay." Gabby laughed and walked out the door.
A minute went by with us in silence, as Scotty tried to set up the television.
"Scotty?" I said trying to get her to look at me.
"Yeah?" She could tell my voice had been serious and decided to walk over and sit on the edge of my bed.
"In all seriousness, did you like Garrett?" I asked.
"No." She was never one to beat around the bush. She continued, "I just thought you could do better."
"Why didn't anyone tell me that?"
"Why would we? We all want you to be happy, and you were way too sucked up in Garrett that if we did tell you, well, you probably would have been pissed at us."
"I just wish I knew."
"If you knowing we didn't think you guys were great for each other, would you have broken up with him?" she asked.
"Well, I don't know," I said in a hushed voice.
"Exactly, it's a hard situation."
"Well, next time you promise to tell me?"
"Well, if the next time is any guy other than Liam, I don't like him already," she said. I threw a pillow at her.
"You two have to be together." She shrugged her shoulders, then got up and continued to mess with the TV.
"Stop with that!" I said with a smile smothered across my face.
"Don't even." She stood there with her hand on her hip.
"Don't even what?"
"Say he's like a brother to you, because he's not. You've never seen him like that, and maybe you couldn't admit it because you were with Garrett. I think he's always liked you."
"This isn't a fairytale, Scotty. Things like that just don't exist."
"Who are you?" Her face looked exaggerated with surprised.
"I don't know, I guess."
"You are just upset, Mag. You'll be okay eventually and as much as you hate to admit it, you'll never not be a hopeless romantic. You'll have your own version of a fairytale one day."
Gabby walked back into the room, holding three bags of popcorn and three drinks, plus a tub of ice cream; and I must say, I was truly impressed.
"Alright, I got everything we need," Gabby said.
"Wow, such a nutritional breakfast," I joked as I grabbed one of the bags from her hands.
"Mint chocolate chip, okay? I know it's one of your favorites, but there was also Rocky Road which is your ultimate favorite. Liam said I should go with the mint chocolate chip though, because..."
Before she could get the words out I butted in, "because it's a morning thing."
"Yeah, that's what he said," Gabby replied, skeptical of why I knew that.
"Why is that a morning thing?" Scotty asked. Both of them had their eyes on me as I began opening up the tub of ice cream.
"As much as I love Rocky Road, you can't have something that sweet and chocolatey in the morning, without it upsetting my stomach for the rest of the day. Mint chocolate chip is sweet, but it's refreshing. Therefore mint chocolate chip can be a morning thing." I began eating it and when I picked my head up they both looked at each other as I began to eat. I looked at them, confused.
"What?" I asked looking back and forth between the two of them.
"Ohh nothing." Scotty replied.
"Okay, are we ready?" Gabby asked jumping in bed next to me.
"Yeah. Give me one second." Scotty walked over to the bed and got under the covers next to me. She grabbed her bag of popcorn, and then hit play.