After the party started we've discovered a mini bar next to the pool. Of course Minsung attacked the bar firstly along with Wooyoung and San. I decided to get to know Mingi and his friends better. He told me that he also liked dancing with his boyfriend Yunho. They are really nice by the way. San and Wooyoung can be a little loud sometimes but living with Jisung and Jeongin is be the same.
As time flew I started drinking, Minsung were already wrecked (how surprising), Woojin went home claiming his head hurt. Chan was with Jeongin obviously. I decided to look after a very drunk Changbin but as I started getting tipsy my original intentions got messed up. His black hair was wet from swimming and he had the biggest smile ever. That made me also smile and went to him.
"Hey Lixieee." he said. He sounded really drunk but I didn't really care. "Hello Bin, having fun I see." I went closer to him. He quickly hugged me, seeming innocent. However his innocence turned to mischief and he threw me into the swimming pool. When I reached the surface and opened my eyes I saw him smirking and laughing like a naughty child. I climbed out of the swimming pool and started chasing him.
"Get back here!" I yelled as I ran after him. Soon I got him and attacked him with tickles, knowing very well that he was very ticklish. "S-Stop!" he laughed. I continued on until I got an idea. I stopped tickling him and picked him up, bridal style. We went back to the pool where I made sure that his phone wasn't in his pocket. Once he realized what I was about to do he clung to me even more, making it impossible to throw him in the pool.
"I guess I don't have a choice..." I said before jumping in the pool, still carrying him. We both laughed like idiots. "This is fun Lixie." he said. I just smiled at him, enjoying that he was having fun. Lately he has been feeling a lot more depressed and sad, because his parents just got divorced. He didn't live with them anymore but it still had a big effect on him. Especially that his father can get angry easily and he also has a drinking problem.
"What else would you like to do?" I asked him. He thought for a second before answering. "We should go and find ice cream." I nodded and followed him. We first searched the mini bar which only had drinks. Then we checked outside the indoor pool and for our luck there was an ice cream shop. "ICE CREAM!!!" he yelled.
After the ice cream we went back to the others and the drinking continued. Soon I was drunk af and that was bad. Drunk Felix is a mess and too honest..... which is a deadly duo if you ask me.
"Lixie, my head hurts from the music can we go outside please?" He asked. "Yeah let's go." When we got outside he laid down on a nearby bench. I sat down next to him. "Look Lix, you can see the starts." he pointed to the sky. "It's beautiful." I said, adoring the stars. "They remind me of your freckles." he said. It made me blush, luckily it was dark so he couldn't see it.
"Look Binnie there's a shooting star!" I pointed. "Wooooow, did you make a wish Lixie?" he asked with a baby voice. "Yeah I did, I hope that you also made a wish." I replied. "I wished for my parents to be happy again." he said with a sad tone but it changed when he asked me another question. "Now tell me, what did Lixie wish for?" He looked at me with big puppy eyes. "I wish for someone very special to like me back." I said without overthinking it. "Who is that someone?" he said. "The person in front of me..." I turned to him. "Ah Lixie don't worry, I like you... as a friend."
My heart broke to pieces as soon as my brain processed what he said. I didn't know what to say nor think. I just stood up leaving him there. I remembered saying 'I need to go home cause I feel sick' but that was a lie.
I ran and ran until I was breathless. My legs, lungs and head hurt but not as much as my heart. The pain was unbearable. So many emotions got mixed up. I felt dumb and betrayed at the same time. I shouldn't have thought that he felt the same but those little moments told me otherwise. I was so confused..... still am actually.
Sadly my thoughts got interrupted when I tripped on something. I fell to the ground and didn't feel like getting up. So I just sat there crying like the hopeless fool I truly am and wondered why the fuck does the universe make everything so much harder.
I was crying and crying for idk how long when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I was greeted with Hyunjin. He had a sad smile. He hugged me with tear filled eyes. "Why are you crying?" I said with the same sad smile. "I hate to see you hurting and I don't know how to help."
"Can we please not talk about it...." I whispered. Hyunjin just nodded and hugged my tighter. We sat there for a while until Hyunjin's phone started ringing. "Hello, yes I've found him." he said. "Come on let's get you back." he said. "Wait! Can I share a room with you?" I asked with still tear filled eyes. "Yes of course, I'm sure Seungim won't mind." he patted my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile.
We walked back and I immediately ran to Hyunjin's and Seungmin's room, completely ignoring the others. I took the quickest shower ever and went to bed, not caring about anything. I completely ignored everyone.... how surprising.
The following day:
I woke up to a pounding headache. My head was spinning and I felt sick. Oh how much I love to get drunk. Lie...
Anyways, next to the bed I was sleeping was a night stand with some water and pain killers. There was a little note next to it.
"Good Morning Lix, I hope that these will lessen the morning headache."
-Hyunjin
I smiled to myself until last nights memories came back to me. Oh how much I didn't want to remember it. I don't really now what to do anymore. I mean, what did I expect? Love never works out for me. Friendzone loves me way to much. I got tired of trying....
I decided to leave my depressive thought alone... for a while. I put on some decent clothes but didn't bother fixing my bed hair. I walked down to the kitchen where (for my luck) weren't anyone but Hyunjin. I gave him a back hug before taking a cup of green tea. I walked out to the backyard which happened to be quite large. Great place for being alone...
I sat down on an abandoned bench, pulling out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. Before, I hated the idea of smoking but now...? There's just so much shit in this world that you need to deal with it somehow. This is my way I guess...
I lit the first one, bringing it to my dried out lips. The familiar scent which I found disgusting years ago hit me like a truck. I calmed down a bit but I still felt the pain. I kept on going, hating myself for it...
Who am I kidding, I hate myself anyways....
A/N:
Almost every emotion in this chapter is real....
