home alone ☆ tyrus

swings have never been so... not fun

｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

cyrus felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw exactly what he was really, really hoping not to see- but, he wasn't surprised. tj was his best friend; he just knows him too well.
tj was sitting quietly, swinging at a slow pace on his designated swing. he always sits on the right, while cyrus sits on the left. cyrus could see the disappointment in the elder's face; the morning sun can't help but shine on him and make him glow, even while he's upset and cyrus is mad.
even when i'm angry with him, he's still perfect, cyrus thought. he huffed and pouted his lip, not wanting to go over to him
.
tj is the one who started this, i shouldn't have to end it!

he was just about to turn around and leave when tj looked in his direction, his eyes dancing with this forlorn, distraught look, and cyrus' heart felt like it was ripped into a million shreds. he couldn't ignore that look.

"damn, you're almost as good at puppy eyes as i am," cyrus chuckled harshly, taking his place on the swing set.

"ha, maybe i am," tj spoke softly, almost too softly. something was definitely different, cyrus could see it.

"teej-"

"cyrus, i'm so sorry."

"oh," cyrus' eyes fluttered wide-open with surprise, "continue."

"i-i shouldn't have ignored you, it was such a douche move, i know i'm an asshole and you shouldn't forgive me, but- well, i want you to," tj stammered, "i was just..."

he sat in silence, a storm of red clouds drifting up his neck to his cheeks and ears, spreading the color all over his face. cyrus couldn't help but smirk.

"you were what?"

"i was- um, i- i just," tj sucked in a sharp breath, "i was... jealous."

cyrus' jaw dropped so fast he was lucky it was hinged to his skull, because it most definitely would've hit the ground if it weren't.

"tj kippen? jealous? jealous of what?" cyrus reveled, his smile wide with intrigue.

"of iris," tj mumbled incoherently.

"speak up, mr. jealousy!" cyrus taunted.

"i was jealous of iris, alright?" tj rose his voice, turning his gaze towards the lake and avoiding the look of surprise on his best friend's face.

"why on earth would you be jealous of her?"

tj glared in the boy's direction, and answered with, "because she likes you."

"no she doesn't, tj! she's gay." cyrus giggled, "couldn't you tell from the piercing and purple hair?"

"oh."

"why would you be jealous of her liking me?" cyrus asked, regaining his seriousness- and quite frankly- his state of innocent oblivion.

how dumb can you be, cy? tj wondered.

"it's not important."

"tj, tell me. we didn't fight just to not make up."

tj stood up, his face so red it almost looked like it burned; his eyes started to water, and cyrus didn't get to say anything before tj lost himself.

"if you don't know, i can't believe how oblivious you are," tj choked out with his quivering lip, "ask anybody, cyrus. it's not like they care about me enough to spare me the embarrassment! i can't understand any of this and you're making it so much more difficult, so i don't even see why you should care at all when all you do is confuse me!"

tj stormed away in the direction of his house, but cyrus ran after him, too overwhelmed to even see the clear reason tj acting out like he is.
he needed to know what he meant.
he needed to know it wasn't what he was thinking- or what he wanted it to be.

"tj, wait!"

"i said i'm sorry! can't we just drop it?" tj whipped around, the tears once locked in his eyes now set free. they ran down his cheeks like they'd been help captive forever. his sweatshirt sleeves were balled around his fists, and his knees were wobbly.
cyrus has never seen him like this.

"why do i have to ask someone else? just tell me what's going on, please!" cyrus begged softly, not realizing the grip he had on the blond's wrist.

"cyrus, i-"

"i did not come here to end a fight you started just to get no answer, tj!" cyrus snapped, stepping closer to the boy.

"fine, you wanna know?" tj countered, stepping even closer.

"yeah, i really do." another step.

noses nearly touching, tj let out a shaky breath, and he answered the question.

"i like you the way marty likes buffy, the way andi likes amber, the way jonah likes walker," tj spilled the words like a bucket knocked over, "i like you the way i should like girls, and i'm terrified of myself. that's what's going on, cyrus."

cyrus let go of his death grip on tj's wrist, stunned still with shock.

tj likes me the way i like him.
tj likes me the way i like him.
tj likes me the way i like him.

"just forget i said anything. i'm going home."

"tj, wait-"

"i'm done waiting, cyrus. it hurts me to wait." tj said.

and then he let him walk away.

cyrus, say something!

he opened his mouth, but his throat held onto the words with a tight fist.

tj was out of sight, and now cyrus was left with the crushing weight of the fact that he let tj go.

"what do i do now?" cyrus asked no one in particular, standing where his crush left him and wondering what the hell was wrong with his stupid, stupid throat.

andi would tell him the universe had a plan and that he shouldn't worry, but right now the universe had royally screwed him.

he really needed to talk to his friends.