Give it up now

I don't know why

The trip to The Grill was faster than expected. Jenny thought she might feel like an extra, but the group was rather likeable, and Tyler was trying his best to make her feel included. Maybe a little too much, Jenny thought, given that he had decided to place his arm around her shoulders multiple times. And no matter how many times she pushed him away he always came back. Human touch which the other night felt bearable now felt like someone was burning her with a flaming iron. Maybe it was because they were near other people, in a public place or maybe it was because the other night she had a few too many drinks. Either way she wasn’t comfortable but he didn’t seem to notice.

The lunch was pleasant, if you are the kind of person that can eat while other people are describing sexual positions and disgusting youtube videos. So, it wasn’t really pleasant when it came to Jenny. But she had forgotten how teens were, and she just kept in mind that things would change as they got older.

When they had finished their meal and got outside Jenny noticed that the crowd had suddenly disappeared, leaving her alone with Tyler.

He looked deeply at her as he had done before, and Jenny thought it was even harder to handle than the touch. She instantly looked away and pulled her sleeves down in a way that only the finger tips were able to be seen.

-Jenny.-He purposely made a dramatic pause.- you need to let me kiss you now.

Jenny’s body suddenly turned to stone. It wasn’t anything new, but it felt like it.

-Why?-She asked starring at the park bench next to her.

He positioned himself so that he could look her in the eyes again.

-Because you’re different.-he said. It wasn’t that answer she was looking for, because he didn’t understand her question.

-Most people don’t like different.-she said.-Most people like what they know.

-I’m not most people.-Tyler said.

But the thing is, in Jenny’s mind, he was. He looked like a “normal”, he acted like a “normal”, he had to be a “normal”. But Jenny wasn’t, she couldn’t belong with him. And although most of the times it felt that way in her heart, this time it didn’t. And she had to admit that he made her feel, well, happy of sorts.

-I just can’t…-it was the only thing Jenny could say.

Tyler stared at her, he was looking for something inside of her. She was nothing like anyone he ever met. He knew that in the first second he saw her crossing the road, heading to “The Grill”. She walked carelessly and yet aware of all her surroundings. She was magnificent.

He needed to kiss her again, because the other night was all a big blur. But he couldn’t tell her that. And why couldn’t she do it now? Why did she look away every time?

He put his left cheek against her right one, putting his lips close to her ear, whispering:

-I can change things, I promise. – He wasn’t sure why he said that, but it seemed to cause a reaction.

She knew he couldn’t promise that, and yet she wanted to believe it, she needed it, because she needed something to make her keep holding on. She was an only sinking ship, fighting to stay afloat.

She gave in. This time his kiss was gentle, like she was made of glass. His hands surrounded all of her pale face. He felt like home, and for a second there she felt like she didn’t belong.

When Tyler pushed away a little, and finally opened his eyes he saw a tear falling through her cheek, almost unrecognizable if you were a little further. Her eyes were still closed. Jenny was trying to hold on to that moment, create a memory out of a split second.

-What’s wrong?-he asked.

And she wanted to tell him everything. How when it was 4a.m. and she was all alone, she cried her eyes out and wondered why the world was a horrible, scary place. How sometimes all she wanted was to be alone but she couldn’t bare being that lonely. How the memories went dark in two seconds. How she could feel her soul leave her body for dead.

-Nothing. It’s nothing.-she shook her head and backed away, letting him follow her, making her way back to school.-Allergies.

In the middle of the way her eyes crossed with Klaus. It was for less than a second but it felt like hours. He looked in her eyes, but not like Tyler. No, in Klaus’ there was no doubt or wonder, he saw her like nobody had ever seen her, and she could swear he smiled a little.