wonderlani

Chapter 14

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How can she say what she did and just shrug it off as if it's nothing? How could anyone tell someone else that they're being abused... That they were abused, and they act if it's nothing at all. God look at her, smiling and laughing as if she didn't drop the biggest fucking bomb on me four and a half hours ago. How can she even-

"Harri!" I shook my head and turned toward the voice; Lizzie huffed with her arms crossed against her chest. Her green eyes are dull with frustration as they followed the direction I was staring off in. A small sigh left her chest as she sat down next to me, ankles crossed and arms still folded. 

"You know if you don't pass this little dance challenge you'll never look at her again right?" I glared over at her and a breath hitched in her throat, "I mean as in compete! Not like, you'll never see her see her again. She's on the internet. All over it actually, I mean you can't go anywhere without seeing her face and I'm going to stop talking." She closed her mouth and looked at her feet quickly, a small blush dusted her cheeks. She's only trying to help. Don't chew her head off. 

I sighed, "I'm sorry Lizzie. I just have a lot on my mind,"

"Well," Her voice pecked up as she looked back up at me with soft eyes, "We could always talk, if you want I know, I know you're kind of specific about who you talk to and stuff," Her lips curled into a tiny grin and her eyes sparkled with hope. I smiled back at her with warmth and sighed, my eyes wandered back over to Louisa and Zara as they gossiped about boys, or shoes, or whatever else. I can taste the salt in that sentence. Ugh, what has she done to me?

"She's just, just," I shook my head with a shoulder shrug, "An enigma."

"Oh gosh! I hope she's okay!" Lizzie panicked, already hopped onto her feet. I grabbed a tight hold of her ankle. Her right foot slid a little far up and craved in underneath her, her body tumbled to the ground with a thud. I yanked my hand back as I crawled to her.

"Lizzie? Lizzie, are you okay?" My breathing picked up and my chest started to heave... Shit. I tried to catch my breath as Lizzie sat back on her calves as she rubbed her nose with a smile.

"Fine-Harri," Her voice filled with concern as I continued to try and catch my breath, but nothing seems to work. Damnit. I stood up on my feet quickly as I raced back behind the curtains. 

I held a hand over my heart as I rested my other against the wall; this hand is my guiding light, and the wall is the balance beam. I can feel my chest caving in and my feet starting to give way. Or so Pop would put it. I continued to push forward, my eyes scanned the area for a quiet place; bathroom, no. Parlor, no. Girls' room, nope. Office, office? I rested my body against the back wall, right before the corner so I can at least check the name on the door. My breathing got worse by the minute; it's only getting faster and this is the worst kind of panic attack for me. I can't breathe. My body is weak. My mind is quiet. Muted so I can't get any help. 

Come on Harri. A few more steps and you can breathe. Harri? Harriet? I slid down against the wall, still trying to catch my breath. My heart raced even more as the sudden sense of despair and dread strangled me against the wall. I gently banged my head against the corner one, two, three, four-Stop.

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"Stop banging your head, you'll give yourself a concussion." Thanks captain obvious.

"She's not breathing right. Throne, do something!"

"Don't go shoutin' in my fucking ear. Move back; she needs space to breathe."