wonderlani

Chapter 15

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She's an enigma. That's the only way to explain how someone could look so amazing, doing something so tragic to their body. 

She took a small inhale, the smoke rolled her tongue as she took in a deep breathe. It smelled like a skunk had babies in my bathtub,  but it wasn't a skunk. She laid her head back against the cold white tiles of my shower, her eyes turnt from a dark blue to a shiny sky blue, her lips formed a flat line as her shoulder limped back and her hand gently rested on the side of the tub. Her white robe rolled up to the elbows and her tiny seethrough... Too much, too much. Way too much. 

I sat on the other side with my knees against my chest, my legs clamped together tight. I wrapped my arms around myself in a tiny hug as my head relaxed on my kneecaps. My long white t-shirt was dirty with smoke ashes and my bottoms were way too long for the tub so now I'm sitting on the cold floor with my boyshorts with a tiny bow, which she grinned at. 

"...so," I finally mumbled out as I fiddled around with my feet. Her head sat back up slowly as she slowly sighed, a tiny smile filled her face as she lifted her drug back up to her lips, taking a deep drag before dropping her hand back down; her eyes and smile never looking my view. I looked down at my feet with a hard swallow, a blush dusted my cheeks. 

"So what?"

"What did you, you um... What did you want to talk about?" I looked back up at her with soft eyes, letting them wander down to her hand. It flinched toward the door and my eyes snapped back up to look at hers; her smile drained from her face and replaced with dull blues and a frown that could stop anyone's heart. She looks hopeless. 

She sighed deeply, her body jolted upright as she handed her hand over to me. I looked down at her righty and then back up at her with pleading eyes. She forced it in my direction, so I gently took it from her hand and brought it up to my lips. But before I could take a hit, it was gone. I looked down at my hand in fear, did I drop this in front of her? She is going to kill me! I looked from my hand to her, a small hand hovered over my kneecaps as she sat back down, her hand lazy against the edge of the tub again. 

"Rockstar. Don't let anyone make you do something you don't want. Take the fun out of shit, okay?" She mumbled while looking at the door, so I nodded and mumbled a yes, "... My mom set me up with him. Wasn't my choice,"

"But it was your choice to stay with him for that long." Shit. I covered my mouth as she glared over at me, her blue eyes stork sliver as she burned a hole in my soul, I thought I died to be honest but then she... She looked away from me and giggled to herself, taking another hit while nodding her head. 

"Yeah I fucked up there, didn't I?" I mumbled to herself, the smoke slipped from her mouth in the beautiful circus of craziness. I swallowed the air around her, I sat back a bit more when I realized I was in her personal space, bubble. I didn't mean to, her energy is just so-

"I um," She started with a sniffle, "I um started dating him when my band first got together; we use to write songs and shit together you know? Stupid stuff about love and marriage," She giggled to herself again, shaking her head in my direction, "Then things just changed, haven't even been able to be in the same room since then,"

"What changed?" She looked down at her lap, taking another small drag, a tear landed on her thigh. "...I mean we don't have to talk about that, it's okay."