Life goes on

Chapter six: the mistake.

     I knew that as soon as I said this it was purely out of instinct. Maybe I snapped? Who knows. The last time I had said this we took a break for a couple of days until he let me explain to him why. It was pretty bad and I was really convinced that he was going to break up with me.
     "Please calm down. Don't make me say it" I say scared knowing that when he gets mad he gets really mad. It gets so bad. Sometimes I feel like he can't control himself and that scares me the most.
     "Say what Nazery. What in the world could you say that could-" I cut him off.
     "Your acting like the biggest dick ever. When you act like this it makes me not want to love you anymore and you know this. Please stop and start to think about things Noah. You hurt my feelings way too much and sometimes I feel as if you manipulate me and use me all of the time. I'm sick of it." This time when I said it I noticed his eyes went from bright and angry to sad and dim. I didn't regret saying it as much as I thought I would. I wish he would understand where I was coming from. After all that happened to me with Grace I thought he would take it easier... especially after last time I told him this. But wait, I didn't tell him this. I told him this in one summary. "I hate you" I couldn't believe I had said that to him before. I guess I didn't finish my sentence after I said that. I meant to say I hate you when you do this. But no before, I didn't say that. When I said these new things they just rolled off of my tongue like I've been dying to say it. I didn't feel bad that I did either. Maybe I actually did mean these things but I didn't notice it. Maybe it was just trapped inside of me. Regardless of what it was, I said it and the words were floating out in the open and I couldn't take them back.
"I-i didn't know you felt like that Nazery. I-I-I'm-" he started to say
"It doesn't matter. What's done is done." I say as I grab my things and start to run home. I didn't live to far from the place but I knew a secret way that wasn't close to any of the roads that Noah could follow me on. So I ran that way. My thoughts were going a million miles an hour in my head. I couldn't think right and I just wanted to get home and go to sleep. I looked up and i was on my street. How did I get here so fast? I don't care. I just want to get to bed and never leave. I go through my window since I always leave it unlocked Incase I have to get in or out in an emergency, plus it was on he second floor so it was hard to get up if it was anyone else but me. I have a tree house right outside my window so I hang on a branch and climb over to my window. I get inside and I close my window and lock it this time. I didn't care if my parents were worried or if they weren't expecting me and were arguing still. I just did not care. I was so mad and worked up over Noah. Then i feel myself drifting off to sleep trying to understand what just went down.
(Next day) I woke up and it was late. My parents didn't wake me up? Weird. My phone was blown up with text messages and a ton of missed calls from all of my friends. I knew that if I called Kate she'd tell the group that she heard from me. I could really only trust Renea at the moment. I knew that if I called her at 10:34 that she would be in the bathroom touching up on her makeup in the bathroom and would more than likely be alone. As I waited for time to pass I go out of my room to see if my parents were home. I looked outside and didn't see their cars. I guess they went to work. As I was going over to grab an orange I see a note from my mom: "Honey, Renea and Kate called me yesterday and told me everything. I'm sorry that it happened to you. I called into school for you so don't worry about going. Love you -mom." I smile to myself knowing I'm home alone. I check the time and it's 10:32. I decide to call Renea.
"Hey umm Renea? Are you alone in the bathroom right now"
"You know I am, so what happened? We've all been so worried about you."
"I'm sorry I just left out of no where and disappeared. I ran home and went to bed immediately trying to understand what had just happened. I just couldn't take sitting there anymore and had to get things out of my head."
"That's okay, I understand it happens sometimes. So when are you coming back or can I at least tell them that you called?"
"You know it would really be helpful if you didn't. Not to be rude but I don't want anyone to know where I am or anything like that. I knew I could trust you so that's why I called. And I'm coming back Monday since today is Friday anyways."
"Okay sounds good and girl... Noah does not look good today. He has massive bags under his eyes and he looks like a thirty year old alcoholic that just got out of the bar." I was in shock. Why does he even care? I didn't think he would. Or that he even loves me. Oh well. I'll talk to him when I'm ready.
"Tell everyone that you talked to my mom and that I told her that I'll talk to him when I ready, not when it's convenient to him and that I'm fine, I just don't know how I got home so fast."
"Okay i will. Promise. Love you boo stay safe and sober!" Renea says laughing.
"mhmm i will girl. Now get back to class your like six minutes late."
"Oh crap. Well gtg!" She hangs up and I go back to my room and think about what I'm going to do with Noah. Then I get a text from a unknown number.
??: Noah hooked up with Jessica after you ran away and I have proof. Text me after school for more info.
Who was this person? I bet it was just Jessica or Noah trying to get to me so I would talk to him sooner but I still wanted to know what was up. I waited til after school and texted them.
Me: what's up? What do you have? And if this is some kind of sick game your playing Jessica I don't want in and if it's Noah... I'm not going to talk to you any sooner so stop now.
??: it's neither of them. If you want to know what's up then meet me at the gas station on the corner of mills and 8th street Sunday at 6.
Me: can I bring someone? Just for safety.
??: sure but don't try any funny stuff or else you'll regret it.
What did I just get myself into.